


Give Me a Sign

by CassadyFlies



Series: Hands Held Out [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: American Sign Language, Blind Character, Deaf Character, Deaf Culture, Deafblindness, I know a little bit more JSL now, M/M, Part Two, Sign Language, harumako, love is blind, makoharu - Freeform, side pairing reigisa, so this is now kind of a mix?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-03 00:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 45,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2831849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassadyFlies/pseuds/CassadyFlies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to 'Love is Blind.' </p>
<p>Haruka and Makoto have graduated college, and Makoto is starting work at Meisei Gakuen- the Japanese School for the Deaf. Things are going great until Makoto and Haru are faced with a haunting parallel of the past.</p>
<p>This is part of the AU where Haru has Usher Syndrome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

“Haru, where’s my bag?” Makoto fretted, bouncing on his toes as he racked his brain trying to remember where he’d left it.

 

“How should _I_ know?” Haru frowned. “I never saw it.”

 

“I have to be in the car by 7:15 if I want to make it to work on time, and if I’m late today, that leaves a bad first impression _forever!”_ Makoto babbled, glancing around their apartment hoping he’d suddenly see it.

 

“Did you leave it in the car?” Haru frowned, patting Makoto on the shoulder sympathetically.

 

“No, I-” Wait. _Oh my god, I left it in there when I went to get my spare swimsuit last night…_ He sighed with relief, “Yeah, I did.”

 

“Okay.” Haru nodded. “Eat breakfast.”

 

“Okay.” Makoto sat down at the table, feeling stupid. How was it that _he_ was the one to always lose things? He could _see._

 

When they had first moved in together after college, not much really felt like it had changed. Makoto had spent most of his days, and Friday and Saturday nights at Haru’s apartment anyway. The main difference was, oddly, eating. Before, they had tended to sit across the table from each other, eating quickly before getting back to their lives. After Makoto moved in, meals had become the time that they really talked. They were both so busy during the day that being together during breakfast and dinner was not only a welcome break, but necessary. Since Makoto couldn’t really talk well with the lights off, conversation around bedtime was limited.

 

Makoto was excited. Today marked his first day working at Meisei Gakuen, The Japanese School for the Deaf. He had officially declared his major in college in his second year, and graduated in his fourth with a bachelors degree in Child Development. Finally, it was time to start working on paying back those college loans. His job involved assisting the kids who had never learned any language before, and also being the hearing person that dealt with the parents of said children. Makoto wasn’t too worried about that. Most bad parents were just ignorant rather than vindictive, and it was probably all very strange and uncertain for them, given that for most, the first deaf person they had ever met was their own child. Besides, Makoto had dealt with _Haru’s_ mom before, and how much worse could it really get?

 

Haru was still working at the aquarium. By now, he had been promoted to working with not only the dolphins, but also the other marine mammals and the sharks. He was head trainer too, which meant that an interpreter was frequently at the aquarium to help everyone understand what was happening at the meetings. Several times, the interpreter had been Rin.

 

Rin had gotten his licence as an interpreter shortly after graduating college, as a way to make money while he started his swimming career. Since there was a shortage of interpreters in general, and especially interpreters skilled at Deafblind communication, Rin never had any trouble finding work.

 

But today was just a normal day for Haru. What was _special_ was Makoto finally getting to start his own career. He felt like a real adult as he collected his car keys, cell phone, and laptop before quickly kissing Haru goodbye and walking out the door.

 

Yes. Totally mature.

 

“MAKOTAN, I NEED A RIDE!” A very loud voice wailed from down the hallway, colliding with Makoto and causing one of their neighbors to open her door in annoyance. Nagisa gazed up at him with doleful eyes. “I have to go to work today, but Rei-chan’s left for _his_ work already, and I left my car at the bar that I went to last night because I’m _responsible,_ Makotan! Don’t punish me for being _responsible!”_ He blinked innocently.

 

Ah. The wonderful feeling of maturity disappeared in an instant. “I can’t! I’m just barely going to be on time as it is!” Makoto glanced at the time on his phone nervously.

 

“PLEASE MAKOTAN?” Nagisa begged, widening his eyes as far as they could go, until Makoto worried they might pop out of his skull.

 

“You should have prepared ahead of time for your car.” Makoto scolded, “That was not at all responsible.”

 

Nagisa looked desolate, “You’re going to Meisei? Just… drop me off at the bus station outside? Just let me ride with you?”

 

Makoto sighed, “I guess that’s fine, then. Hurry up.”

 

Instantly more chipper, Nagisa bounced alongside Makoto all the way down the all to the elevator, and out the door on the first floor.

 

“Hey, Makotan? Wanna know what me and Rei-chan did last night?” Nagisa grinned.

 

“No, not particularly.” Makoto tried to look like a condescending mother, hoping that would restore his sense of adult-ness.

 

Nagisa waved his hands, “No, no, no- _before_ we got back to our place. Although-”

 

 _“No.”_ Makoto insisted.

 

Nagisa huffed, “Prude. Fine, I’ll leave out all the good parts. Some girl at the bar walked up to me, all with her giant eyelashes and boobs and stuff- I know, _me._ Poor girl- So Rei-chan literally _picks me up_ and carries me to the other side of the bar with his eyes all narrow like he’s _jealous._ Of a _girl._ Pft. And so the girl gets some of her friends together, and suddenly this giant flock of girls is-”

 

“Sorry, _flock of girls?”_ Makoto looked down at him bemusedly.

 

Nagisa shrugged, “Well, I don’t know the scientific word. Ask Rei-chan that. Herd? Murder?”

 

_“Murder?”_

 

“You know, like crows. Whatever. Point is, this flock of girls comes over telling off Rei-chan for picking me up like that, and saying how ‘He should be allowed to make his own choices’ and blah blah blah.” Nagisa grinned, eyes sparkling, “So you know what he does?” He didn’t wait for Makoto to answer. “He leans over and _kisses me._ Full on, in front of the entire bar.” Nagisa squealed, “It was so cute! He _never_ does stuff like that, he’s always so careful! Anyway, the flock all flew away and we went on with our night after that, but _Makotan, can you believe it?”_

 

They reached Makoto’s car. He unlocked it and climbed inside, “Sounds fun, Nagisa.”

 

“I know!” Nagisa strapped himself in, kicking his feet in joy, “I’m gonna work on getting him drunk more often.”

 

Makoto shook his head, “That’s horrible…”

 

“Oh, grow up.” Nagisa scoffed, “Bet you do stuff like that to Haru-chan all the time.”

 

Makoto thought about it, but drew a blank. “You know… I don’t think we really go places enough for things like that to happen.”

 

Nagisa gasped loudly and falsely, “That’s _terrible,_ Makotan! You shouldn’t keep Haru-chan inside all the time, that’s not very _equal access_ of you.”

 

Makoto shrugged, turning out of the parking lot, “It’s not like I’m _keeping_ him inside. I don’t like bars or clubs, and people and music don’t really do much for Haru, so-”

 

“That’s not even remotely the point.” Nagisa scolded, “If you don’t take a break from your normal life now and then, you’ll go crazy! You have to do something to _relax._ Just to stop thinking so much for a little while.”

 

“Not that you think much at all.” Makoto teased him.

 

Nagisa’s jaw dropped, “That’s so _mean!_ I think Rin-chan’s starting to rub off on you. Besides, it’s not like Haru-chan hates music. I know this one place with bass that might make a hearing person go deaf. Also, alcohol affects the system _regardless_ of hearing status. Come on. Just one night. For Haru-chan’s sake.”

 

Makoto shook his head, “You’d have to talk to Haru about that.”

 

“Ugh!” Nagisa groaned, “He’s so difficult! Just… fine. Do it for _my_ sake. I know you can convince Haru-chan for _just one night.”_ He pouted, “Pleeeease?”

 

Makoto sighed, “I’ll mention it to him tonight.”

 

Nagisa seemed content, and they drove the rest of the way in relative silence.

 

Nagisa hopped out at the bus stop just in front of Meisei. “See you this Saturday at nine thirty, Makotan! I’ll text you the address!”

 

“Wait, I never said I’d-” But Nagisa was already turned away, chatting with a stranger at the bus stop who was holding a grocery bag full of tennis balls. Makoto sighed, and drove off to find a parking space. He’d have to break the news about their weekend to Haru gently somehow… Maybe he’d take him to the pool to tell him.

 

His first day at Meisei went well, Makoto thought. As soon as he walked in, he was introduced to the kids in the Developing Language class he was assisting with. It felt a little strange to speak in sign without having anyone touch him. He couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling that nobody understood what he was saying.

 

Throughout the day, he played countless games with the young kids. Everyone was between the ages of five and ten, which was a pretty big range, but they were all satisfied with the group bonding activities that Makoto was in charge of facilitating. The idea was to play games that involved lots of visual information, not just words. For instance, if Makoto showed a picture of an elephant, the kids would all try to act like an elephant. It was pretty simple, but they all loved it and that’s what really mattered. Then, they played I spy, which in this case was also sort of charades. They also played a game where everyone had a sign for their name (since none of them had their own name signs yet), and you had to remember who was who or you had to sit down. For hours, they played games like this, with small snack breaks in the middle.

 

During these games, the lead teacher would take individual kids to the side to practice vocabulary skills. It was pretty frustrating work, so the kids were thrilled to join back up with Makoto for more game time.

 

By the end of the day, Makoto was exhausted. All he wanted to do was go home and relax on the couch with Haru. However, before he could leave, the lead teacher pulled Makoto over to the side. She was intimidatingly tall, even for Makoto; and her three-inch heels did not help the issue. The thing Makoto really noticed, though, was her signing skills. She had come from a four-generation-long line of Deaf. Everything about her movements spelled grace and confidence. She looked at Makoto eye-to-eye, which was a pretty impressive feat.

 

“I have to warn you about something.” She began, foregoing all introductory formalities.

 

“Oh. Okay.” Makoto was surprised. He made sure his expression showed he was paying attention. It wasn’t something he ever had to do with Haru, so it was a skill he was still developing. He had discovered that Deaf people really care about what your expression says.

 

“All the new students will be coming in tomorrow. It’s your job to meet with their parents and make sure their children’s transition into our program goes as smoothly as possible. For most of these children, it will be the first time they’ve ever lived away from their parents- even the ones who are older. I expect you to show both respect and confidence during these meetings, and _do not_ look at the interpreters. That’s very annoying and rude. You will speak only Japanese as this is a matter of great importance. There will be one Hearing interpreter, and one Deaf interpreter. Each meeting will consist of around ten families, and there will be three meetings total. Expect a large audience, and don’t make a mistake. After that, if any prospective students and their families want to meet with you individually, please do so promptly, and _do not_ yell at the parents. We’ve had trouble in the past, that’s why the woman you’re replacing was fired. Any questions?” She raised her eyebrows at him expectantly.

 

Makoto felt a little overwhelmed, but- “No. None.”

 

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow, then, Tachibana-san. Please read over the presentation that was emailed to you, and be prepared for tomorrow morning.” She glanced down at her watch, holding a finger up to Makoto to wait. “Alright, make sure the kids all go to their _own_ dormitories. After that, you can go home.”

 

“Got it. See you tomorrow, um…” Crap. He didn’t know her name.

 

“Yamada.” She signed it “Mountain-field.” Sign language was so cool.

 

“See you tomorrow, Yamada-san.” Makoto smiled.

  
She walked away, heels clicking down the spacious hall. Now to get all the kids to bed, and Makoto could go home. Haru was cooking something that wasn’t mackerel tonight, so Makoto was looking forward to it. He was happy. A new job, and a home with the person he loved. Maybe adulthood wasn’t going to be so rough as people in high school had lead him to believe.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Makoto was nervous for his meetings with the families. He had read over his presentation twenty times, and he had it entirely memorized. Even still, he brought a meticulously organized set of notes with him, and a back up on his laptop. He really didn’t want to mess this up.

 

The first meeting went as smoothly as he could have hoped. It was mostly just parents and grandparents sitting with their bored looking kids- ranging between ages five and sixteen by the looks of it. The Hearing interpreter also sat in the audience, listening to Makoto talk and signing it to the Deaf interpreter, who stood on stage interpreting _that_ into better sign language.

 

Afterwards, several parents wanted to meet with Makoto privately, but it was mostly with questions about various other disabilities that might prove an issue to be addressed upon enrollment. One little girl showed up with no hands, but Makoto was surprised by how much he understood her. He supposed it looked a little like how slurring might sound.

 

The second meeting was a little more difficult than the first. One woman in the back kept shouting questions up to Makoto, disrupting the flow of the meeting. She was holding her child in her arms, and his head was resting on her shoulder. Makoto wondered if he might be asleep.

 

That woman didn’t sign up for a private meeting, but she took plenty of pamphlets and a handful of cookies from the snack table before she left with her husband to wait in the dining hall.

 

The third meeting was the easiest. Nobody asked any questions, and only one man with his daughter asked for a private meeting. Makoto had to call someone else in for that, because the family was from China, and didn’t speak enough Japanese or JSL to have an effective conversation. Turns out the little girl was having some issues with the idea of being separated from her father to live on campus, so they wanted to arrange it so that she only slept there on school nights until she got used to it. She would be picked up every Friday evening, and returned Monday morning. She would be a student in Makoto’s class, since she only spoke Chinese Sign Language.

 

After the meetings were over, the kids were tearfully dropped off by their parents in the dining hall. Makoto was in charge of the music, since most of the employees at Meisei were Deaf themselves. It was a nice break. He got to sit back and observe the people milling about, their diverse mix of languages fluttering around. He even saw a couple parents using Cued Speech- a kind of phonetic alphabet that mimicked Japanese sounds. It was something that Haru used as a kid in his Oralist school. He didn’t have the most positive opinions regarding it. _Well_ _,_  Makoto reasoned, _at least these kids are here now._ At Meisei, using true JSL was emphasized. Signing gave the kids self-esteem, and improved their behavior and manners. When you didn’t have to struggle to understand the world, you tended to be a nicer, more rational person.

 

Frowning, Makoto noticed something- the questioning mother from before was still holding her son, who still appeared to be asleep on her shoulder. Making sure the playlist was set, Makoto approached her.

 

“Hello, I’m the new assistant teacher of the Developing Language class, Tachibana Makoto. I believe your son is enrolled in that program?” He smiled warmly, peering nervously at the child.

 

“Shigino Yui of Kissaten Yume. Yes, this is my son, Hayato.” She patted her son on the back and he squirmed. _Alright, not asleep, then._

 

“Shigino-san, is it?” Makoto tried to make small talk while he avoided staring at Hayato with concern. “I knew a Shigino in college, his name was Kisumi-kun.”

 

“That’s my son.” She nodded, _“He_ just graduated a year ago. Are you sure you’re old enough to work with children?”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened, not really sure where to start. He took the easy route. “Shigino Kisumi-kun is your son? That’s such a coincidence! We lived in the same residence hall for the first year. We were good friends.”

 

“Apparently not good enough to tell you he had brother. Hayato is eight years old now, he was three when Kisumi left.” She frowned at Makoto.

 

Makoto was nervous. He didn’t really deal well with people like this. “Ah… Well, I’m actually quite surprised he didn’t tell me his little brother was deaf, considering that my roommate of the time was-”

 

“He wasn’t.” She huffed, “He wasn’t back then. He was four when he got sick, and five when he got like this. Kisumi’s third year.” She set Hayato on the floor, turning him to face Makoto. He clung to his mother’s hand tightly, burying his face in her palm. “He can’t-”

 

“Hello everyone!” The lights flashed, signalling everyone to turn to the front of the room. “Now that you’ve all had a chance to say goodbye to your kids, we’d like all of our new students to gather by the door, we’re going to show them all to their new rooms!” Both the announcer and the interpreter had enormous energy. It was disconcerting given the mood of the room was overall sad.

 

Mrs. Shigino picked Hayato back up roughly, and carried him to the front of the room, standing as the only adult in the group. Makoto followed, still a little concerned about her behavior.

 

“All the children will follow their teacher now, thank you all for coming, and please visit us again whenever you like!” The interpreter pointed at the teachers as she spoke.

 

The parents all smiled and cried as their children marched away after their teacher. Except for Mrs. Shigino. She walked right along with the children, carrying her son against her shoulder.

 

Makoto approached her, “Ah- Mrs. Shigino? You can just leave Hayato-kun with us, I promise he’s in safe hands.”

 

“I’m walking with him to the dorms.” She declared, turning away from Makoto pointedly.

 

_Oh, well. I guess it doesn’t hurt._ Makoto followed behind, making sure the slower walking children kept up.

 

The dormitories for the Developing Language students were on the first floor, so the walk to their rooms was short. Mrs. Shigino finally set Hayato down in front of a door marked ‘117.’ He buried his face in her palm again, refusing to follow his three roommates inside.

 

After a moment, Mrs. Shigino finally pulled her hand away. Hayato just stood there, with his eyes screwed shut, fists balled up stiffly at his sides. Without another word, Mrs. Shigino walked away.

 

Makoto knelt down to Hayato’s height, putting a hand on his shoulder. The child relaxed a little, letting his fists uncurl.

 

_How do I talk to him if he won’t open his eyes?_ Makoto wondered, staring sympathetically at Hayato’s anxious expression. Sighing, Makoto took Hayato’s hand, and pulled him forward a couple steps into his room. He tapped the child’s shoulder, hoping to get him to look up.

 

Eventually, Yamada-san the Lead teacher walked in looking annoyed.

 

“What are you doing?” She asked Makoto.

 

“This is Shigino Hayato. He won’t look at me.” Makoto explained, looking up at Yamada-san hopefully.

 

She shot Makoto an exasperated look, “Then pull his eyes open.” She commanded, like it were the most normal thing in the world.

 

Makoto just stared at her in shock.

 

She sighed, kneeling down next to him, “Watch,” she signed. She put her hand on Hayato’s cheek, lifting his chin. Then, with each thumb, she forced Hayato’s eyes open. She froze.

 

“What’s wrong?” Makoto asked, suddenly concerned.

 

“She didn’t tell us this…” Yamada-san said angrily, gesturing at Hayato’s face. He looked closer.

 

Makoto’s stomach sank as he looked into Hayato’s glazed over eyes that shot back and forth rapidly.

  
“Oh no…” Makoto reached out for Hayato’s hand as Yamada-san let his lids fall back closed. “He’s blind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is important to me that Makoto teaches Hayato in every universe. So I was mean to the poor kid so that could happen. :)
> 
> Also- Disclaimer: Meisei Gakuen is a real place, but since my Japanese is meh, I didn't read their website very much. Also, I made up basically everything about this place because I felt like it. I actually have no clue how Japanese Deaf schools are set up, so I made this one like an American Deaf school. But, with better education. BecaUSE I CAN!


	3. Chapter 3

 

Back at home that night, Makoto explained to Haru what had happened.

 

Haru’s expression fell, “That’s… What are you going to do?”

 

“I don’t know.” Makoto shook his head in frustration.

 

The problem wasn’t the fact that Hayato couldn’t see, per se. It was that he couldn’t speak. Any language at all. To teach a child their first language starting at eight years old was a messy thing- there were likely to be behavioral problems in any deaf _sighted_ child. But given that Hayato couldn’t even socialize with the other children, his language would be limited to his teachers, meaning his acquisition of language would be slow, painful, and contain no aspect of child culture. Not to mention attachment issues since he likely had no idea where he was and where his mother had gone.

 

“Call his mom. Bring her back.” Haru said firmly, “That’s not right. Parent’s shouldn’t just abandon their kids places, especially when they don’t and can’t speak the language.”

 

“Yeah, that’s true.” Makoto affirmed.

 

“It’s her kid, she needs to deal with him. She at least needs to stick around long enough to let Hayato know what’s happening.” Haru was scowling.

 

Of course he was upset, he’d been in a similar situation. Although, Haru had the advantage of knowing a language. At least he always knew where he was.

 

“Call Kisumi.” Haru suggested, “See if he knows anything about this.”

 

Makoto considered for a moment, “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Let me see if I can reach him.” Makoto glanced at the clock- 9:30. That probably wasn’t too late.

 

The phone rang three times before someone answered, “Makoto! No way! It’s been forever!”

 

“Hi, Kisumi. Yeah it has. Listen-”

 

“Hey, do you still live in Tokyo?” He interrupted, “because I’m actually out at this bar right now, so if you want you could meet me here, I’d love to get a drink with you and-”

 

“I met your brother.” Makoto blurted, stopping Kisumi in his tracks.

 

There was a long moment of silence. “Oh. Hayato. Right.” Another long pause. “You’re still with Haru, then?”

 

“Yeah.” Another increasingly awkward silence. “Listen, Kisumi-”

 

“No, it’s cool.” There was a clatter in the background. “I haven’t actually heard from my mom recently, so I don’t know what’s up with them exactly. But I guess Haru’s doing something with my brother, right? And that means my mom’s at least got him doing things, so… that’s good.”

 

Makoto was a little confused. “No, actually, he’s in my class. I’m teaching at Meisei now.”

 

“Umm…” another strange noise in the background, and the sound of a door closing. The background noise got quieter. “Hayato’s in school? You said... Meisei? Is that like, a blind school or something?”

 

_Oh._ Makoto realized. _He hasn’t talked to them in a long time, has he?_ Makoto weighed his options. _Oh well, better to piss off Haru now than risk not talking to Kisumi at all._ “Hey, where did you say you are? If you wouldn’t mind meeting up, there’s actually something I’d like to-”

 

“Oh yeah! I’ll text you the directions. It’s a bar called Romance, big neon sign with hearts on the front? You can’t miss it. Let’s get a drink and you can tell me all about my brother, okay? I’d like to catch up with you too, haven’t seen you since we graduated. Alright, I’ll text you. See you in a bit!” He hung up suddenly.

 

Makoto looked over at Haru, who was still sitting on the couch expectantly. Makoto sat down next to him, “I’m going to go meet with Kisumi at a bar, do you want to come?”

 

Haru frowned, “Why?” Makoto pretended not to notice his shoulders tense.

 

“It’s about Hayato, I don’t think they’ve talked in a while, he and his mom. You can come if you want, but I know you don’t like bars, so you don’t have to.” Makoto searched Haru’s face for reactions.

 

“I’m coming.” Haru responded instantly.

 

“Oh, okay. You sure?” That was a little surprising.

 

“Yeah. Come on, we’ll take the train.” Haru stood, grabbing his keys and wallet from the coffee table.

 

With wide eyes, Makoto stood to follow Haru.

 

They got a few stares on the train, but they always did. Makoto had learned not to mind. People were just curious usually, since seeing visual sign language was unusual enough, but then to watch two people communicating with tactile… It must look a little odd to someone who wasn’t used to it.

 

When children stared, Makoto didn’t mind in the slightest. Children never had any of those adult biases, or prejudices. They would watch with wide eyes, and occasionally ask questions. Haru didn’t mind the children either. Sometimes on a particularly long train ride, Makoto even taught the interested children how to spell their names so they could introduce themselves.

 

It was mainly the parents that were bothersome. The way they eyed both Haru and Makoto with mistrust, or even occasionally repulsion. Not that most parents were that way. Most parents tended to be cautious, which was understandable since their children were approaching two adult men on a train, but then they tended to watch with equal- if more reserved- fascination as their children asked questions.

 

Of course, it was Makoto’s job to work with young children, but Haru liked them too, and the feelings seemed to be mutual. Haru might seem cold to adults, but children always seemed to understand.

 

They arrived at the train station about fifteen minutes later. After that, they took a bus to the bar, since walking with Haru at night was an ordeal.

 

“Makoto! Haru! You made it!” A friendly voice greeted them at the door. Kisumi grabbed Haru’s hands and spelled his name. “Good to see you,” he signed.

 

Haru looked conflicted. “You too.” He signed.

 

“I’ve been trying to learn some sign language.” Kisumi explained, “Ever since my mom told me about Hayato six months ago… poor kid. I had no idea he was even sick. Wish I could have been there to help him.” Kisumi smiled sadly.

 

Something struck Makoto, “Wait… six months ago?” He frowned, trying to recall what Mrs. Shigino had told him.

 

“Yeah,” Kisumi nodded, “Apparently he was in the hospital for a bit? Nobody tells me anything. Anyway, I have a table. Let’s get settled.” Kisumi held out his hand to Haru, who took it warily.

 

They took a seat at a table in the back corner. Kisumi sat directly across from Makoto, who sat next to Haru.

 

Makoto was still bothered about something- “I thought…” He paused, now wondering if he was correct. Yeah. Definitely correct. Makoto had spent hours worrying over it. “I thought Hayato lost his hearing and vision back in our third year of college. That’s what your mom told me earlier.”

 

Kisumi expression changed from shock, to confusion, to annoyance in the space of three seconds. “In that case, I have no idea.” He sounded bitter. He glanced around to make sure nobody was listening before continuing. “You know, Makoto…” he sighed, “I wouldn’t trust a word my mom says if I were you. She’s the kind of person that just makes up facts to fit her own convenience. Problem is, as soon as she says something, she believes it. All I can really tell you for sure about my brother is that he wasn’t speaking many words before I left for school, and if he’s been raised anything like how I was, he hasn’t been let out of the house much.” Kisumi frowned, leaning back, “And… I hope… See, it’s just that I wouldn’t tell you any of this unless I really thought you could have an effect on my brother’s future.” He looked nervous. “I don’t know anything about Meisei, but if you’re working there, it must be okay. I only ask that you try to keep Hayato in school. Don’t let my mom pull him out, it could be good for him there.”

 

Makoto nodded, “Of course. I won’t tell anyone else what you’ve told me tonight either, so don’t worry. If… If you want, I can fill you in on the program Hayato will be attending.”

 

Kisumi smiled, “Thanks, yeah. Please, anything you can tell me.”

 

Makoto nodded, going on to explain as best he could the overview of the Developing Language program. How Hayato would be living on campus as he was taught how to speak proper JSL. How he would be around other kids in a similar age group, in similar situations. He also explained that he was concerned Hayato didn’t know where he was, or what was going on. He told Kisumi how his mother had left her son in Makoto’s care, without warning or explanation. Kisumi just nodded solemnly.

 

“Alright. Tell you what,” he downed the last of his drink, “Tomorrow morning, could you let me visit him? I haven’t talked to him in a while, but maybe…” he shrugged, “Maybe he’ll know it’s me, and seeing- ah… well, hearing from… You know what I mean. To meet someone familiar. Maybe it would be good for him.”

 

“Yeah.” Makoto nodded, “Yeah, that might be a good idea.”

 

Kisumi turned to Haru, talking as Makoto continued to interpret. “Hey, I don’t know what you’ve been up to lately, Haru, but if there’s ever anything you could tell me… you know, that might help my brother. I would really value your advice.”

 

Haru nodded in understanding. “I’ll think about it.”

 

“Sure. Thank you.” Kisumi nodded, “I just think that it might be good. That, if someone who’s been in a similar situation could say something to him. Eventually. I guess you really can’t say much to him now.” He looked sad for a moment before he shook himself, “Anyway, you two don’t have drinks yet, how could I be so inconsiderate?” He grinned, “What do you take? On me.”

 

They must have stayed at the bar for a good two hours. They passed the time catching up on each other’s lives, and getting progressively more touchy-feely as the alcohol hit their systems. Haru seemed to cool down a little too, he even let Kisumi pull him out to the center of the room where a group of people were dancing. He clung to Makoto the whole time, which was understandable given that if he let go, he might not find him again for a while.

 

When they finally left, it was only to catch the last train home. Kisumi went with them on the bus, but went his own way by train to his home. Before he left, he called out, “See you tomorrow, Makoto! Text me his lunchtime, okay?”

 

“Got it!” Makoto called back, stepping through the train doors. “Thanks a lot for this.”

 

Kisumi waved, “Of course. He’s my brother after all. _Someone’s_ got to take care of him.”

  
Someone should. Someone _had_ to. Of course, that person ought to be his mother, but as the circumstances were, Makoto supposed that having such a supportive brother was the next best thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kisumi seems like a good guy to me. He's just a little too flirty for Haru's jealous taste.
> 
> Ah, unfortunately, Mrs. Shigino was also inspired by a person I actually know... Sometimes people are bad parents it seems. :(
> 
> But hey, at least Kisumi's a nice enough brother to want to help! I liked the concern he showed in canon, so... now he's a nice guy here too. :)


	4. Chapter 4

True to his word, Kisumi showed up at Hayato’s lunch hour the next day. He strode in with such a confidence that Makoto almost didn’t notice him.

 

“Makoto!” Kisumi called across the lunch room.

 

Makoto jumped, spoken language hitting his ears oddly. “Ah, Kisumi! You made it. Hayato is…” Makoto glanced down. Hayato was stuffing mashed potatoes in his mouth by way of his hands. Makoto sighed, adjusting that behavior really meant nothing at the moment. It was just one small thing on a giant stack of social abnormalities that Makoto had noticed in that day alone.

 

Kisumi grimaced, “Guess it’s true then, huh?” He looked sad. “You know, I didn’t fully believe it until just now.” He sat down on the plastic cafeteria bench next to his brother. “Hey, Hayato. Long time no see.” He put his hand on the back of Hayato’s neck, “It’s Onii-san. Remember me?”

 

Hayato froze, reaching his mashed potato covered hands to touch Kisumi’s. He grabbed Kisumi’s hand and pulled it to his mouth, biting gently on his knuckles.

 

“Oh- okay.” Kisumi frowned, letting Hayato do his thing. He looked up at Makoto, “What’s this?”

 

Makoto shrugged, “Not sure. Could be he’s trying to figure out who you are. Like how babies put things in their mouths? Maybe he’s doing the same thing.”

 

Kisumi nodded, watching Hayato curiously bite his hand. “Figure it out?” He asked.

 

Hayato dropped Kisumi’s hand.

 

“Guess not.” Kisumi sighed, putting the abandoned hand on Hayato’s back as the child resumed his potato-stuffing. “I wonder…” he reached over and pinched Hayato’s nose.

 

Hayato froze again, grabbing Kisumi’s hand firmly.

 

Kisumi smiled, “You got this, baby brother. Don’t make me start over on you.” He looked up at Makoto, “I did this to him when he was really little. I thought he might… but it’s been so long since I’ve seen him. He might have forgotten me anyway.”

 

Makoto sat down next to Kisumi, trying to remain hopeful rather than sad. “I tried calling your mom this morning.”

 

Kisumi nodded, “And?”

 

“And I couldn’t reach her. As soon as she heard who I was, she hung up, then she blocked my work number.” Makoto watched Hayato wiped his hands off on his pants before slapping Kisumi hard on the cheek and pulling his hair.

 

“Ouch… Gentle.” Kisumi scolded. He shrugged at Makoto, “Yeah. That sounds like her. I could try to contact her, but… I mean, unless it’s a real emergency, I’d rather not. Honestly, you’d be better off just leaving Hayato here without her. Maybe they’ll forget each other eventually.”

 

Makoto shook his head, “I can’t do that. Without your mom as a contact, I can’t give Hayato more than basic medical attention if there were some problem, I can’t take him into the eye doctor, which we really need to do, and if we’re thinking really far into the future, he won’t be able to re-enroll next year. That means we’ll have no where to put him except-” Makoto stopped himself. It was probably inappropriate to discuss such things with Hayato’s brother.

 

“Except what?” Kisumi pushed.

 

“Except…” Makoto’s voice was quiet, “Except with child services.”

 

“I see.” Kisumi nodded solemnly as Hayato tried to pry open his mouth.

 

“Yeah… Do you know… I mean- Your father? Do you know where he is?” Makoto asked awkwardly.

 

“Oh.” Kisumi darkened. “I wouldn’t try that.”

 

“Are you sure?” Makoto pleaded, “It’s really important that Hayato retains some connection with one of his legal guardians. If not for medical purposes, than for his own mental wellbeing. I’m afraid-”

 

“Makoto, shut up.” Kisumi snapped. “It won’t work with our dad, I promise. The fact that he hasn’t said anything to you yet is a blessing, trust me. And I know you haven’t spoken to him because you actually suggested he get involved with Hayato’s life. If you had met him, you would know how ridiculous and horrible that sounds.”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened. “Oh. Okay.” He looked down, embarrassed.

 

Kisumi sighed, “Sorry. Just… what if… I’ll see if I can talk to my grandmother. She’s the only person I know still in contact with my mom. She’s pretty smart. Maybe she’ll be able to… I don’t know, convince mom to pass guardianship to me? My grandmother’s too old to do it herself.” Kisumi’s lip trembled, and his eyes looked pink. He whispered, “I’ll figure something out.” Hayato managed to stick his pointer finger in Kisumi’s mouth. Kisumi bit it, and Hayato pulled away, looking offended.

 

Makoto didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t the kind of situation he had any real experience with. He wished he knew more about what was actually happening with the Shigino’s parents, but it felt wrong to press any further. They sat in silence for nearly five minutes before Makoto spoke. “Kisumi… what is your life like right now?” It was an odd question, but Makoto wasn’t sure of a better way to phrase it.

 

Kisumi seemed to get it. “I live about forty minutes away from this school by car. My dad wanted me to go back to the family fishing business, but I couldn’t live with them anymore, so… Right now I work at a small hospital on the outskirts of Tokyo.”

 

_Right._ “I forgot you were in nursing. You know, you might be the best thing that could happen to Hayato.”

 

Kisumi smiled weakly. “Think so? I’m afraid I won’t be able to do much for him.”

 

“I think you should.” Makoto decided, “If you can, I think you should become Hayato’s legal guardian. At the very least, you’ll be there to sign the papers to keep him in school.”

 

Kisumi nodded nervously, “Yeah. Yeah, alright. I’ll call my grandmother and see what I can do. Although…” A flash of fear crossed his face, “Makoto, if she comes to this place… If she won’t give him up…”

 

“It’ll be fine.” Makoto reassured. “Dealing with parents is my job. Remember Haru’s mom?”

 

“Yeah…” Kisumi agreed warily. “Okay.” He turned to Hayato, “Hey, little brother. You’re gonna be okay. Promise.” Kisumi pinched Hayato’s nose. Hayato licked his hand. “Yeah. You be good, okay? Listen to Makoto-sensei, and try really hard to learn to talk, okay? Makoto-sensei knows a lot about people who are deaf and blind. He’ll be a great teacher for you.” Kisumi stood up, smiling down at Makoto, “I’ll see you later. We should go out again sometime. With Haru too, of course. I had fun.”

 

“Yeah, me too. See you around, Kisumi.” Makoto smiled back.

 

“Later.” Kisumi winked, and walked out the door.

 

If he could be the one in charge of Hayato… That would be ideal. He was probably Hayato’s best option in life, and Kisumi didn’t seem to hate the idea, at least. His life seemed stable, and he really cared about his brother. Hopefully, everything would go smoothly with his grandmother, and the focus could be returned to Hayato’s language acquisition. At this point, Makoto would just have to wait and see.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Kyoani, for the wonderful gift of Shigino Kisumi. He is the best.


	5. Chapter 5

The weekend came as a relief. The children were great, but completely draining. Makoto groaned in annoyance as the alarm clock buzzed loudly, and shook the bed just enough to the point where he couldn’t relax.

 

Haru huffed too, grabbing Makoto by the shirt and pulling him back down into bed. “It’s Saturday. Don’t get up.”

 

“Too late, I’m awake.” Makoto stretched, back popping wonderfully. “Let’s make french toast.”

 

Haru opened his eyes skeptically, “Really?”

 

“Yeah. Sure.” Makoto pulled Haru up by his arms while Haru put in zero effort to help.

 

“Fine. Carry me.” Haru held out his arms.

 

Sighing, Makoto grabbed him and tossed him on his back, carrying him out of the bedroom and dumping him roughly on the couch. “Okay, there. Let’s make breakfast.”

 

The rest of the day was spent doing practically nothing, although they did go down to the pool for a while. That was the same as every day, though, so it didn’t even count as ‘doing something.’ All the while, Makoto was mentally preparing himself to go and be in a crowd of loud people, in a loud flashy building. After all, he _had_ promised Nagisa, and Haru didn’t really seem opposed to it… He seemed indifferent as usual.

 

The night came faster than expected, and pretty soon, Haru and Makoto were walking down to the train station, where Nagisa and Rei were already there- early for once.

 

“Same train!” Nagisa squealed, pulling them forward so they could all be next to each other. People always got out of their seats for Haru, so anyone with him got to stand next to the window.

 

They arrived at the place Nagisa had picked out a bit later. Even from outside, the music seemed loud, and Makoto felt a little nervous already. He glanced at Haru, who had his hand on his chest. _Yeah. They_ do _have high bass._ The doors opened, and Makoto’s vision was instantly clouded with smoke from a smoke machine. The place was mostly a bar, but there was a large area in the middle for people to dance, and a small stage covered in glitter where a band was playing live music.

 

Nagisa bounced on his toes for a moment before grabbing Rei by  the elbow and pulling him out to the dancefloor. Makoto had to admire his gumption. There weren’t many people on the dancefloor yet, and those who were were mostly just swaying slightly on their own. Nagisa on the other hand was rocking it. The most amazing thing was, he looked totally natural doing it. Nobody would dare question his right to be dancing as energetically as he was, even if he was the only one. Something about him just made it seem right. Makoto was a little jealous. If he even tried to do something like that, people would be staring and whispering all around him.

 

“Mako-chan!” He called, waving frantically, “Hurry up!”

 

Makoto nodded, not really wanting to scream over the music. He suddenly found it highly annoying that nobody else could sign. He smiled down at Haru, “Wanna dance?”

 

Haru shrugged.

 

Makoto lead him over to where Nagisa and Rei were. More people were joining in, drawn to Nagisa’s energy. He was like a magnet. With the rapidly forming crowd, Makoto found it was easy to disappear. Even though he was surrounded by people on all sides, jostling and bumping him, nobody stared and nobody noticed. He quickly forgot all his apprehensions and was thankful to Nagisa for dragging them out of the apartment. If even only just this once.

 

Lights flashed all around, throwing patterns on the floor, and across everyone’s faces. Stars, hearts, fireworks- it morphed continuously, not allowing Makoto to focus on anything for too long before something else was there. Makoto smiled. _I wonder what Haru’s feeling?_

 

*******

 

Haru’s eyes were wide, and flat, colorful lights slapping against them repeatedly, bleeding into each other until all he could see was a circle of color, occasionally broken by some dark form passing in front of him. Haru’s vision was now tunneled into about the size of his fist held a foot away from his face. The foggy edges of that circle contrasted sharply with the bright colors of the lights. He could see little tendrils of black swirling just at the corners, almost moving in time with the rhythm of the music that thumped violently in his chest.

 

“Wanna dance?” Makoto asked.

 

_Why not?_ Haru shrugged, allowing himself to be guided somewhere Makoto had apparently decided upon. The thumping in his chest got more violent, and a pressure hit his ears. They must be closer to the source of the music.

 

Makoto’s hands found Haru’s waist, pulling him closer. The floor was cement, and unfriendly to Haru’s touch. People appeared out of nowhere, nudging Haru’s shoulders and back. But the rhythm of the music felt good, like he was lying on his back in the ocean, being tossed by waves. Haru played with the hem around the neck of Makoto’s shirt. There was one seam in it that stood out as being a different texture. It was probably some accent that looked cool. It wasn’t elastic, so it didn’t serve a purpose. With his hands lingering around Makoto’s chest, Haru felt sudden vibrations. _Is he talking to someone? Tell me what you’re saying._ Haru thumped his fist against Makoto’s chest hard enough to disrupt the sound he was making.

 

“What?” Makoto asked.

 

“Tell me.” Haru scolded, annoyed.

 

“Ah, sorry. Waitress is taking orders. Want something?” Makoto’s hands were light and jumpy. Was he laughing?

 

“Whatever you’re having. Why are you laughing?” Haru frowned at him. He hated missing out on things.

 

“You hit me really hard! My voice broke.” Makoto explained.

 

_...What?_ “You’re voice _broke?”_ Could that happen? Were they really that fragile?

 

“Oh, it just sounded weird for a second. Don’t worry about it, it happens.”

 

_Oh. Okay._ Why the hell even use your voice if it was so unpredictable? Haru had never in his life had someone hit him hard enough that his hands stopped working. That would be _highly_ inconvenient. Didn’t the same thing happen when people with voices got sick? That seemed really dumb, and Haru was glad he didn’t have to deal with it.

 

Someone else tapped Haru on the shoulder. Haru scooted closer to Makoto, hoping whoever it was would go away.

 

“Nagisa.” Makoto explained.

 

“Oh. What does he want?” Haru turned in hopefully the right direction. It was hard to tell with all the people around.

 

Makoto reached over Haru’s shoulders, standing right behind him as he signed for Nagisa.

 

“The next band comes on in ten minutes. Want to find a table for a while?”

 

Sure enough, a moment later the rhythm died down to nothing, and Haru’s ears popped. He grabbed on to Makoto’s arm and walked with him somewhere away from where the sound had been coming from.

 

They sat down on stools with no backs. The seats were soft, and deflated slowly when you sat on them. The place they were sitting was dark, so Haru closed his eyes. “Hey.” He tapped Makoto, “What does this place look like?”

 

Makoto’s hands moved away momentarily as he moved to sit slightly behind Haru to describe it more effectively. He touched the top of Haru’s back below his neck. “Door here.” He dragged two fingers in a long streak from Haru’s left shoulder blade down a few inches. “Bar is here, with chairs along here-” He tapped alongside the bar several times, showing the chairs. “We’re here, three tables, us in the middle one.” Lower left corner. He continued counter clockwise, showing where the tables were. “Fire escape here.” Lower right. “Stage here, it’s covered in glitter and about three feet high.” He outlined a medium size stage mid-right. “More tables here.” Top right corner. “Dancing in the middle, lots of people with drinks.” The whole center of Haru’s back. _Pretty big place, then._ Makoto moved again to face Haru. “Lots of fog machines and lights. All the speakers are on the edge of the stage.”

 

Haru nodded, “It’s dark in this corner, right?”

 

“Blacklights.” Makoto clarified.

 

_...Blacklights??_ “There are lights that make things darker?” Haru asked incredulously. That didn’t seem right, he was pretty sure he would remember such a thing from when he could see better.

 

“No, they’re… They’re kind of bluish purple, I guess? They don’t do much except make white things glow.” Makoto stumbled a bit trying to explain.

 

“Okay…” Haru didn’t get it, but whatever. Not like it affected him.

 

“Drinks are here.” Makoto handed Haru a cold glass.

 

A few minutes later, the music thumped again, encouraging Makoto to pull Haru back over to the dancefloor. With alcohol in his system, the flashing lights seemed to swirl psychedelically, and Haru had to close his eyes against them. His balance was already poor without adding the confusion of blacklights or whatever was happening.

 

With his eyes closed, Haru found he didn’t mind places like this. There were lots of people around, but nobody was trying to talk to him. It was socially okay to cling onto Makoto for dear life as he tried not to let people push him over. There was music loud enough to affect him, and lights bright enough that he could notice them if he wanted to. The whole place was humming with movements and vibrations that constantly changed and combined, but in a rhythm that Haru could keep up with. The place smelled like alcohol and fog machine smoke, and even that was interesting. The layout of the room was simple as Makoto had described it, with most things gathered around the edges. It was easy to keep track of where he was, even if the stone ground told him nothing of the people around him. That didn’t even matter that much, since people here didn’t seem to worry about bumping into him. Everything swirled and jumped and shook in waves- all together, sometimes fast, sometimes slow.

 

Through all of it, Makoto was the one constant that kept things from becoming overwhelming. He held tightly to Haru, moving with him as one solid barrier, keeping him upright and holding back the flood of dancing bodies that would almost certainly have him on the floor in a second. Makoto felt safe, and Haru pressed in closer as the music rose in tempo, shuddering across the room with booming ferocity. Makoto kissed his forehead as Haru gripped tighter, feeling the whole room swell around them. The world was thunder and rolling waves, wrapped tight around Haru’s limited reach- intimate yet chaotic. Flashes of light hit Haru’s closed lids, and it seemed like lightning in the storm. His heart thumped rapidly, beating just slightly out of time with the tremors and roars of the music.

  
He was happy to be there, in that moment, surrounded on all sides by sensation, ignoring everything beyond what he could touch like it didn’t exist. Maybe it didn’t. But Haru didn’t care either way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few more interesting/relevant Usher Syndrome and Deafblindness notes:
> 
> Some types of Usher Syndrome cause you to have poor balance- usually if you have the type where your vision deteriorates young, like Haru.
> 
> "Drawing out" the layout of the room on someone's back is common, and you would usually do it the moment you walk in (or the soonest convenient moment after). You can also just use it as a tool to describe the immediate surroundings, not necessarily the whole room. eg., "Row of chairs to your right, lined up like so. Look out."
> 
> If you're a hired interpreter, you should explain how the room is set up, how many people there are, and also the general vibe of the place- since walking into a fast food restaurant vs. a really fancy place is really different. Both are restaurants, yet... If you can see and/or hear, you understand the different behavioral requirements just by walking in.
> 
> Also, you can draw out lots of other things on people's backs. Like sports. You can set up the field, and then explain all the details of the game as you watch it. It's pretty goddamn cool.
> 
> Anyway, happy new year, everyone! See you all again next year! ImI/


	6. Chapter 6

 

Almost a week later, Hayato wasn’t making much progress. Makoto had taken to sitting with him privately for an hour every day, working on understanding just one word. If that could be done… certainly the rest would come quickly. After all, every child craves language. Once the initial frustration passed, Hayato should begin to quickly acquire a large vocabulary on his own, fueled by curiosity.

 

“A, I, U, E, O.” Makoto spelled to an annoyed Hayato. He then folded Hayato’s hands to match the letters. “Good…” Makoto sighed. “Ka, Ki, Ku, Ke, Ko.” He spelled the next set, then copied it on Hayato again. They had done this three times a day for the past week. Makoto didn’t entirely see the point. He felt it was more important to teach Hayato the signs as related to objects, rather than the alphabet, but Yamada-san had insisted, so… “Ma, Mi, Mu, Me, Mo.”

 

There were so many letters in the alphabet… To expect Hayato to memorize them all without understanding what they were seemed ridiculous. They ran through the rest of the alphabet anyway, just so Makoto could say they did. Next, Makoto brought out three objects- A ball, a block, and a piece of paper. Three distinctly different shapes that Hayato should recognize without struggle. He had figured out the words on the first day.

 

“Ball.” Hayato signed when Makoto handed him the ball. “Block,” came next followed by, “School.”

 

_No, wait…_ Makoto corrected the slight movement difference that differentiated the words.

 

“Paper.” Hayato corrected himself, still pouting in annoyance.

 

The problem came when- Makoto handed him the block first.

 

“Ball.” Hayato announced.

 

_Again..?_ “Block.” Makoto corrected him.

 

“Block.” Hayato mimicked.

 

Makoto handed him the ball.

 

“Paper.” Hayato declared.

 

He always said the words in the same order. Makoto had made the mistake of teaching them in a repeating order, and now Hayato was convinced they had to go that way. Now, Regardless of what he was handed, he’d run through the cycle of “Ball, block, paper,” until Makoto gave up. Even when Makoto adjusted his hands, forcing him to sign the right word, Hayato would just continue the pattern from there as if they were playing a game of ‘keep going from where I start you.’ In other words, if Makoto made him sign ‘paper,’ Hayato would next sign ‘ball,’ regardless of the object he was given.

 

It’s not like Hayato wasn’t smart- he had figured out the words quickly enough, and even when Makoto introduced new signs, he’d copy them easily. The problem was, each new word taught was just added to the cycle.

 

Makoto added a toy train to the mix. Hayato understood this to mean, continue until word number four. “Ball, block, paper, train.” Hayato repeated dutifully, if scathingly.

 

Makoto thought about it, and skipped the next object in the cycle- a toy dinosaur. He instead handed Hayato a plastic cell phone.

 

“Dinosaur, ball, block, paper, train.” Hayato huffed.

 

Makoto shoved the cell phone back in his hands, and showed him the word for phone. Hayato growled.

 

_“Phone, ball, block, paper, train, dinosaur!”_ He insisted, shoving Makoto away.

 

_Fine. That’s enough for today._ Makoto tapped Hayato on the shoulder, then led him by the hand over to the craft table, where the kids were all playing with clay. He gave Hayato a piece, and sat down next to him to make sure he wasn’t going to eat it. Hayato had a bad habit of putting everything he could into his mouth. Whatever couldn’t fit was definitely going to be licked at least. It was an all-day concern of Makoto’s, and it unfortunately meant that the other kids didn’t get as much of his attention as they deserved. Yesterday, Hayato had nearly choked on a marble.

 

Sure enough, Hayato promptly stuck the clay in his mouth. Makoto pulled it away quickly, signing a firm “No!” into Hayato’s palm.

 

“Sensei!” A young girl raised her hand, “Bathroom!”

 

Makoto nodded, “Okay.” Since the bathroom was down the hall, he always took a bunch of kids at the same time, since someone always had to watch them. Their next bathroom break was supposed to be in five minutes, but Makoto figured it didn’t hurt to go early.

 

Makoto had a button that controlled the lights in the classroom. He clicked it twice, and the lights flickered. All the kids looked around for the source.

 

“Line up!” Makoto signed, “Bathroom break now.” He signed slowly and with simple words so that everyone could understand. A handful of kids rushed over, shoving and bumping each other until they stood in a line. Makoto picked Hayato up at the front of the line.

 

They walked down the hall. _Today has been a rough day…_ Makoto sighed to himself.

 

“Makoto!” A voice called out from down the hall.

 

Startled, Makoto looked around. It was strange to hear voices here, and his brain forgot to process where the sound had come from.

 

“This way! Hey!” Kisumi stood at the end of the hall, waving his hands.

 

“Oh! Kisumi. Hi, what are you doing here?” Makoto set Hayato down when they reached the bathrooms, and stepped aside so all the kids could go inside.

 

“I just came to visit my brother. Wow, you look exhausted.” Kisumi inspected Makoto’s face.

 

It was true, Makoto had noticed the slowly darkening circles under his eyes as well. Still, he was embarrassed to have it pointed out. “Oh… Yeah, I guess.” He blushed, trying to look away.

 

“Hey, if you want to take a break for a minute, I wouldn’t mind making sure all the kids get back to the classroom together. Go get some coffee or something, damn.” Kisumi frowned at Makoto.

 

“I can’t, I’m not supposed to let the kids out of my sight.” Makoto glanced at the door to the bathroom.

 

“Makoto, listen, I’ll _take them back._ Calm down, take a break, get some coffee. You’re no good to anybody if you die of exhaustion.” He put a hand on Makoto’s shoulder, “There’s another teacher in the classroom, right? If you’re worried about my _qualifications_ or something, rest assured they’ll only be under my supervision for about a minute.”

 

_Well, I guess that’s true…_ “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Kisumi.”

 

Kisumi shook his head, “No problem. Leave.”

 

Makoto smiled, throwing one more nervous glance at the bathroom door before taking off down the hall. He didn’t plan on taking too long a break, maybe just grab a snack from the kitchen, and a cup of coffee like Kisumi said.

 

He sighed, sitting down in an adult-sized chair for the first time that day. A couple other members of the staff were milling around, and one high school student that Makoto recognized from an announcement on the wall. She had the highest grade scores in the school, and was getting extra tutoring and special treatment because of it. She clutched a cup of coffee with a fully overwhelmed look in her eyes.

 

She glanced at Makoto, “When I grow up, I wanna be a hobo.”

 

Makoto laughed, “College is better, don’t worry. They’ll try to scare you, but it’s so much more fun, trust me.”

 

Her eyes widened with hope, “Really? Okay…” She smiled, and sipped her coffee calmer.

 

Makoto finished his break, and sighed when he stood back up, thinking about going back in there… His cell phone buzzed. Kisumi texted him?

 

“He’s ok- don’t worry.”

 

… What? Makoto was suddenly struck with fear. “What happened?” He yelled at his phone, like it might give him answers. He sprinted back to the classroom, and threw open the door to find… nothing wrong. Kisumi wasn’t there, but nothing seemed out of place. Makoto counted the children, “One, two, three, four, five… wait.” He scanned the room for a spot of fluffy pink hair. Oh no.

 

Makoto hit Kisumi’s number quickly, tapping his foot anxiously as it rang three times.

 

“Makoto.” Kisumi’s somber voice spoke out. “I’m really sorry, I can explain-”

 

“Where have you taken him?!” Makoto yelled.

 

“Calm down! I can’t say, but we’re headed somewhere safe. I talked to my grandmother, who spoke with my mom and…” He exhaled shudderingly, “She didn’t take the idea well. She may be on her way right now. Please don’t tell her I took him, the less she knows the better. Although… I know you’ll get in trouble if they think you’ve just lost him, so… Dammit, I really don’t like to ask this of you, but… If you could tell her it was my grandmother who took him that would really help me out. Ouch!” There was a loud thump, “Dammit, Hayato, cut it out. I’m so sorry, Makoto, I know it’s a lot of trouble.” He laughed, “Hayato likes to bite, huh? I’ll have to get him something safe to chew on.”

 

“Kisumi, this is kidnapping!” Makoto cried, conflicted. Suddenly, an awful thought struck him. “Hey… You don’t think…” He thought about it, “You don’t think your dad will show up, do you?”

 

There was a long moment of silence. “I can’t guarantee he won’t,” Kisumi began slowly, “But I can’t even be sure where he is right now, he may not even be in Japan. I’d say… hmm…” Another long pause, and the sound of car brakes being applied. “I’d say it’s unlikely, but definitely possible. If he does show up, don’t worry. He won’t hurt the kids, but I would deny even knowing me if I were you. My dad is definitely not my biggest fan. Of course, if he comes with my mom, you can’t exactly deny that…” he paused again. “Dammit. Umm… if that’s the case, just deny you’ve seen me since college. You’ll be fine, he probably won’t even show up.”

 

Makoto was panicking now. All these possibilities, and they all meant serious trouble for one of them. It was the worst possible moment, but Makoto’s phone beeped with another call. He glanced at the screen. Rin, so maybe Haru. He could wait.

 

“Okay. Kisumi, I…” Ugh, what should he do? _No, this shouldn’t be my problem. This isn’t something I’m able to handle, I should pass this to someone higher._ “I’m going to tell the lead teacher you took Hayato. Please tell me where you are.”

 

“What? No way! Dammit, Makoto, don’t do this! _Ouch! Stop it, Hayato!”_ He yelled. “Now I _especially_ can’t tell you where I am.”

 

Makoto’s phone beeped again. Rin was calling twice? What was going on? “Sorry, Kisumi, I have to go. Please…” Makoto didn’t know what he was asking for. “Please be careful,” he decided, hanging up and switching to Rin’s call. “What?” He answered bluntly.

 

“Jesus, aren’t you perky as a princess?” Rin scoffed, “You need to come home.”

 

_No, Not right now!_ “I can’t, I’m at work and-”

 

“No, I’m serious.” Rin cut him off, “I’m taking Haru to the hospital.”

 

Makoto went cold. “W-what?!” His hands and voice both trembled.

 

“He can’t see.”

 

“He’s blind!”

 

“No, he _can’t fucking see.”_ Rin emphasized. “Nothing. Zero percent. Total blackness. Get home _now.”_

 

“Ghaaaaaahhh!!!” Makoto screamed as loud as he could, sincerely hoping that _every person_ in the entire school would hear him.

 

“Dammit, shit, _what?!”_ Rin screamed back. “Calm down, Haru’s probably not-”

 

“Kisumi kidnapped Hayato and now his mom’s coming down here and maybe his potentially dangerous dad, and I’m probably about to lose my job, and I have to go explain this mess to my boss, and NOW MY BOYFRIEND’S GOING TO THE HOSPITAL AND I CAN’T EVEN GO THERE TO SUPPORT HIM BECAUSE MY MOST UNSTABLE STUDENT IS MISSING! GOD DAMN IT!” Makoto yelled at the top of his lungs, sobbing into the phone until his voice was hoarse and hurt.

 

There was a long silence from Rin’s side. Finally, “Shigino?”

 

“Yes, fucking Shigino! Every single person in that family has given me a headache!” Beyond frustrated, Makoto was even angry at Hayato.

 

Another pause from Rin. “Okay.” He said quietly, “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. Let me take Haru to the hospital, you deal with this and meet me there when you can. Sound good?”

 

Makoto was hyperventilating. His chest hurt, and his heart was beating frantically. “No, no, Rin, you can’t. I- I have to…”

 

“Makoto, it’s okay.” Rin’s voice was _too_ calming. It was annoying. “Take a deep breath, it’s going to work itself out. Focus on the Shigino kid, okay? Talk to your boss, explain the situation and don’t freak out.”

 

“Put Haru on the phone.” Makoto commanded.

 

Rin paused, “I want you to think about what you just asked me.”

 

“Dammit!” Makoto pulled his hair, “What’s wrong with me?”

 

“It’s okay, you’re just really stressed,” Rin reassured. “Deep breath. I’m going to hang up now.”

 

“No!” Makoto cried desperately, “No, Rin, don’t leave-”

 

“Tachibana-san!” Yamada-san approached, looking at Makoto with concern, “What’s the problem? Where is Shigino-kun?”

 

“I’ll talk to you later, Makoto.” Rin assured, “Good luck.”

  
Makoto couldn’t breathe. He clutched his silent phone in one hand, and looked at Yamada-san with wide, panicked eyes. He stuck the phone in his pocket, hands shaking as he tried to explain, “H-he’s… His brother t-took him away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sa, Shi, Su, Se, So much drama. ImI/


	7. Chapter 7

 

Makoto shrunk under the glare of his boss.

 

“His brother _took him?!”_ She scowled, “That’s not allowed!”

 

Makoto nodded, “I know. I didn’t give him permission, he just took him. He was afraid-”

 

“Is he hearing? Can you call him from his car?” Her nostrils flared in anger, “This is very upsetting.”

 

“I already called him, he’s afraid his mother was going to come and take Hayato away, I think.” Makoto tried to explain.

 

“I don’t _care_ what his mother does! Shigino-kun is _her_ responsibility, not the older brother’s. This is your fault for not monitoring the children better. I expect you to resolve this immediately, and contact Shigino-kun’s mother to explain and apologize.” She stared menacingly.

 

Makoto nodded, “Yes. Of course. I will. Excuse me.” He pulled out his phone, redialing Kisumi’s number.

 

Again, he answered on the third ring “Makoto.”

 

“Please come back.” Makoto begged, turning his back to Yamada-san.

 

“No. Stop asking.” Kisumi sighed, “There’s nothing I can do to-”

 

“Haru’s in the hospital.” Makoto interrupted, “I need to go help, and I _can’t_ because I’m stuck here dealing with _this.”_

 

“What happened?! Dammit, I’m really sorry about all this…”

 

“You should be!” Makoto cried, “Now _I_ have to deal with your mom!”

 

Silence. Finally, Kisumi sighed, “Okay. I have an idea.”

 

“Thank god, what?” Makoto’s chest swelled with hope.

 

“I’m going to drop Hayato off at a friend’s house. I’ll call my mom and get her to meet me… I don’t know, somewhere public. At least she won’t go to the school that way.” There was a loud bang, “Tch, I had those organized… You’re a pain…” Hayato wailed in the background. “Sound good?”

 

“No!” Makoto protested, “I still get in trouble because Hayato isn’t here!”

 

“Well, that’s just a bummer, isn’t it, Makoto? Deal with that much on your own.” Kisumi huffed.

 

“What about your dad?”

 

“...Shit. Yeah, let’s just pray he doesn’t show up. Gotta go, Hayato knocked my CDs over on himself and he’s all confused… See you soon.” He hung up.

 

Makoto felt like crying.

 

*******

 

Haru sat in the waiting room of the hospital, concurrently bored and stressed out. He felt like things were going to slam into him constantly. Even the light behind his closed lids was gone. _Can this even happen? I thought it would just fade out slowly…_ He had spent years mentally preparing himself for the eventuality of being fully blind. It had seemed to progress faster over the last two or so years than it had before, though… He figured it was probably just exponential, but… For it to suddenly go out like this… Would it come back? Sometimes there were days where he could see less or more, so maybe it would be back tomorrow. He kept touching his eyelids out of the nagging idea that maybe he had just forgotten how to open them. No matter how many times he confirmed it for himself, it was still hard to accept.

 

“They called your name.” Rin took his arm and lead him through a door. The floor texture changed from slightly sticky to smooth. They must clean more often in this place.

 

“Hello, Haruka, I’m your interpreter.” A pair of cold, unfamiliar hands met his.

 

“Why?” Haru frowned, “Rin’s an interpreter.”

 

“I thought someone with medical interpreting experience would be better.” Rin explained.

 

“I like you better, though.” Haru edged closer to Rin.

 

“Don’t be rude, she works at my agency.” Rin scolded. “Go talk to the doctor now, she’s right in front of you, and she looks annoyed.”

 

The interpreter put a hand on Haru’s shoulder, “We’re headed into a door to your left, then there are two chairs to your immediate right, and a patient table to your left in front of you.”

 

Haru let Rin show him where to go anyway.

 

There followed a short explanation to the doctor, followed by a long wait while she left to get an eye specialist.

 

Haru wasn’t sure if it was the stress or his inability to see, but keeping his bearings was becoming an issue. He was pretty sure that if he tried to stand up, he’d just fall over. The eye doctor touched his face, and pulled his eyelids. The interpreter tried to explain what Rin was telling the doctor around all the commotion.

 

“His ears aren’t an issue. He’s never been able to hear. He has Usher Syndrome type 1. Type _1,_ are you even a doctor? He was born profoundly deaf, and his eyesight’s been deteriorating since he was eight. He couldn’t walk for forever because his balance is off.”

 

“And there are no accelerating factors? No injuries that may have caused the sudden loss of all vision?” The doctor apparently said. Haru wasn’t sure he trusted this interpreter.

 

“No. Quit asking me, do your own medical analysis.” Rin said. Maybe this interpreter _wasn’t_ so bad.

 

*******

 

Makoto nervously dialed Mrs. Shigino’s contact number from the office.

 

She picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

 

“H-hello. This is Tachibana Makoto of Meisei Gakuen. Am I speaking to-”

 

“Tachibana-san. This is Mrs. Shigino. What’s the matter, is my son okay?” She sounded concerned for someone who had abandoned her child the way she had.

 

“He’s f- He’s… Your son Shigino Kisumi has taken him off campus without our permission.” He had to ask, “I’m calling to confirm that this is alright with you.”

 

There was silence. “Of course. I told him to take his brother out for a bit. I’m sorry he didn’t confirm this with you before hand.”

 

Makoto had to go back and replay what he had heard. “He… um… O-Okay. That’s good. Ah… What’s his expected return time?” This was surreal.

 

“Tomorrow morning if that’s alright by you. Again, so sorry for the confusion. I just thought my boys needed some bonding time!” She _giggled._

 

“Yes… Alright, thank you for the confirmation, I’ll expect Hayato-kun tomorrow. Goodbye.”

 

“Goodbye!” She hung up.

 

Makoto just stood holding the phone off the hook, dumbstruck. Was it really as simple as that? Was Kisumi lying, or mistaken? Could this really all just be a misunderstanding?

 

He dialed Kisumi’s number. He picked up on the third ring. “Makoto! You sure are chatty today. Hold on, my mom’s pulling up. We’re at a coffee shop. Oh yeah, I found someone to watch Hayato.”

 

“Your mom just said she gave you permission to take Hayato away for the night.” Makoto informed him, “I was just on the phone with her a few seconds ago.”

 

Kisumi paused, “Oh… Okay, that’s a relief. Maybe I can- Hi, mom! Oh, sorry about this it’s a work call, it’s on mute. Thanks for letting me take Hayato, I really thought he could use-...” There was a break, and some garbled speech from Mrs. Shigino. “Grandma said that? She’s so crazy, oh my god… No way, Hayato’s your kid. I don’t want him. Grandma told me you said I could take him. Is that true?” Pause, “Okay, good, I thought so. No, he’s not in the car, he’s on a play date. You can’t just leave kids in the car, mom, you taught me that. Hey, do you know where dad is?” Another pause.

 

Makoto’s confusion grew with each word spoken. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure which of them was lying. Or… maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he passed out from all the stress, and this was just one really crazy dream.

 

“Oh, he’s going to visit Meisei tonight?” Kisumi spoke loudly so Makoto would pay attention. “Just to check out the school, right? I know how much you guys care about education. Oh, shit, I gotta take this call. Stay right there, I’ll be back in a second. I’ll get you some coffee, you like it cream, no sugar? Awesome, be right back.” The sound of footsteps and a door opening and closing. The sound got clearer in what must have been the coffee shop’s interior. “Makoto. I’m back. You heard all that, right?”

 

Makoto nodded before remembering Kisumi couldn’t see him through the phone. “Yeah. What just happened?”

 

“Ah, my mom’s kinda weird. It’s all good with her now, though. This gives me until tomorrow morning to hide Hayato as best I can. My dad’s coming to Meisei. So… good luck with that. At least you can tell him you had permission to release Hayato now. Two medium drips, please. Thanks. And, Makoto, remember you’re just a regular employee. You don’t know me, and you don’t know the situation, okay? Look confident. He’ll be nice if you’re confident. Well, maybe.” He sighed.

 

Makoto had so many questions he wasn’t sure how to ask. “Did you just… who was… So, you lied to her?”

 

“Pft, no. Well…” Kisumi sighed again, “She lied to herself, mostly. Don’t worry about it, I know how she works.”

 

“Okay… I guess I’ll talk to you tonight, Kisumi.” Makoto frowned.

 

“Yeah. Later.” Kisumi hung up.

 

Makoto walked slowly back to his classroom to explain the situation to Yamada-san. If he could even figure out the situation himself…

 

*******

 

On the ride home from the hospital, Haru was frustrated. They had gained no answers, and the only thing the doctor had done was prescribe a regimen of heavy vitamin A pills that were only supposed to slow the decline of his vision, if by some chance it came back.

 

Haru didn’t want to walk, or move, or do anything at all that required effort. Well- actually, he really wanted to go swimming. However, Rin had insisted it was of higher priority to go back to his apartment and make sure Haru could still find everything without his eyesight. Probably, Haru was just going to go home and crawl into bed to wait for Makoto to get home. He didn’t want to deal with real life things at the moment.

 

Stepping out of the car, Rin couldn’t even talk to him because he was on the phone with the doctors still, scheduling another appointment with some specialist. Honestly, Haru was ready to give up. At most, he would have another couple years of his already minimal vision before it was gone completely and forever. He didn’t really get why they needed to try so hard. It’s not like he was going to die…

 

That said, Haru felt like someone was pushing on his chest with one really strong hand. The other hand was almost certainly flipping him off. He hadn’t realized exactly how much he would miss his vision before it was gone. Now that it was, he wondered if maybe he should have spent more time with his eyes open. It didn’t matter anymore.

 

“Quit looking so dejected.” Rin pulled him inside the apartment. “You’re bumming me out. You’re not allowed to give up hope yet, it’s only been a day.”

 

Haru shrugged.

 

“Alright, sadsack, show me what’s inside your refrigerator. I want you to do some cooking. Maybe it’ll cheer you up and also I’m really hungry.” He let go of Haru’s hand and gave him his cane. “Go do stuff before you go crazy.”

 

*******

 

Makoto dialed Rin’s number. With the situation momentarily under control at Meisei, his attention and anxiety was returned to Haru.

 

“You are a lucky man, Makoto.” Rin picked up the phone.

 

“Why, is Haru pregnant?” He collapsed into his favorite chair in the breakroom, feeling a thousand times lighter just by the sound of Rin’s joking voice.

 

“What? No. Weird. No. He’s an excellent cook is what I was _going_ to say, but now you’ve made me picture pregnant Haru, and everything tastes wrong now.” Rin huffed. “Things must be going well there, though. You’re joking.”

 

“Hmm…” Makoto hummed noncommittally. “I got a break. Is Haru okay?”

 

“Um…” Rin hesitated. “Physically? Ish. He’s still completely blind, so… Emotionally? I think he needs a hug.”

 

“Okay. Tell him… Ah, no, nevermind. Tell him I said ‘I love you, and I’ll bring home extra mackerel.’” Makoto rubbed his eyes.

 

“Got it. Come home soon. His cooking is delicious, but sadness is not a satisfactory seasoning. Also, he’s trying to eat mashed potatoes with his hands because he can’t figure out where his food is on the plate. It’s bumming me out. Fix him.”

 

“Yeah. Later, Rin. Thanks for… you know. Everything.”

 

“‘Course. It’s Haru, this is what I do. I’m probably going to be at your place for a while, so… Can I use your computer? I have to work the phones…” Rin groaned. It was his least favorite part of interpreting, but it was convenient and it paid.

 

“Sure. Bye.”

 

Rin hung up.

  
Maybe Mr. Shigino would show up after Makoto had already left. Maybe Kisumi would bring Hayato back tomorrow, and the problem would go away. Maybe Haru would… No, Haru couldn’t. Best not to focus on that issue at the moment. Maybe Hayato would figure words out soon. Maybe Kisumi would get custody. Maybe Mrs. Shigino would… something. Anything. Maybe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sad now. i actually made myself sad. halp


	8. Chapter 8

Makoto was expecting it. He sat anxiously for an hour, staring at the door to his classroom, hoping desperately and in vain that the next person to open it would be Shigino _Kisumi_ and not-

 

“Shigino Atsushi. This is my son’s classroom, correct?”

 

Huh. Makoto certainly wasn’t expecting _this._

 

Shigino Atsushi was short in stature, wore a bright blue shirt, and had a huge smile.

 

“Yes. Hello, I’m Tachibana Makoto, your son’s instructor. I’m afraid-” Makoto took a step forward.

 

“Please, I’m already well aware of the situation. It’s just that…” He took a step towards Makoto and whispered, “Do you mind if we talk somewhere private?”

 

Makoto glanced around at the room full of deaf students, “Sure… Um, the office is this way if that would…”

 

“Yes, thank you. That would be perfect.” He flashed a perfect set of white teeth Makoto’s way.

 

Uncertainly, Makoto lead Mr. Shigino towards the office. _Is this really the man Kisumi warned me about?_

 

As soon as the door was closed, Mr. Shigino started talking. “You see, the problem is, I’ve lost my son’s phone number, and I just can’t seem to figure out how to reach him. If I could talk to him, I’m sure this whole mess would be cleared up in a moment.”

 

Suddenly, Makoto was nervous. “Um… I don’t believe we have your son’s phone number on file, since he’s not Hayato-kun’s legal guardian.”

 

“Oh.” Mr. Shigino nodded, “Well, lucky you’ve got it programed into your cell phone, Tachibana-san.”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened, “I- I’m sorry, I-”

 

“Please, I already know you know him. I speak to my son every day, he tells me about everyone he socializes with.” Mr. Shigino smiled, “You recently visited a bar with my eldest and a… What was the name… Haruka? I’ve heard many stories.”

 

_How does he know that? Why did he know about all that?_ “I- I don’t…” Makoto stammered.

 

“Please, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Ah, it’s a habit of mine. I always seem to put things the wrong way. I do apologize.” He twisted his hands.

 

“I… It’s just…” Makoto didn’t know what to say. He sighed, “You said you talk to your son every day? You don’t have his phone number?”

 

“Oh, I talk to him in person. I’m not one for impersonal contact such as cell phones. But please, I won’t even put the number into my own phone. If I could even borrow yours, I could reach my son.” He begged.

 

“I don’t have it.” Makoto lied.

 

“Please.” Mr. Shigino looked bereft.

 

“I don’t feel comfortable giving it out.” Makoto admitted.

 

“I’m his _father,_ Tachibana-san. I can assure you it’s of no concern to Kisumi’s well being.” He gestured at the phone protruding from Makoto’s pocket.

 

Makoto considered his options. On the one hand, Kisumi _had_ told him to be careful around Mr. Shigino. Of course, on the other hand… Something was really strange about the Shigino family, and Makoto wasn’t sure who to believe anymore. Had Kisumi been lying this whole time? Mr. Shigino seemed nice enough, and he _did_ seem to be talking to Kisumi regularly. He even knew about Haru. Also, it had been Kisumi who tricked him into leaving Hayato alone with him in the first place. So, Kisumi hadn’t been exactly _honest_ the whole time. Really, Makoto had more reason to trust Mr. Shigino than he did Kisumi. So… Should he just do what Mr. Shigino said? More importantly, if Kisumi was lying, was Hayato potentially in danger?

 

“I have his number. On moment.” Makoto searched the name in his phone. It seemed the safest option. If Kisumi was telling the truth, then simply letting Mr. Shigino borrow his phone couldn’t hurt him in any way.

 

“Thank you very much.” Mr. Shigino bowed slightly. “I’m very concerned about my youngest child. Hayato hates being in strange places.”

 

At least that much was true. Makoto handed Mr. Shigino his phone, and Mr. Shigino grinned, “Thank you again, Tachibana-san. Please excuse me for a moment.” He exited the office, hitting the dial button.

 

Makoto just stood there in confusion. _What’s the matter with this family? None of them have the same story. Not even Mr. and Mrs. Shigino,_ Makoto realized. If Mrs. Shigino really _had_ given Kisumi permission to take Hayato, Mr. Shigino shouldn’t be worried about it. “Why is this happening…?” Makoto groaned, holding his head as it started to pound. He really didn’t want to be thinking about the Shiginos at the moment. He just wanted to go home and be with Haru. “Man… Haru…” Maybe he should just give the Shiginos up as a lost cause. _But I can’t do that._ Makoto sighed, _I can’t because of Hayato, and I can’t because I’ll lose my job._

 

He felt like someone had beaten on the side of his head with a hammer.

 

Mr. Shigino walked back into the room, looking worried, “Thank you very much for your help, Tachibana-san. I really feel awful asking for anything more, but… I’m afraid my son won’t speak to me. I’m very concerned about Kisumi’s health at this point, since there have been some problems in the past. I know you two are friends, so… I don’t suppose there’s any way he’d let you meet with him? If that were the case, and there was a way you could let me know where Kisumi has taken Hayato… Ah, I’m sure that’s too much to ask, excuse me.”

 

Makoto shifted his weight, “Ah… That might put me in an uncomfortable situation…”

 

“Of course, please forgive me.” Mr. Shigino nodded. “But, if you were to meet up with Kisumi, could you at least tell him something for me?”

 

_Well… I suppose just that much couldn’t hurt._ “Okay…”

 

“Just let him know we have a place set up for Hayato with his grandmother. Kisumi and his grandmother don’t get along very well, but… I’m sure he’ll understand. You needn’t make a decision now, just let me give you my phone number, and if you feel that this is something you could do for Hayato, just give me a call and I’ll explain to you the situation so you can be better informed.” He pulled out a business card, “Just call me at this number, my wife and I would greatly appreciate your trouble.” He bowed deeply.

 

“Ah… I…” Makoto took the card awkwardly, not sure if he should say thanks or not in this situation. He decided against it. “I’ll just… Yeah. I’ll think about it.”

 

“Please. Thank you so much for all you’ve done so far for both my sons and me. I’m very grateful.” He smiled up at Makoto with watery eyes.

 

_Maybe I should just decide to trust him and see what happens. I don’t think I can take much more of this ‘who’s lying?’ thing._ Makoto smiled back, putting the card on the desk behind him. _That’s what I’ll do. Mr. Shigino seems nice, and Kisumi’s clearly handling this wrong even if he’s the… ‘good one,’ or whatever._ Mr. Shigino knows what he’s doing, I’m sure of it. The weight felt lifted off of Makoto’s shoulders. Believing Mr. Shigino suddenly made a lot of sense. The reason Kisumi had talked so badly about him- to make his trustworthy father into the vilain. The reason Kisumi had done this in the first place- he had mentioned something about health problems in the past? That seemed to fit. Makoto was certain that Kisumi had lied to him and tricked him at least once. For now, that was enough reason to mistrust Kisumi, and listen to Mr. Shigino. Makoto sighed with relief.

 

“I’ll give you a call if I’m going to be seeing Kisumi soon,” Makoto promised.

 

“Oh! Thank you so much! You don’t know how much that means to me.” Mr. Shigino clapped his hands. “If there’s anything I can do for you, don’t hesitate to let me know.” He smiled warmly.

 

“Don’t mention it.” Makoto smiled back, “I think I can understand the challenges of having someone who is deaf and blind in your family. I’m sure you know that Haruka is too, and I’ve learned a lot since we’ve been together.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure!” Mr. Shigino chuckled, “I’ve learned plenty from raising Hayato. It’s not all bad, is it? There’s so many doors that can be opened from living with this disability. You’re already fully there, I see, but I’ve been trying to learn the sign language alphabet. It’s very difficult, isn’t it? I don’t have a brain for language, but I’m certainly trying my best. Is Haruka well? Getting along fine in life?”

 

Makoto hesitated, “In general, yes… but actually, Haruka’s just gotten back from the hospital, so I really should be getting home as soon as possible. I’d like to be there as support.”

 

Mr. Shigino’s eyes widened dramatically, “Please! You’d better get right on home, then. I’ll confirm with the main office that everything’s been settled for today. Definitely, attend to your own domestic crises before those of your neighbor. I hope Hayato will find someone as caring as you are to Haruka someday.”

 

Makoto blushed, “Oh… Well, thank you. And I’ll definitely let you know when everything’s settled at home so I can meet up with Kisumi. I wouldn’t want Hayato to suffer from all of this confusion.”

 

Mr. Shigino nodded, “Very well. I suppose I’ll speak to you soon, then, Tachibana-san.” He stepped out the door, calling over his shoulder, “And I wish Haruka the best of luck with recovery! She’s a very lucky lady to have you.”

 

The door swung closed behind him, and all the weight came crashing back down on Makoto’s shoulders.

 

_Surely…_ He thought. _Surely if he had been talking to Kisumi about Haru…_ He would know that Haru’s a boy.

  
He picked up Mr. Shigino’s business card from the desk behind him, staring at the phone number in shock. Had he really just been lied to again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Makoto is not having fun in this detective story.
> 
> I am.
> 
> I love detective stories.
> 
> (I'm still crying about Death Note.)
> 
> I'll fix it... Makoto is not a detective, and he doesn't like thinking about this kind of thing. :( 
> 
> Also Haru. I gotta deal with Haru.


	9. Chapter 9

 

Makoto arrived home with two grocery bags full of ingredients for Haru’s favorite dishes. He set them on the kitchen counter, and flicked the lights a couple times so Haru would know he was home.

 

But Haru didn’t answer.

 

Oh. Right.

 

Haru was lying face down on the couch, with the blankets from the bedroom cocooned around him. He had on headphones that played music so loud that Makoto could hear each individual word from across the room.

 

“Haru…” Makoto gently laid a hand on his back, but Haru still flinched horribly. “Sorry!” Makoto said out loud.

 

“Makoto? You’re home?” Haru sat up groggily, detangling himself from blankets. “Hi.”

 

“Hey.” Makoto looked at him with concern, trying to help detangle the bedheaded mess in front of him. “Are you okay?”

 

Haru swallowed, “Not really.”

 

Makoto nodded. “Okay. That’s fine. Do you want to swim, or..?”

 

Haru shook his head.

 

“Okay. Can I…” Makoto didn’t know what to offer.

 

Haru shook his head again. “I don’t want anything. Just…” He shrugged.

 

“Alright.” Makoto sat there awkwardly, holding on to Haru’s hands. For a solid two minutes, they didn’t say anything.

 

“Makoto, I can’t see.” Haru finally said.

 

“Yeah.” Makoto agreed.

 

“So I can’t see my clothes, or colors, or water, or _you…”_ Haru’s lip trembled. “I don’t know how…”

 

Makoto didn’t know what to say. He just pulled Haru into a hug, closing his own green eyes right along with the blue ones. “I’m so sorry…” He whispered.

 

After all these years, Haru had built up his self-esteem and his capabilities. He had learned not only to live with his disability, but to thrive with it. He had become immersed in the culture of the Deaf and the Blind, and he had accepted that one day his remaining vision would fade out completely. So now… To see him so clearly heartbroken…  But it was understandable. While this was not the end of Haru’s life, nor his happiness, it was the end of an era. The time in Haru’s life where he would experience color and light was over, _and maybe,_ Makoto rationalized, _grieving for his loss is healthy. Maybe I just need to wait this out with him, while we just try to get through it. Maybe searching for positives is the wrong approach._ There was really no way of fixing it, and it seemed insensitive to try to pull Haru out of this misery so abruptly.

 

“It sucks, doesn’t it?” Makoto empathized, “It really does.”

 

“Yeah.” Haru nodded firmly, “It does.”

 

“Things are going to be different now.”

 

“Yeah.” Haru nodded again, “I’m going to have to re-figure out a lot of stuff.”

 

“Yeah,” Makoto patted his shoulder, trying to remember to give plenty of contact feedback. “And that’s probably going to be rough at first.”

 

Haru shrugged, “Probably. I might…” He hesitated, looking uncomfortable. “I might have to ask you to help me with a few more things…”

 

“That’s fine by me,” Makoto reassured. “You know I love you, right?”

 

Haru smiled. “Yeah. That’s what I told you.”

 

“The first time you said you loved me?” Makoto nodded, remembering. “Before you left school.”

 

“I didn’t know how to say it properly.” Haru smirked, “So I just asked.”

 

“I didn’t mind.” Makoto smiled, “I was just so shocked you said anything. I almost didn’t say it back I was so thrown.”

 

“I’m glad you did.” Haru blushed slightly, looking away.

 

“Me too.” Makoto brushed the hair out of Haru’s closed eyes.

 

Haru twitched, fumbling with his fingers. “...Really?”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened slightly, “What? Of course! I love you so much, Haru.”

 

Haru opened his eyes, but they didn’t quite meet Makoto’s in the same way they had just yesterday. They looked lifeless now. “Even with all this? It’s really worth it?”

 

Makoto thought his heart might break as he searched for something- anything- in Haru’s eyes and found nothing there. Two dull blue rings surrounding huge black pupils that sat frozen in their sockets, having nothing to look towards.

 

“Of _course.”_ Makoto said emphatically, “Of _course_ you’re worth it. Haru…” Makoto wanted to cry. “You’re… You’re the best person I’ve ever known. I _love_ you, do you get that? I really do.”

 

Haru nodded, looking down as he quickly shut his eyes again, “Okay.”

 

“Okay nothing. Haru, take my hands.” Makoto pulled Haru’s hands back towards himself as Haru tried to shirk away. “I want you to tell me that you know I love you.”

 

Haru squirmed. “Yeah…”

 

“Say it.” Makoto commanded.

 

Haru’s eyebrows drew together tightly, “I know you love me.”

 

“How much do I love you?” Makoto pushed.

 

Haru shrugged.

 

“Come on.” Makoto coaxed.

 

“A lot?”

 

“Damn right a lot.” Makoto confirmed, tapping Haru’s legs firmly. “I wouldn’t change anything, Haru. Okay?”

 

Haru sniffed, hiding his face, “Okay…”

 

“Let’s go cook or something, okay? I don’t like seeing you curled up on the couch like this.” Makoto pulled Haru to his feet.

 

“I’m not hungry…” Haru complained.

 

“Okay. But I got an entire grocery bag of just mackerel.” Makoto pulled him a little closer to the kitchen.

 

Haru’s face twisted in what looked like a very heated internal debate. “Mmm…”

 

“Come on. Also pineapple and cream sauce,” Makoto tempted, pulling Haru another step closer.

 

“Mmm…” Haru frowned deeper.

 

“Haru. Come one.” Makoto pulled his hand one more time, and Haru gave in, trudging after Makoto into the kitchen, bare feet slapping loudly against the wooden floor.

 

“Fine.” Haru sighed, “But I’m gonna complain.”

 

“That’s fine.” Makoto smiled, “It’s fine to complain sometimes.” He handed Haru the grocery bags and stepped back to let him sort through them, offering explanations when needed.

 

Haru seemed to calm down as he started cooking. He stuck his hands in the cans of mackerel, letting the juice run over his fingers into the frying pan.

 

Haru audibly sighed as it started to heat up, filling the room with his favorite aroma.

 

Makoto smiled, not really capable of assisting in any way, but just really happy that Haru was feeling a little better.

 

Even though things were probably going to be a bit difficult for a while, Makoto would rather be there with Haru than anywhere else. It felt peaceful. It felt safe. It felt like love.

  
It felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but necessary. I need to take care of poor Haru...
> 
> *Also, if you guys ever wanted to message me privately (and since Tumblr is so crappy with this) my internet email is cassadyflies@gmail.com
> 
> So, if you guys had questions about the story, or sign language, or just wanted to even say hi in a place that's not the comment section, this is way more reliable than Tumblr.*


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This (about 3000 words!) chapter is dedicated to Haru's intelligence. He got through a lot, and he's whip fucking smart as well. God job, Haru. You are super cool. ImI/

 

It was early in the morning- about five ‘o clock the next day when Makoto’s phone rang.

 

He was startled from sleep rather suddenly, and almost ignored the call entirely. Then he caught a glimpse of the name.

 

“Kisumi!” Makoto answered, “What is it?”

 

Kisumi yawned across the line, “I don’t know… I haven’t slept all night… The room is spinning, and I can’t even get up to pee ‘cause Hayato’s asleep on my chest.”

 

Makoto sighed, “Why are you calling?”

 

“Well, I figured I’d wish you good luck, first off. You know, since the school thinks Hayato’s coming back today.” He yawned again, “But he’s not, so… Also I feel kinda bad. I took my brother so suddenly, and I didn’t give you any explanation. I guess it was a little irrational. I just figure, if someone’s going to pull him out of school anyway, might as well be someone who can take care of him. And once I get custody, I’ll send him right back to Meisei. It’s a win-win.”

 

_It’s far too early to be thinking about this…_ Makoto groaned, sitting up in bed, “I spoke with your dad.” _Might as well put a few more pieces together._

 

“Oh, yeah? Well now I feel bad for two things.” Kisumi laughed.

 

_What do I say…?_ Makoto wondered. He just wanted to know that Mr. Shigino wasn’t bad. If that could be true, all of this would just go away.

 

“Yeah, he’s a little scary. I can see why you’d tell him Haru’s a girl.” Makoto glanced down at the sleeping form of the man in question.

 

Kisumi paused, “Well… I haven’t spoken to him since before I met Haru… What did he say? I didn’t tell him anything.”

 

“He knew a lot about your life.” Makoto explained, rubbing his eyes. “Maybe you said that to your mother?”

 

“No way. I haven’t talked to her since… Well, I… Makoto, what’s this about?” There was a shuffle, and a child started crying. “Dammit…” Kisumi cursed under his breath. “No, sleep, please…”

 

Makoto got out of bed and opened his computer, pulling up Kisumi’s Facebook page. “Your profile is private…” He yawned.

 

“My… Oh. Yeah, I guess he couldn’t have seen…” Hayato kept crying in the background. “So, my dad thinks Haru’s a girl? I guess… I guess he could have gotten that from my mom. She knows about Haru, and so long as she never mentioned he’s a guy. So are you telling me my dad’s story doesn’t match my mom’s? Because, yeah, it doesn’t. My mom lies about stuff. You know that.” The cries got louder, “Oh my god, please be… please be sleep. Please.”

 

“Can I come visit you today?” Makoto asked suddenly, “So I can check in with Hayato? I’ll bring Haru if I can. Maybe he’ll be able to communicate with Hayato better than us.”

 

Kisumi hummed uncertainly, “Um… Well, I don’t really want to let anyone know where I am, but… I can meet you somewhere if you want. Coffee shop, maybe?”

 

“Sounds good,” Makoto nodded, glancing back at Haru, who was waking up.

 

“Alright, cool. Text me an address, I guess I’ll see you after work hours?” Kisumi sighed.

 

“Yeah. See you later.”

 

“Bye.” Kisumi hung up.

 

Haru slapped the bed where Makoto should be. _Ow… Violent…_ Makoto cringed. “Hey.” Haru waved, “You in here?”

 

Makoto sat down on the bed, taking Haru’s hands, “Yeah. Sorry, Kisumi called.” Haru twitched in annoyance. “Do you want to go with me to meet with him tonight? I was hoping you could talk to Hayato.”

 

“I don’t speak the same language as Hayato…” Haru grumbled, “I wanna go with you, though.”

 

“Okay, great. Hey… Do you think I should let Mr. Shigino know that I’m going to see his sons?” Makoto frowned, uncertain.

 

“Yes.” Haru nodded, “I think that since it involves his sons he deserves to know.”

 

“Okay. I’ll do that in a few hours… I’d like to go back to sleep now…” Makoto looked at his pillow longingly.

 

“No, I’m awake  now. That’s your fault. I’m going to go take a bath.” Haru climbed off the bed, running his fingertips along the wall as he walked into the bathroom. “I have work today too. I’m calling in Rin, I think. Children have been taunting the dolphins…” He shut the bathroom door behind him, and a moment later, Makoto heard the water switch on.

 

He sighed. So long as Haru was awake, there was no chance of Makoto getting back to sleep. He stretched, back popping in an extremely satisfying way. _Might as well enjoy the morning. I have a feeling tonight is going to give me yet another headache._

 

The day went slowly. Yamada-san grew even more impatient and on edge when Hayato didn’t return. Makoto insisted they were just late, and that he would call them. Yamada-san eventually gave in, since focussing on the children actually in attendance was more pertinent.

 

Haru showed up at Meisei just as Makoto’s work day ended. Rin was standing right next to him, looking around at the children who were bustling through the halls, dozens of little hands fluttering like popcorn.

 

“This place is cool.” Makoto saw him sign to Haru. “Makoto!” He called out loud, “I came to drop Haru off, but now I’m kind of invested in this insanity with the Shiginos. Is this for real? This sounds made up.”

 

Makoto strode down the hall to meet them. “It’s real. I don’t really know what to make of it though. I’m just going to meet with Kisumi right now, so… I don’t know.” Makoto reached them and switched to sign, taking one of Haru’s hands. “We’ll see what happens. Really, I just want Hayato to meet Haru, and maybe Kisumi will see how much Hayato is missing out on by being here. Also, I don’t really know what’s going on with his dad, so anything he could tell me would be great. Maybe if I meet with him face to face he’ll be nice and let me help with this…” Makoto ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head despairingly. Haru patted him on the head.

 

“Oh, yeah.” Rin nodded, “You just need to trip him up when asking about the contact he’s had with his dad. Then you’ll know if he’s the crazy one. Personally,” Rin continued, “I think they might _all_ be the crazy one, and if that’s true, there’s probably no way out of the situation. That would mean you just need to step back and let Hayato go, however hard that may be.”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened, “You think…” He didn’t quite know where to start with all that. “You think I should lie to Kisumi? Or… Give up on Hayato?”

 

“No. I think you should figure out whether or not Kisumi is equally as insane as his mother and father probably are. If that’s true, then I think we should just bow to statistics. Most deaf kids go uneducated. There are some you can save, like Haru, and there are some that are just in a really shitty situation, and there’s probably no way out at least until he’s an adult. And for all we know, Hayato’s just as fucked up as his mom or dad or brother may be. It sucks, but you have other students you need to focus on.” Rin nodded at Haru, “And you’ve got Haru, too. Pay attention to your own health as well, Makoto. And the health of your relationship.”

 

Makoto didn’t like to hear something like that. He wanted to do whatever it took to save Hayato. The idea of even a single child going their whole life without a language, without an education, and without a stable home made him feel sick. It felt wrong to even consider leaving Hayato behind when there was even a tiny chance Makoto could help him. He didn’t want to go his whole life wondering if he could have done something.

 

“I don’t like that…” He frowned.

 

“Rin’s right.” Haru spoke up, “That’s the true disability behind every deaf or blind child. In the right situation, with the right family, we can do pretty much anything. The fact that I’m not in an institution right now is due to Rin’s family, not my own. Hayato doesn’t have something like that, and by the looks of it, his family is much much worse. It may already be too late.” Haru’s face was pointed towards the ground.

 

“Haru, I…” Makoto didn’t know how to respond. If Haru said it was so… Shouldn’t he believe him? Haru was the one who knew these things. Yet… he still felt that abandoning Hayato was the wrong decision.

 

“Don’t give up hope just yet.” Rin clapped a hand on Makoto’s shoulder, “Maybe Kisumi isn’t that bad. Or maybe his dad isn’t crazy. If even one of them is stable, there still might be something you can do. But you’re not all-powerful, Makoto. So try not to beat yourself up too bad if this doesn’t work out.”

 

Makoto nodded. “Rin… Will you come with us? To meet with Kisumi? Maybe you can say something.”

 

Rin frowned, “Hmm… Yeah, I guess. I was supposed to do this thing with Sousuke… Whatever, he can deal with it. You’ve got me invested in this story.”

 

Makoto smiled, “Thanks. I think you might say the right things better than me.”

 

Rin nodded. “Alright then, let’s go.”

 

They took the train to the northern side of Tokyo, and took a bus from there. The coffee shop was only a two minute walk at Haru’s pace from the bus station, so that was pretty convenient.

 

Kisumi was sitting at a table outside with Hayato in his lap. He had given Hayato a chunk of clay to play with, and had put a mask over his mouth to stop him from eating it. Not a bad idea.

 

“Makoto! Haru!” Kisumi noticed them and waved, “Oh, no way! You brought Rin! Nice to see you again, it’s been a while.”

 

“Yeah.” Rin sat down at the table next to Kisumi, and took Hayato’s hand, fingerspelling his name into it.

 

Hayato nodded, and copied back the letters before returning to the clay.

 

“Ah. I see Meisei has taught him something,” Rin smiled at the child, leaning back in his chair.

 

Makoto interpreted for Haru, taking a seat across from them.

 

“Mhm. I want him to get back there as soon as possible.” Kisumi smiled back, “If he can figure out just _why_ he’s spelling things, that would be great.”

 

“So he’ll copy, but he doesn’t understand?” Rin asked, frowning.

 

“Yeah, seems like it. He won’t ever spell words unless prompted, but he’ll go through the entire alphabet without a single mistake.” Kisumi looked proud.

 

“That’s a really good start.” Rin agreed, “Seems like he’s good at pattern recognition. It would be good to get him back to school before he forgets everything.”

 

“Oh, he won’t forget. I practice with him. It’s good for me too, since I’ve just really started learning sign. But I want to make sure I can speak it fluently so that when I adopt Hayato, he’ll be able to talk at home.” Kisumi stroked Hayato’s hair, smiling.

 

“Yeah. Good plan. So…” Rin looked at Makoto pointedly before continuing with Kisumi, “I think it’s good that you’re talking to your father. From what I’ve heard, he seems like a pretty bad guy, so it’s good that you’re keeping tabs on him. It’s what I’d do.”

 

Makoto interpreted, frowning slightly, _what is he trying to do?_

 

Kisumi frowned, hesitating, “Um… I’m not sure… Do you want to order coffee or something? This feels a bit like an interrogation. Really, I’d just like to talk to you guys casually. Any advice Haru or you could give me about Hayato would be great.”

 

Makoto winced internally, begging Kisumi with his mind not to say something that meant he wasn’t trustworthy. That must be what Rin was trying to make him do.

 

“Yeah, Makoto, why don’t you go with Haru to pick up some drinks for the four of us? I haven’t seen Kisumi in forever, so I’d really like to catch up.” Rin grinned.

 

_This is creepy…_ Makoto tried to smile back, but it felt wrong. “Come on, Haru, let’s go.” The two of them stood up, and walked inside the shop to the counter.

 

_Rin is weirdly good at this…_ Makoto mused. _He seems to know what he’s doing. Maybe I should just back off and let him handle this. He’s a pretty smart guy, after all._ They ordered their drinks, and stood to the side of the counter to wait. Makoto watched the table through the window intensely, hoping he could pick something up about what was going on. Rin and Kisumi just seemed to be talking, though. They laughed now and then, and Rin gestured to Hayato frequently, so they must not be _entirely_ off track.

 

When they walked back outside, both Kisumi and Rin looked more relaxed. Makoto passed around four cups of coffee, and handed a juice box to Kisumi for Hayato.

 

“So, yeah, I totally get why you’d want to keep Hayato away from your parents.” Rin nodded, thanking Makoto for the coffee in sign as he spoke, “It really seems like you’re the best one to keep him, Kisumi.”

 

“Ah, thanks. Actually, our grandmother might have been the best person at one time, but she’s unable to take him now that she’s older. To be honest, I don’t really feel like an adult yet. I’ve got a job, a house, and now a kid sort of, and I still feel like just a child myself.” Kisumi shrugged.

 

_Wait…_ Makoto’s eyebrows shot up, _didn’t… didn’t Mr. Shigino tell me that there was a place for Hayato with his grandmother? Why would he make something like that up if she was unable?_

“Ah… Kisumi?” Makoto spoke up nervously.

 

Rin reached across the table so Makoto didn’t have to sign to Haru as he spoke.

 

“When I met with your father, he said that there was a place for Hayato with his grandmother. Actually, he told me to make sure to tell you that.” Makoto felt a bit more confident, “So are you sure she’s completely unable?”

 

Kisumi froze, and Makoto saw Rin’s eyes darken.

 

“Oh. He told you that? Wow, I wish I had known earlier. Maybe… Maybe her health has taken a turn for the better.” Kisumi poked the straw through Hayato’s juice box and handed it to him.

 

Rin took a sip of his coffee, “Well, since you were in contact with your dad before you took Hayato, I wonder why he decided that your grandmother was the better option?”

 

Kisumi visibly paled, and Makoto’s heart sunk. _Does this mean Kisumi is lying too?_

 

“I wasn’t… I wasn’t _really_ in contact with him. What I meant by that, and what _he_ probably means by that is that we kept in contact through my mom. She sent me emails every week with updates about her and Hayato’s life.” He smiled casually, looking surprisingly natural.

 

_No… Kisumi, please… We know that’s not true already. You didn’t even know that Hayato was in school…_

 

Makoto was crushed. If Hayato’s mom was unstable, and his dad was unstable, and Kisumi was _also_ unstable, what sort of chance did Hayato possibly have?

 

“I see.” Rin said darkly. “That makes sense.”

 

Kisumi relaxed.

 

“I’m glad we got that all cleared up.” Rin deadpanned, not even trying to look natural anymore. He was clearly just as disappointed as Makoto was.

 

Haru spoke for the first time, and Rin interpreted. “You know, Kisumi, it might be best for Hayato not to be with you for a while. Since your father will certainly be looking for him. I wouldn’t want him to get ahold of Hayato. You don’t have to, but please consider it: what if Hayato stayed with Makoto and I for a while? Makoto is his teacher, and can continue to work with Hayato on his education, and once you’re certain that your father won’t try to look for him anymore, you can take him right back.”

 

Kisumi raised his eyebrows, “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that. I just got my brother back, after all. I want to be with him as much as possible so he will remember who I was before. I like having him around, you know? I like being his brother again.”

 

“That’s fine.” Haru nodded, “I understand. It’s always an option, though. I’m the only one who can properly introduce Hayato to his culture, and Makoto’s the only one who is actually certified to take care of his mental wellbeing. Keep that in mind when you take him home with you today.” Haru held out his hands in anticipation of a response.

 

“Y-yeah.” Kisumi said, “Thanks, Haru, I’ll keep it in mind.”

 

Haru nodded, sitting back.

 

The rest of the visit was subdued as they mostly just finished their drinks in silence, making occasional small talk. When they finally got back on the train, Rin spoke again.

 

“I’m kind of depressed, now.” He sighed.

 

“Me too.” Makoto nodded.

 

“I always knew he wasn’t good.” Haru shrugged, “I tend to be a good judge of character.”

 

“I should have believed you sooner,” Makoto apologized, “Sorry.”

 

Haru shrugged again.

 

“Good suggestion, though, Haru.” Rin pointed out, “That leaves the door open for Kisumi to drop Hayato with you guys when things get too rough.”

 

“So, he told you he still spoke with his father?” Haru asked Rin.

 

“What?” Makoto was surprised, “When did that happen?”

 

“When we were inside getting coffee. Then when we went back out, Rin said something about him talking to his dad before he took Hayato.” Haru explained.

 

“Yeah. As soon as you guys left, his story changed.” Rin nodded sadly, “I kind of thought that might happen, since that’s what Haru said his mom did.”

 

Makoto thought back, remembering. “Oh yeah… Wait, so does that mean that Kisumi’s dad is telling the truth?”

 

Haru shook his head, “No, you said he thought I was a girl. So Kisumi was probably lying to Rin since Rin said that staying in touch with his father was the thing he would have done. Kisumi was probably just saying what he thought Rin wanted to hear. But his dad does know _some_ things… I don’t know how.”

 

“Oh…” Makoto’s head spun, “This is really confusing… I’m glad you guys were here.”

 

“Unfortunately, it means that we can’t really put faith into any one of them. Hayato’s chances in life don’t look good.” Rin sighed, looking frustrated.

 

Haru corrected, “There’s still the grandmother.”

 

“There are so many problems with that…” Rin sighed again.

 

Haru shrugged, “Yeah. You’re right.”

 

“What? What problems? I don’t get it.” Makoto was frustrated. He felt like he was out of the loop and didn’t understand why Haru and Rin were getting this so much faster than he was.

 

Rin explained. “First off, we don’t know if she can physically care for Hayato. Secondly, we have no way to contact her through Kisumi, and if we try through his dad, we have no way of getting Hayato to her. We don’t even know her name.”

 

“Oh… Right.” Makoto nodded. “Well, I guess what we do next is clear, then.”

 

Rin and Haru both frowned at him. “What?” They said in unison.

 

“We have to make Kisumi want to give Hayato to his grandmother.” Makoto smiled, glad he’d finally thought of something before the other two.

 

“No chance.” Rin shrugged him off.

 

_Annoying._ Makoto frowned at him.

 

“Kisumi already said she’s too frail. Whether or not that’s true, he’s already said it to us. I doubt he’ll change his mind.”

 

“Well…” Makoto thought about it, “He’ll just have to say it to someone else, then.”

 

“Who?” Haru asked.

  
Makoto smiled, “I’ll call Nagisa and Rei.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter full of information to balance out the last chapter, which was short and fluffy.
> 
> Unfortunately, it's true that (at least in America) many deaf children have gone without decent education. Especially the ones who grew up in mainstream/oralist schools before the time of interpreters.
> 
> Also, even in the Deaf schools, education needs major improvements. As of now, Deaf schools are instructed using written English. They were based around the idea that Deaf schools should be equal to Hearing schools. This is a wonderful idea! But unfortunately, they got one major thing wrong. They used the same textbooks. Even though Deaf have an easier time understanding written English than spoken English (for obvious reasons), it is still the written version of a language that is not their own. Imagine if you had been taking Spanish lessons (or some other language that you don't know), and you were feeling pretty confident. Then suddenly, your school decides that all your textbooks are going to be in Spanish. At least the verbal instruction is in English, but you can imagine how disconcerting that would be.
> 
> Just now, people are finally beginning to study how Deaf people learn best. And (surprise, surprise), turns out it's EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME as how everyone else learns best! That is- in their own goddamn language.
> 
> Anyway, I could rant forever, but I won't. Point is, Deaf education needs rehabilitation, and it's all Alexander Grahm Bell's fault. That guy sucks ass. (Yeah, the phone guy. I know. Omg.)
> 
> For the sake of this story and my own sanity, I've assumed that the situation for Deaf in Japan is the same as it is here in America where I am. In reality, it's probably very different in many ways. However, since I'm only involved with the American Deaf community, I'll not even try to speak of Japan's.


	11. Chapter 11

 

Nagisa was lying on the couch in nothing but his underwear, staring at the ceiling dolefully.

 

“Rei-chan…” He whined, glancing over at the kitchen, where Rei was cooking intensely.

 

“Mmm..?” Rei hummed back, chopping onions with precision, and only crying a little bit.

 

“Why is it raining? I hate it when it rains…” He pouted, listening to the constant drum of rain against the windows of their apartment.

 

Rei set down the knife to grab some carrots, “We live right next to the ocean. So the water is constantly evaporating, and condensing in the cooler atmosphere. So this current precipitation is-”

 

“No!” Nagisa cut him off, “I don’t want the science answer.”

 

Rei frowned, “But there isn’t another answer. Everything is science.”

 

Nagisa sighed, “I just want to know why the world hates me so much that it must do this…”

 

Rei opened and closed his mouth several times, searching for a proper response to that.

 

Nagisa spared him, “It’s just that I _finally_ get a day off, and it’s raining! I want to go to the beach… I’m bored now.” He sighed dramatically, “Rei-chan. Entertain me.”

 

“I’m cooking lunch. Sit still for one moment.” Rei shook his head, going back to the carrots. “I’m busy.”

 

_“We_ could be busy.” Nagisa grinned, pushing himself into a sitting position. “I’m _bored._ Entertain me.”

 

“Entertain yourself.” Rei ignored him, tossing the ingredients into a soup pot.

 

_“No…”_ Nagisa whined, “What did I even get a boyfriend for?”

 

“Because if there’s nobody to feed you, you’ll eat candy for every meal.” Rei looked at the bowl of chocolate on the coffee table pointedly, “That’s unhealthy.”

 

Nagisa pouted, _“You’re_ unhe-” His phone rang. “Ah, Makotan!” He picked it up on the first ring, answering excitedly, “What’s up?”

 

“Hi, Nagisa. Um.. I was wondering…” Makoto’s voice sounded nervous. “You know Kisumi?”

 

Nagisa’s eyes widened in interest, “Hold on, Makotan, I’m gonna put you on speaker so Rei can hear this.” He hit the button, and the crackling audio got louder. “Go ahead.”

 

“Ah…” Makoto paused, “Hi, Rei. Um… So, there’s this thing I kind of wanted to ask of you…” He paused again, “Do you think you could talk to Kisumi for me? I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it was important, or I didn’t think you could do it.”

 

Nagisa smiled, “Mako-chan! Are you getting sneaky without me? You have to tell me everything.”

 

Over the next few minutes, Makoto explained what had been going on with Hayato and the rest of the Shiginos.

 

By the end of his speech, Rei had abandoned his cooking and was sitting on the couch with Nagisa, listening intently.

 

“So,” Rei nodded when Makoto had finished, “It seems like the Shiginos may be some form of compulsive liars. They say what they want to believe is true, and they’ll believe it once it’s been said. I think you’re right that you could use it to your advantage.”

 

Makoto made a noise of relief over the line, “You think so, Rei? That’s good to hear. Ah, hold on.” There was a long pause, “Oh yeah. Haru says he thinks the grandmother might still be a possibility for Hayato, if we can get Kisumi to say that he’ll give him to her.”

 

Nagisa looked at Rei, searching his face for any clue as to what he was thinking. Rei was so hard to read sometimes.

 

“Yes, I think that’s valid. Even if it turns out she’s a liar as well, you’ve just given Hayato-kun to a clean slate. If you can make her say the right things, you should be able to at least get Hayato back to his mother.” Rei leaned over the phone in interest.

 

“Okay.” Makoto agreed, “That sounds right… So then… I wanted to ask…”

 

“You need us to convince Kisumi-kun to give Hayato-kun to Grandmother Shigino.” Rei nodded.

 

“...Yeah.”

 

“I’m up for it, Makotan!” Nagisa called out excitedly.

 

“I’m willing also.” Rei announced.

 

“Great! Thank you both!” Makoto’s smile could be heard clearly over the crackling audio.

 

“No problem! Detectives Hazuki and Ryugazaki to the rescue!” Nagisa bounced, clapping a hand on Rei’s shoulder with slightly too much force.

 

They hung up. Nagisa, being entirely less bored, leapt off the couch, bouncing on his toes, “Rei! We gotta call Kisumi and see when we can talk to him!”

 

Rei stood up too, but far more calmly. “We have to figure out what to say first, and how to phrase it when we do call him. Let’s make sure we’re entirely prepared so we don’t make any mistakes.”

 

Nagisa’s shoulders drooped.

 

*******

 

The next night, Nagisa and Rei arrived at the outside of the same bar they had taken Haru and Makoto to a while back. They waited outside by a wall of posters before Kisumi showed up a few minutes later.

 

“Nagisa! Rei! Long time no see!” He pulled them both into a crushing hug.

 

“Kisu-chan!” Nagisa nicknamed him, hugging back with equal fervor. “I’m so glad you made it!”

 

The music was loud as expected, really not a good environment for interrogation. Nagisa frowned thoughtfully as he scanned the room, looking for a good location.

 

“Let’s go out back.” Rei suggested, leading them towards a door in the back of the bar. It lead to a small, covered patio area that was much quieter than inside.

 

“I’ve never been out here before…” Nagisa looked around, surprised.

 

“Really? This is my favorite part of this place.” Rei found them a table and sat down.

 

Nagisa gaped, “Wait, you’ve been here _without_ me?”

 

Rei cocked his head, “Of course. I’m the one who showed you this place.”

 

Nagisa’s eyebrows shot up, “Huh. I never really pictured you having a life before you met me. That’s pretty weird.”

 

Kisumi grinned, “You guys are honestly one of my favorite couples. You’re so different, yet you kinda just go together, you know? It just fits.”

 

“Aw, thanks. Hey, what about you? Are you interested in anyone right now?” Nagisa leaned in, ears perked up for gossip.

 

Kisumi laughed, “Ah, my life’s a little crazy at the moment. That’s not to say there’s no one I like, but… I don’t think now’s the time to pursue a relationship. You know?”

 

Nagisa nodded, totally not getting it. “Yeah… Sorry, no. You like someone, but you _aren’t_ going to try to date them?”

 

Kisumi shrugged, “It’s not the right time.”

 

Nagisa looked to Rei for support. So, Kisumi was clearly crazy, right? Makoto was right. This was a problem.

 

Rei just smiled, “I get it. So, what’s been going on that your love life is taking a step back?”

 

Kisumi frowned, “Wait… So you haven’t been talking with Makoto? Damn, I kinda thought this was another intervention.”

 

Nagisa struggled to keep from giving anything away while Rei continued.

 

“He told us some things, like how you’ve got your brother living with you now? That seems nice.” Rei’s expression was blank. Dammit, he was smart but the boy couldn’t act. Nagisa stepped in.

 

“Yeah, it’s awesome how you’ve gotten him away from a bad situation. That must be a lot of work, though, raising a kid. I can’t even imagine.” Nagisa smiled. Yes. So talented.

 

Kisumi frowned at him, “Why? Are you guys gonna have a kid do you think?”

 

Nagisa frowned, pausing. Huh. What could even remotely be a good response to that. Then again, it’s not like he didn’t have opinions. “Rei think’s I’m ‘too immature,’ and ‘only twenty two,’ and ‘male.’” He huffed, “So for now, we’re waiting.”

 

Rei looked at him in annoyance, “I- I don’t- You _are_ male!” He folded his arms, exasperated.

 

“You’re such a negative thinker.” Nagisa huffed, “And anyway, I was actually just kinda worried about you. I mean, can you even sleep? I love sleep. So much. I sleep _so much.”_ Nagisa grinned proudly. Sleeping a lot was one of his finest achievements.

 

Kisumi laughed, “Actually, I don’t sleep much anymore. Not that I slept a lot to begin with, I’m sure you’ve got me beat.”

 

Nagisa narrowed his eyes at the challenge. “How much?”

 

Kisumi frowned, “How much do I sleep? Last night… Six hours?”

 

Nagisa smirked, “Twelve hours.”

 

Kisumi looked frightened, “That’s just… Excessive.”

 

Nagisa shrugged, “But my record is 48.”

 

Rei nodded in confirmation.

 

Kisumi raised an eyebrow, “That’s probably the longest I’ve gone _without_ sleep. I can’t imagine actually staying asleep that long.”

 

Nagisa sat back in his chair, “That’s ‘cause I don’t have a kid. I still get to sleep forever.”

 

“I don’t think it’s healthy,” Rei butted in.

 

“Sleep is _always_ healthy, Rei. _Always.”_ Nagisa shook his head at his hopeless boyfriend.

 

Rei shook his head back, “That’s… Okay. Okay. Just… I think it’s really nice of your grandmother to give Hayato the option to stay with her. It sounds like a really nice set up from what I’ve heard, doesn’t it?”

 

Nagisa grinned, _so sneaky._

 

Kisumi shrugged, “Yeah… I mean, I _guess_ that’s an option. Honestly, I really like having him with me, even if it means losing sleep. I missed him, you know? When I left for college. Now I’ve just finally got him back.”

 

“Yeah, I get it.” Nagisa nodded, “But it’s not like you have to give him up forever, you know? Haru said you’re really good friends with your grandmother. So, it seems like having her help you with Hayato could be the best of both worlds.”

 

Kisumi shrugged. “I mean, I do like sleep. Maybe I’ll give her a call sometime.”

  
_Yes!_ Totally perfect. Detective Hazuki and Ryugazaki had done it again. Nagisa grinned, unable to contain it. He and Rei spared a quick success glance at each other before they regained their composure and continued with their night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm convinced the world is only insomniacs and narcoleptics.
> 
> Someone show me someone who isn't either Kisumi or Nagisa.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a superfluous, fluffy chapter that I wrote because I felt like it, dammit. Fight me.

Rin was struggling not to yell at everyone. It was the weekend, so Nagisa had insisted that they finally all get back together as a group. Rin had agreed on the condition that he wouldn’t have to put any effort into conversation if he didn’t want to. Really, he didn’t mind so long as he could just sit quietly to the side and ignore everyone until the whole ordeal was over.

 

Sousuke was with him, and Rin was starting to think bringing him had been a bad idea.

 

Nagisa was continuously directing the conversation directly onto Rin, who was now deeply regretting Makoto’s ability to interpret for Haru. It meant he couldn’t filter anything anymore.

 

“So,” Nagisa prodded, “You and Sousuke are still living together, huh? I mean, totally convenient what with your work schedules, but… I thought you might branch out a bit more, Rin-Rin.” He grinned, clearly thinking he was being subtle.

 

“Yeah, you’d think, huh?” Rin scowled, eyeing everyone’s curious expressions with contempt.

 

Haru just looked confused, “Why would Rin leave Sousuke? They-”

 

Rin grabbed Haru’s hands, “You know what, Haru? You’re right. Why would I leave Sousuke? I’ve got a good set up right now, no reason to go changing things. Plus, since we’re not in bunk beds anymore-”

 

“What kind of bed do you sleep in, then?” Nagisa leaned forward.

 

Rin narrowed his eyes, “The kind that sits on the floor.” This was a distinctly annoying way to spend an afternoon.

 

Sousuke was chuckling to himself, definitely not helping, but at least he wasn’t making things worse. “Rin didn’t mind the bunk beds as long as he was on the bottom.”

 

Rin wanted to kick him. _Way to not make things worse._

 

Nagisa grinned madly, “Oh _yeah?_ Is that true, Rin-Rin?”

 

Sousuke spoke for him, “Yeah. He was pretty insistent, too. I think his words were, ‘I get bottom, so move or I’ll bite you.’”

 

Rin cringed as Nagisa’s jaw dropped, “Oh man, _Rin-Rin!_ I didn’t know you had such a strong preference!”

 

Rin ignored Nagisa while glaring daggers at Makoto, who was explaining the double entendre to Haru, trying to avoid eye contact.

 

Haru nodded solemnly, “Yeah, Rin can be pretty stubborn. Although, you lived in that dorm together for four years. Seems like you could have switched around occasionally.”

 

The room grew silent, and Sousuke elbowed Rin.

 

Nagisa looked like he was going to cry, _“Haru-chan!”_ He squealed, “That was beautiful!”

 

Rin folded his arms, “Yeah. Funny, Haru. I hate you all.”

 

Haru looked pleased with himself.

 

Nagisa pouted, “Rin-chan, we’re your _friends._ We have a right to know all the details of your lovelife.”

 

“Maybe I don’t have one.” Rin challenged, “Also, no you don’t.”

 

Nagisa scoffed, “Rin-chan, please. I’ve known you for five years. If you weren’t with _someone,_ you’d be way more grumpy than even this.”

 

Rin huffed, “I’m not _grumpy.”_

 

Nagisa nodded, “So you’re getting some.”

 

Sousuke laughed.

 

“Can we have literally _any other_ conversation?” Rin glared at the floor.

 

“Sou-chan?” Nagisa turned to Sousuke expectantly, “Will you tell me how many beds are in your apartment?”

 

Sousuke shrugged, “Judging by Rin’s cageyness, I’d say one.”

 

Nagisa clapped happily while Rin looked at Sousuke in betrayal.

 

“Sorry, Rin,” Sousuke smirked, “This was getting annoying.”

 

“Tell me everything!” Nagisa leaned in on his elbows.

 

“No.” Rin and Sousuke said unanimously.

 

Nagisa looked heartbroken. “What? At least tell me when you got together…”

 

“No.” They said in unison again.

 

Nagisa fell against the table dramatically, “Please?? Tell me anything! I’m dying here!”

 

Sousuke hummed thoughtfully, and Nagisa looked up expectantly. “Umm…” Sousuke tapped his chin, “Well, we told our friends for the first time today…”

 

“You’re the worst.” Nagisa sighed, looking over to Rei for support, “Come on, we deserve to know, right?”

 

Haru spoke up, “Sometime around high school, right?”

 

Everyone at the table stared at him in shock.

 

“Haru, what the hell?” Rin snapped.

 

Haru shrugged, “Well, you did get suddenly less grumpy.”

 

“That long ago?” Nagisa cried, “How did I not know about this? How did _you_ know this? I didn’t even know you _knew_ each other for that long.”

 

“I lived at Rin’s house over the summers a lot.” Haru explained, “Just because I couldn’t hear them didn’t mean I couldn’t tell when his bed moved too much. I was right there, Rin. Futon does not equal different room.”

 

Rin buried his face in his hands, “Oh my god…”

 

Sousuke’s shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter, “He’s so observant, shit.”

 

“Haru-chan! _You_ can tell me all the stories!” Nagisa’s eyes sparkled.

 

Haru thought about it, “One time Sousuke stayed over too late and they fell asleep, so he had to get out through the second story window the next morning, and he forgot his swimsuit, so when Rin’s mom came in to our room, Rin had to pretend like it was his, and he wore a swimsuit that was too big for him all day just to prove it. So his swimsuit kept falling down when we were swimming, and-”

 

“Enough!” Rin grabbed Haru’s hands to shut him up while Nagisa and Sousuke both howled with laughter.

 

“You wore my swimsuit?” Sousuke wiped his eyes, “That’s so cute.”

 

“I always watched them really closely when we were all in the pool together,” Haru pulled his hands free to continue, “Just incase they decided to defile the purity of the water.”

 

More laughter from Nagisa and Sousuke while Rin raised an eyebrow at Makoto’s interpretation, “Defile the purity?”

 

Makoto shrugged shyly, “Sounded like words he’d choose…”

 

Rin shook his head at him. “This is not how I pictured my day going.”

 

Sousuke kissed Rin’s cheek to an enthusiastic squeak from Nagisa. “Yes it is. You willingly went somewhere with Nagisa.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin got suddenly less grumpy between season 1 and season 2. Sousuke also showed up at that same time. Coincidence? Probably. 
> 
> Whatever, this is my explanation.


	13. Chapter 13

 

Thick, salty water pressed against Haru’s throat and eyes as he let himself sink lower and lower into the tank.

 

It was a strange feeling, being this completely unaware. Usually, glimmers of light would tell Haru where up was, and where large objects were. Now, immersed in total blackness, something Haru had never felt in the water before fluttered in his chest.

 

Fear.

 

Nothing so great as to make his struggle, and nothing so toxic as to make him freeze. Really, it was more of a wariness, almost like paranoia. Something moved in the water behind him, quickly and smoothly, sending rapid shock waves crashing against Haru’s back.

 

The water was displaced around Haru’s body, spanning from the backs of his thighs to the back of his head. Something large was circling him. Haru bit his lip as his heart pounded, begging for oxygen. He shot up quickly, gasping at the surface before diving back under.

 

He didn’t exactly _need_ to be in the tank at that moment. Actually, the work day was over, and his partner had gone home. A regular employee shouldn’t be in the tank at all. However, Haru and his superiors had an understanding. Well, more of a compromise: Haru wouldn’t swim in the fish tanks while the public was walking through so long as he could swim in them after closing time. This wasn’t exactly beneficial to management, but it was better than nothing.

 

Coarse sand puffed around Haru’s feet as he hit the bottom of the tank. Some small fish brushed against his left calf. Haru crossed his legs and let himself sink all the way to the bottom.

 

The caged water brushed his hair, and tangled through his fingers, seeming to say, “You’ll be okay.”

 

The water could say that as much as it wanted. Haru didn’t _feel_ okay. The same large presence swirled in front of him now, a little bit closer. Haru snapped his fingers, measuring the way the ripples of water bounced back against him. Something large, and something still.

 

Haru’s heart jumped into his throat as a mass of rough skin bumped against his chest.

 

Shark.

 

Haru had swum in the shark tank before. It was really no big deal. The sharks didn’t even seem to notice Haru usually.

 

This time was different. For one, the shark had approached Haru on its own. It had circled him and sized him up before bumping into him to get his attention. Secondly, this was Haru’s first time to swim with the sharks since he had lost the remainder of his vision.

 

As his vision had deteriorated, so had the fear of sharks that had gripped him as a child. When you couldn’t see the calamity of teeth, and the dead, staring eyes, they suddenly became much less frightening.

 

However, he had still been able to see them approach. He could see the agitation in their movements, and he could judge when to get away.

 

Haru realized he was face to face with an invisible predator, and the shark’s dead eyes gathered information Haru’s dead eyes could not.

 

All Haru knew was the negative space in front of him, where the water didn’t move. His astute sense of touch was yet only able to tell him that, yes, something was there.

 

On instinct, Haru’s eyes opened, allowing the sting of salt water behind his lids. He winced and the shark nudged him again.

 

The water before had been intimate. It wasn’t the vast, epic expanses that it surely was for sighted people, but it had been familiar and kind. Now it clung to him as a blindfold, and the lack of air felt like oppression rather than a welcome break from the arduous task of breathing.

 

_I can’t breathe._

 

Haru froze, wondering if hearing people could hear through water. Probably, right? Although they couldn’t hear through walls… Haru had never thought to ask. Nobody had ever thought to tell him. Regardless, it was pointless to call anybody now, and he didn’t really want to if he could.

 

_I’ve been in the shark tank before. The sharks have never bothered me._ Haru reasoned with his brain, which was trying to panic.

 

The shark nudged him again, and Haru just sat there.

 

He had never felt so broken.

 

Defective.

 

Helpless.

 

Disabled.

 

_Makoto-_ Haru called out with his mind, on the off chance Makoto might hear.

 

_What is this?_ The sharks had never acted this way before. The heart beating so frantically in Haru’s mouth shuddered to a stop as he sensed another presence behind him, drawing nearer.

 

Something nudged his back.

 

Rough skin and thin chopping fins. There were only three sharks in the entire tank, and two of them were prodding Haru.

 

_Marine Center Employee Dies in Shark Attack._

 

That’s what the news would say, probably.

 

No-

 

_Deafblind Man is Killed by Sharks._

 

If Haru wanted to be honest with himself about the thing they’d focus on.

 

The second shark nudged him from behind again.

 

_They’ll interview Makoto, and then the headline will just read:_

_‘Gay Deafblind Man Once Existed. But Then Sharks. It Was All-Around Weird.’_

 

Haru squeezed his eyes shut and waited. Nothing he could do about it now.

 

Seconds slurred by, interrupted by the quick darting movements of the sharks.

 

Nothing happened. Then, when nothing continued to happen, Haru’s shoulders gradually relaxed.

 

Another minute of confusion followed, before something dawned on him: _I think they can tell there’s something wrong with me._ Maybe it should have come as a relief, but Haru just felt saddened.

 

If even the sharks could tell, how must he look?

 

Haru pictured himself, an empty shell, staring hollowly into the void, pale water pulling his hair in every direction. Light would filter down through the water, and stop just short of Haru’s eyes. Colorful sounds would fall down from the ceiling, and stop just short of Haru’s ears.

 

Even his image of sound was probably wrong. Some days, Haru wanted to deny the existence of something like sound that couldn’t be seen or touched, but now… It felt like his own existence was collapsing because there was so much more that he couldn’t understand, and even the dumb, gaping sharks knew it. Even the dazed, floating sharks could tell through their thick primitive skulls to their tiny, slow brains.

 

Rin and his father had insisted that even though Haru’s perception of the world was different, he understood just as much. He wasn’t missing anything that wasn’t made up for by his _extraordinary ability_ to see or feel what others could not.

 

When he could see, Haru was left alone by the sharks. When he could see, Haru never had anything to fear from them. He was missing something now, obviously.

 

There _must_ be things he’d been missing his whole life, things he could never even conceive of.

 

Things even these stupid sharks could understand.

  
What was the world failing to tell him now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's still not okay.


	14. Chapter 14

 

There was a knock on the door. Makoto stood up from his spot on the couch to go answer it. He briefly considered telling Haru, but… He was still asleep. It was already 12 PM, but Makoto figured Haru would wake up when he needed to. Since it was the weekend, it really couldn’t be that harmful.

 

He opened the door, finding himself face to face with an old woman with a huge smile. Before Makoto could say another word, she pulled him into a hug.

 

“Tachibana Makoto! I just knew I’d find you here. May I come in?” Her light purple eyes sparkled brightly.

 

“Um…” Makoto glanced behind her, noticing a small stroller, facing the opposite wall. _No way. It couldn’t be._

 

“Oh! I’ve been looking at you on the internet all this time, I forgot you don’t know who I am! I’m an old woman, forgive me. I’m Hayato and Kisumi’s grandmother.” She reached up as high as she could to put her hands on Makoto’s cheeks, “My, I think you’re even taller than my grandson! Healthy boy. Excuse me, dear.” She pushed past Makoto into the apartment, pulling the stroller behind her. She toed off her shoes and left them by the door.

 

Makoto peered into the stroller, and sure enough, Hayato was in it chewing on a stuffed lamb. Makoto’s jaw dropped as she brought him over to the couch, and sat down.

 

“Wont you make some tea? I’ve got lots of things to discuss with you.” She smiled, patting Hayato on the head.

 

“S-sure…” Makoto walked over to the kitchen, filling a kettle.

 

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

 

Makoto almost choked, “A-ah, Haru? He’s… He’s still asleep.” She got his gender right. Kind of surprising from an old woman.

 

“That wont do. I’ll go wake him up.” She pushed herself off the couch and trotted over to the bedroom door, which stood slightly ajar.

 

“That’s fine! I’ll do it.” Makoto rushed over, interceding.

 

“You’re a dear.” She smiled, but followed Makoto into the room anyway.

 

“Um… You really don’t have to…” Makoto tried to block her entry.

 

“Son, I have had three children, and all of them are men. I have helped to raise four male grandchildren as well. I can promise you that anything I see will not surprise me.” She reached up to put a hand on Makoto’s shoulder.

 

“That’s not really…” Makoto started to say, but gave up. At least Haru had clothes on... Sighing, he walked over to the bed, shaking Haru awake.

 

Haru slapped him.

 

Grandmother Shigino laughed, “We got a fighter, don’t we? Glad you’re the one waking him up after all.”

 

“He doesn’t usually… I don’t know why he did that.” Makoto frowned at Haru in annoyance, shaking him again.

 

Haru slapped him again.

 

Grandmother Shigino hooted, “Great spirit! I want that for my grandson.”

 

Growling, Makoto grabbed Haru’s hands, “We have a guest, stop it.”

 

“Who?” Haru pulled the covers over his head.

 

“Kisumi’s Grandmother. _And_ Hayato.” Makoto had to stick his hands under the covers awkwardly to reach Haru’s.

 

Haru said something back, but it was under the covers so…

 

Makoto ripped the blankets away, earning another harsh slap from Haru.

 

“I said I don’t care!” Haru curled in on himself.

 

Grandmother Shigino trotted over, placing her hand gently on Haru’s shoulder, thankfully, Haru figured out it wasn’t Makoto before he slapped her as well.

 

To Makoto’s amazement, she signed in broken Japanese grammar, “Please come speak with me.”

 

Haru twitched, looking conflicted.

 

Makoto took Haru’s hands, “Just for a few minutes. Please? It’s important.”

 

Hesitantly, Haru pushed himself into a sitting position. His hair stuck up wildly, and there were dark circles under his closed eyes. “Kisumi isn’t here, is he?”

 

“No, just Hayato,” Makoto reassured.

 

Haru’s shoulders slumped as he stood up begrudgingly. “You interpret. I don’t want to touch her.”

 

Makoto hoped dearly that she hadn’t understood that. “That’s fine.” They collectively left Haru and Makoto’s bedroom, and gathered back around the table. Makoto brought the tea.

 

Grandmother Shigino picked up Hayato from his stroller, and set him on her lap. He screamed really loudly, but he didn’t seem to mind. He continued screaming as they had the conversation around him.

 

“When did you get Hayato?” Makoto asked, trying to talk over the child’s noise.

 

“A few days ago. I live in a retirement home, and they don’t really want children being there. My neighbors complained that he was too loud, but I told them to suck my ass.” She laughed uproariously.

 

Haru actually almost smiled.

 

“Kisumi brought him to me. Said he just needed me to watch him for the day, but he never came back. I’ve heard a lot about you both, though, so me and a friend of mine got on the old computer and did some research.” She grinned, looking proud of herself. “You didn’t have a phone number anywhere, so I called a friend of yours, ah… Matsuoka? He seemed to know the situation.”

 

Makoto shook his head in amazement, _this entire family are stalkers and sociopaths. At least she’s doing the right thing._

 

Haru spoke up, “So, do we get Hayato?” Makoto almost didn’t want to interpret something so blunt.

 

Grandmother Shigino just laughed, “That’s what I’m here to talk to you about. I’m not really in the position to care for him. He should go back to his mother eventually, though. I’ll need to to work something out. I was hoping that you two boys might look after him for a bit, if you could.”

 

Makoto beamed, “That would be great! We can put him back in school, and he can stay in his dorm, and-”

 

“Ah, there’s a problem.” Grandmother Shigino cut him off, “His father has officially withdrawn him from Meisei Gakuen. I don’t think he’ll be able to return.”

 

Makoto’s heart dropped, “No way… Why would he do that?”

 

Grandmother Shigino shrugged.

 

“Why do parents do these things…” Makoto stared hopelessly at Hayato.

 

Haru shrugged.

 

“So, my issue is finding Hayato a place to live for a while. You’re both young, you both work, I’m sure it would be a burden, but you seem like a good place for Hayato to be for a while.” She stuck the stuffed lamb in Hayato’s mouth, and he stopped screaming for a bit.

 

“He could come to the aquarium with me. The dolphins will take care of him.” Haru offered.

 

Grandmother Shigino grinned, “You think so?”

 

Haru nodded, “Yeah. Dolphins are good with kids.”

 

Makoto shook his head, “They aren’t, though. Also Hayato can’t swim, and I doubt the aquarium would be okay with having him run around free all day.”

 

Haru looked at Makoto in disbelief, “That’s the ideal childhood. Are you saying you don’t want that for him?”

 

Grandmother Shigino patted Haru’s knee, “I think it might be too good to be true.”

 

Haru huffed, looking away.

 

Makoto thought about it, “Well… Maybe if… You can take him during the day, I wouldn’t mind having him stay with us at night and over weekends.”

 

She nodded, “I think that could work. I live only twenty minutes by train from Meisei Gakuen. I can pick him up there in the mornings, and drop him off there in the evenings. It’ll be good for me to get out of the house, too. I’ll show Hayato the city.”

 

Makoto smiled, _could this really be resolved so easily?_ “What do you think, Haru?”

 

“I think the dolphins would be better parents than us.”

 

“Sounds good, then.” Makoto nodded, “Is there any sort of preparation you need to make, or-”

 

“No, no, I’ll just be going, then.” Grandmother Shigino stood suddenly, handing Hayato to Makoto, who passed him to Haru.

 

“Oh, are you sure? Because-” Makoto began.

 

“Absolutely sure. You’ll do a fine job. I’ll be at Meisei Gakuen on Monday morning, I’ll see you then, Tachibana-kun. Thank you!” She trotted over to the door, waving as she put back on her shoes and left.

 

“She left.” Makoto told Haru, who nodded.

 

“Yeah.” He stood up, carrying Hayato over to the couch.

 

Makoto followed them, “That was weird.”

 

Haru shrugged, “They don’t surprise me anymore. Don’t be too upset if she doesn’t show up to get him on Monday.”

 

The thought of that made Makoto feel a little sick, “Do you think she would?”

 

Haru pulled on Hayato’s fingers, making the kid laugh. He shook his head, “I don’t know. There’s a chance this is just our kid now, though.”

 

Makoto sat down heavily, “You’re kidding.”

  
Haru grabbed Hayato’s hands, “Hayato, can you sign daddy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gay couples can have unplanned children too. Apparently.


	15. Chapter 15

Strange as it seemed, maybe Hayato being out of school was best for now. After all, language is a two way street. Maybe it was wrong to think that Hayato could figure out language from one teacher at a time.

 

Haru had suggested that Hayato observe what real conversation felt like. The two adults sat facing each other on the couch, with Hayato’s hands on top of theirs as they talked. That way, Hayato could tell not only the words being spoken, but also the responses. A ‘full language model’ was something he couldn’t get in school.

 

Hayato donned a look of intense concentration as he held his hands out, listening to Haru and Makoto speak.

 

“We should probably find a place for him to sleep,” Makoto suggested.

 

“In the kitchen.” Haru suggested.

 

“That’s… Probably not safe.” Makoto frowned.

 

“Yeah, I guess he can’t see light anyway… That’s the brightest spot in the apartment.” Haru sighed.

 

Makoto thought about it, “We could put him on the couch. If you don’t think he’d fall off and hurt himself.”

 

“He’s eight, he’s not a baby.” Haru reminded him.

 

“Right. I keep thinking he’s younger.” Makoto looked at Hayato, whose tongue was poking out.

 

“He’s pretty regressed…” Haru nodded, “And all of this moving around can’t help.”

 

Makoto felt a pang of sadness for the child. “Maybe… Maybe this isn’t what’s best for him. All of this. You know? Us, his family…”

 

Haru’s eyebrows drew together, “What do you mean?”

 

Makoto sighed, nervously reminding himself that Hayato didn’t understand what they were saying, even as the boy in question tugged on their fingers and bit Makoto’s arm. “Maybe he’d be better off somewhere else. With someone else.”

 

Haru’s expression was blank, “Where would he go? If he goes back to Meisei, he needs his parents. If he goes to his grandmother, he gets shipped back and forth between her and us. Kisumi won’t take care of him. If his grandmother leaves him with us, we’re technically kidnappers, and we can’t legally adopt him. There aren’t many good options here.”

 

Makoto shifted uncomfortably, “Yeah, you’re right… Just… What if… You know, what if we called someone?”

 

Haru frowned, “Who? If you call the authorities, and they take him away, that’s a thousand times worse than anything that could happen here.”

 

Makoto’s hands twitched, “But-”

 

Haru’s shoulders set, “He’s eight. Nobody will adopt him. He’s deaf. He’s blind. He’s emotionally, behaviorally, and linguistically regressed. Nobody wants him.”

 

Hayato started crying.

 

“Haru-” Makoto was shocked.

 

“That’s the truth!” Haru scowled, “If you try to take him away from the family that’s forced to have him, you’re condemning him to life in foster care. The family he has is better than an orphanage.”

 

“Hayato’s crying.” Makoto closed in on himself.

 

“He should be,” Haru shot. He sighed, speaking in a calmer tone, “I’m lucky. I’m really, really lucky. I shouldn’t have made it as far as I have.” He let out a shuddering breath, “But I had language. I had parents who wanted me. What Hayato has is the possibility of a good education.” Haru shifted in his seat, “I’d risk his chances on keeping him here, and either going back to school or learning from us. Not on getting him better parents. Education is more important than family. At least, it is for Hayato.”

 

Hayato had withdrawn his hands. He looked closed and anxious.

 

Makoto tapped his shoulder, signing into his hands, “Hayato, want ice cream? Want ice cream?” He stood and walked to the freezer, putting a couple spoonfuls of vanilla into a bowl. He brought it back along with several napkins. “Hayato, sign ice cream.” He instructed, repeating the sign a few times. Then, he took Hayato’s hands and did the sign for him.

 

Hayato stuck his hand into the bowl, grabbing a fistfull of melty ice cream. Makoto wiped his hands off, and gave him a spoon.

 

Hayato dropped it.

 

Makoto put it back in his hands.

 

Hayato dropped it again.

 

Makoto closed Hayato’s fist around the spoon and made him bring it to his mouth.

 

Haru held out his hand too, trying to see what was going on.

 

With three hands, they fed a reluctant Hayato a bowl of vanilla ice cream. At least Hayato’s conflicted expression lightened the mood. He still wasn’t a fan of eating utensils.

 

Haru traced Hayato’s creased forehead with his fingers, nodding sympathetically.

 

“Seems unnecessary, doesn’t it?” He mused, “Why have something that doesn’t work as well as your hands, that makes it so you can’t tell what you’re about to eat? I get it now.”

 

Still, certain social graces were an important part of his education, and since properly feeding himself wasn’t something Hayato could pick up easily through observation, it needed to be taught.

 

When he was done, Hayato resumed his finger pulling and biting while Haru and Makoto talked.

 

“I don’t… I like to think that there’s a perfect place for Hayato.” Makoto said, trying to put it in a positive way so the child wouldn’t get upset again.

 

“Maybe there is,” Haru shrugged, “Maybe his grandmother will get custody, so he’ll get to go to Meisei _and_ live with us. I didn’t mean to… If I don’t say it bluntly there’s no point. I want to make sure my words have meaning. But… I didn’t mean to say that there’s _nobody_ who wants Hayato. I do.”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened, “You wish we could adopt him?”

 

“Yeah, I guess,” Haru shrugged. “More, I wish… well… I think that we would understand him the most. And I think he could get a well-rounded education from the two of us. But yeah, also…” Haru blushed, turning his face towards the floor, “I think we’d make a good family. Us three.”

 

Hayato squealed. Makoto concurred.

 

“Haru!” Makoto pulled him in, hugging him tightly.

 

Haru patted Makoto’s back, “Let go.”

 

Makoto pulled away, trying not to cry. “I can’t believe you said that.”

 

Still blushing, “Me either.”

 

Makoto smiled, looking between Haru and Hayato, considering what it would be like to have that life. He would take Hayato to Meisei with him every morning, so he’d get to be the rare kid that didn’t live on campus. Then they could go visit Haru at the aquarium after school hours, and all the trainers would get to know him. He’d get to know the dolphins, too. Just like Haru wanted. He’d learn to swim. He’d learn to read, and he and Haru could even share books. Then they’d come home at night, and all three would know that things were going to stay the same. Hayato could have his own bed. Maybe they’d move to a bigger place eventually, and he could have his own room. He’d grow up with self confidence, cultural pride, and stability.

 

How unusual and beautiful it would be for a Deafblind child.

 

Makoto shook himself from the fantasy. It was unlikely. He was getting ahead of himself. It was almost impossible. It was best to look at the reality of the situation, and try to think about it logically. Hayato should go back to his parents. It’s not like he and Haru were perfect candidates for parents anyway. _We’re young. We’re not married. Our jobs are unstable. We can’t legally adopt him._ Makoto reminded himself firmly. There was no use in clinging to the idea that Haru and he were the ideal fit for Hayato or really any child. Thinking like that would only make things more difficult when they inevitably said goodbye.

 

Still… He couldn’t help but enjoy the thought. He smiled to himself, and looked up at Haru. His smile faltered when he noticed again the dark circles under his eyes that had been deepening over the past few days. _He’s probably still adjusting to the lack of light cycles,_ Makoto rationalized. Hopefully it would get easier soon. That would also explain why Haru had been sleeping so much, which would explain why he’d been eating less… Makoto shrugged it off. _I’m probably worrying too much. I do that a lot._ He smiled again, shrugging it off for now. Haru would say something if it became a real problem.

 

The three sat together on the couch, Haru and Makoto holding hands like they always did, but now Hayato made it a circle. That was one of the beautiful things about Haru’s language. When you spoke, it was always so personal. Even anger was easier to calm down from when you were forced to remain connected.

  
So, in a circle sat the small potential family, all three held in a place of waiting, hoping that soon something would be made clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reality bites.


	16. Chapter 16

Makoto stood nervously at the bus stop outside Meisei on Monday, Hayato perched on his shoulders. He glanced up and down the street, knowing the bus still had five more minutes, but fearing the worst already.

 

“Is that your brother? He’s very cute.” A young girl maybe in her young twenties nodded to Hayato. “His hair is amazing, how does he do that?”

 

Makoto frowned, “How does he…? I… No, that’s just his hair. He doesn’t do anything.”

 

She laughed, “Wow, that’s so cool. My hair’s always a mess, oh my god. Are you taking him to school? Oh my god, does he go to school here? Is he deaf?”

 

Makoto felt uncomfortable. He wasn’t quite sure how to deal with people like this. “Um, I’m not taking him to school, no. Yeah, he’s deaf. I’m waiting for his grandmother.” There. That was an appropriate response order, right?

 

The girl frowned, “Wait, _his_ grandmother? Is he not your brother?”

 

“Oh. No, he’s not. He’s… I guess he’s the brother of a friend of mine.” Huh. Seemed like a bit of a distant relationship for Hayato.

 

She nodded, “Oh, cool. So are you like his babysitter or something?”

 

“Yeah. Something like that.” Makoto nodded, glancing up and down the street again for the bus. His heart skipped a beat when he saw it round the corner.

 

“That’s so awesome. I love it when guys take care of kids like that.” She grinned at him.

 

Makoto nodded absently, tapping his foot as the bus approached, “Yeah, so does my boyfriend.”

 

The girl’s face fell, “Oh. Shit. Never mind, then.” She turned away, frowning as the bus hissed to a halt.

 

He was sort of expecting it, but it was still crushing when the only people to get off the bus were an old man and a teacher at the school.

 

His face must have shown his disappointment, because the girl turned to him with concern, “Is his grandmother not here?”

 

Makoto shook his head in shocked sadness.

 

The girl sighed, “Do you need help?”

 

Makoto took Hayato off his shoulders, setting him down next to him, “I… I don’t…” Maybe he should have had a contingency plan. He still had to go into work, but now he had Hayato to deal with.

 

The girl shifted her weight, “Ah… Maybe she missed the bus, and she’ll be on the next one. You should call her.”

 

Makoto shook his head, as much as he wanted to believe that was true, knowing what he knew about the Shigino family made it seem unlikely. Also, Hayato’s grandmother hadn’t left any contact information. “I think… No, thank you. I’ll figure something out. I’ll call his brother.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, dialing Kisumi’s number.

 

It answered on the third ring, “Makoto!”

 

“Kisumi.”

 

“Ah… That’s not the tone I like to hear… What did Haru do?” Kisumi laughed.

 

“He didn’t do anything. Stop it, you know why I called.” Makoto snapped, suddenly feeling incredibly angry.

 

The girl waved to the bus driver, and sat down on the bench as the bus drove away, taking Hayato’s hand. Makoto’s eyebrows raised slightly, but he didn’t say anything to her.

 

Kisumi sighed, “So, it’s not working out with my grandmother, then.”

 

Makoto felt his heart pound in his chest as he tried to bite back his anger, “You left him with her, and now she left him with me! What am I supposed to do? He’s not my child!”

 

The girl on the bench raised her eyebrows, listening intently.

 

Kisumi huffed, “Damnit, she said she had this under control! I really trusted her!”

 

“STOP LYING!” Makoto finally snapped, “I _hate_ this! This is child abuse! You can’t just pass him off to whoever you like, that’s not how children work! Hayato deserves respect! He deserves a home and an education! And… and…” He choked on his words a little, but recovered, “And _I_ deserve respect as well! Your whole family has lied to me and manipulated me, and what’s worse is you think I don’t see it! This is dangerous, what you’re doing. It was dangerous when you took him away from school, it was dangerous when your parents pulled him from the program, it was dangerous when you left him with your psycho grandmother, and it was dangerous when she left him with me!” Makoto’s voice snapped, but he kept going, “I’m just barely an adult myself! How the hell am I supposed to take care of a child? And even if I could take care of my own child, Hayato _isn’t._ What if something happens to him? I can’t take him to the hospital! I can’t enrol him in school! You’ve made me responsible for a child that I don’t have the means to take care of! So _for once,_ stop lying! TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON!” Makoto breathed heavily, throat closing tightly as he waited for someone to say something. Anything.

 

There was a long silence before Kisumi spoke again, “You’re right.” He whispered, “I’m sorry.”

 

Makoto nodded, waiting.

 

“I should have told you right away why I pulled him out of that school. It’s just… I was afraid for his safety. I was afraid for _my_ safety. You’ve clearly figured out by now that my parents are crazy… I’ll be honest, this hasn’t been fun for me either, lying to you. I feel really horrible about it. I really do.” He paused again, and Makoto started to wonder if he had hung up.

 

“So?” Makoto prompted, “Tell me the truth.”

 

Kisumi sighed, “Yeah. Okay. So… Have you heard of a place called Meadowgrove?”

 

Makoto’s jaw went slack, “Well… Yeah. Of course.” That was the oralist school Haru had gone to.

 

“It’s pretty bad. I dont’ know if you’ve ever been there before, but the teachers don’t really know what they’re doing, and communication issues are terrible.” Kisumi explained.

 

Makoto frowned, “Yeah, I know.”

 

“Yeah. So, my mom was going to pull him out of Meisei to go to that school. I didn’t want to see that happen, you know? At Meisei he had so much potential to make friends, to be independent, to be happy… It really tore me up thinking about him being sent off to Meadowgrove.”

 

Makoto felt uncomfortable. This was familiar. This was way too familiar.

 

“So I wanted to get him out of there before that happened. I figured if he had a good set up somewhere stable that our parents wouldn’t make him go into that program. So… I took him. Maybe that was irrational, but since he couldn’t do it for himself… He’s a kid, what’s he supposed to do? Figure out the bus system and run away on his own?”

 

Makoto went cold. His fingers tingled in pure shock and rage. It felt like there was a gaping void where his stomach should be, like maybe he had collapsed in on himself under the weight of his own incredulity and offense.

 

“STOP _LYING_ TO ME, DAMMIT!” He screamed into the phone.

 

The girl on the bench jumped.

 

“Did you really think I wouldn’t recognize my own story? How stupid do you think I am?!” His hands shook, “Are you being intentionally patronizing, or is something really so broken in you that you’re starting to actually believe yourself?! Because that’s the only way I can rationalize all these insane, twisting lies you’re telling!”

 

“Makoto!” Kisumi exclaimed, “Are you feeling okay?”

 

“No! I’m not! Because of you I have a child I can’t manage! Because of you, Hayato probably hasn’t known where he was since your mother abandoned him in my class! Because of you, I’ve had to deal with more insanity than I thought the world even contained, and it’s so horrible it makes me feel sick! I should be taking care of Haru, who doesn’t even look like himself anymore! I should be focussing on the children I’m trying to teach a language to! I should be putting my life together, because I really did want kids in the future, and all of this is making me doubt myself!”

 

“Makoto, please listen, you’re being irrational-” Kisumi tried to calm him down.

 

“Hayato’s got abandonment issues! Hayato’s got the emotional state of a three-year-old! Hayato doesn’t understand a single word! You and your family should go to prison! You’ve done _permanent damage_ to this child! Hayato’s chances in life were small already, then _you and your family_ decided to sabotage any ray of hope he might still have! Don’t you _dare_ call me irrational! When your brother ends up in a permanent care home at sixteen, just know that it is _your fault!”_ Makoto didn’t even notice the tears streaming down his face until he opened his eyes to see the wavering water on his phone screen.

 

Kisumi sighed, “I don’t think you’re stable enough to care for my brother. I should come take him back. Please seek help, Makoto. You’re scaring me.”

 

“NO!” Makoto screamed, “I won’t let you anywhere near him! I’ve been far too nice to you, you _psychopath!”_ Makoto hung up, his entire body trembling.

 

The girl on the bench was staring at him with wide eyes, “I…”

 

Makoto wiped his eyes on his sleeve hastily, “You can go if you want, it’s fine.”

 

She clutched Hayato tighter.

 

Makoto shrugged and dialed the number for Meisei’s main office.

 

“Hello, this is Tachibana Makoto. I’m feeling sick today and won’t be able to make it to work. Could you please alert Yamada-san? Thank you.” He hung up.

 

He tried to smile at the girl, “Hi. Thank you for looking after Hayato-kun. I really appreciate it. You can call me Makoto.”

 

“Ch- Chigusa. You know, I really don’t have anywhere I need to be. I can watch him while you figure things out.” She glanced down at Hayato, who was tying his hair in knots. She undid them quickly.

 

Makoto nodded, “I’d really appreciate that. I just have one more call to make, I think.” He dialed Rin’s number.

 

“Oh shit, calling during school hours. What’s up, Makoto?” Rin answered quickly.

 

“Hi, Rin.”

 

Chigusa’s head snapped up at the name.

 

“Did something happen? You caught me between calls, good job.” Rin laughed.

 

“Yeah. Hayato’s grandmother didn’t show up.” Makoto shuffled his feet, letting out excess anger.

 

“Oooh…” Rin sighed, “So what do you do with Hayato, call Kisumi?”

 

“No!” Makoto said quickly, “I can’t. I tried. He’s _insane,_ Rin.”

 

“Yeah… Well, looks like that whole family’s just fucked up, then. I don’t know what to tell you.”

 

Makoto nodded, “So what do I do now? I already called in sick to work, so should I just take Hayato back to mine and Haru’s place?”

 

Rin hesitated, “Makoto… I don’t really want to be the one to say it, but… I think you’ve done all you can. You need to let him go.”

 

_What?? After all of this, he expects me to just give up on Hayato? I can’t do that. I could_ never _do something like that to any kid._ “No way! He’s with me and Haru now! We can find him a good place!”

 

“How?” Rin huffed, “What can you even begin to do? Please, tell me how because I’m really fucking pissed about this whole situation as well. Thing is, you and Haru aren’t his parents. You _can’t_ be. And deep down, you probably don’t even _want_ to be. It sucks, it really does. But you can’t save every child. You just can’t.”

 

Makoto kicked a nearby trashcan so hard it fell over, dumping garbage everywhere, “Of course I can! How can you just give up, Rin?! How could you?! After all you’ve seen, after all you’ve done for Haru-”

 

_“Fuck off!”_ Rin interrupted, “Haru was different and you know it! Think about it, Makoto! If Haru could see and hear, would you still love him?”

 

“Of course I would!” Makoto spat, angry Rin would even question that.

 

“Well, if Hayato could see and hear, would you still be trying to kidnap him from those psychos?”

 

The line went silent as Makoto froze, unsure what to say.

 

Rin broke the silence after a moment. “You wouldn’t. And that’s okay. You love Haru no matter what the circumstance. That’s why he’s different. Hayato is circumstantial. Even if he could see and hear, his life might still be shitty. He may even be exactly like his brother. You wouldn’t be trying to save that child. You can’t just adopt a child because you feel sorry for them. I don’t see you rescuing Kisumi.”

 

Makoto shook his head, “That’s not fair.”

 

“No. It’s not.”

 

Makoto looked over at Hayato,and tried to picture him as any other child, sitting with Chigusa at the bus stop. Suddenly, instead of a Deafblind child, Makoto just saw a child. Someone else’s child.

 

Maybe it _was_ time to be selfish.

 

“Makoto,” Rin called.

 

“Y-yeah?” Makoto stuttered.

 

“Take Hayato to your apartment. Talk to Haru. Make your own decisions, because it’s your life, not mine. Just make sure you don’t do something so dramatic for the wrong reasons. Be cold. Be calculating. Be cruel if you have to. Hayato is lost. It’s not on you to find him.”

  
_It’s not on me… Is it? Is it really over? Is there really nothing more I can do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My babies... :(


	17. Chapter 17

 

The pool was empty except for the three of them. Haru held Hayato under his arms, and was trying to get him to at least float on his own. However, every time he let Hayato go, he just flailed until someone picked him up again. It was noon, and Haru had left work early to decide what their next step was.

 

Really, it was an obvious choice.

 

“We have to give him to his mother.” Haru nodded, pulling Hayato’s shirt off so he could get in the water.

 

“Yeah.” Makoto’s throat was thick, “I think we do.”

 

So, it was their last day with Hayato. They figured that they should at least teach him swimming, if nothing else had been accomplished.

 

In the three-foot side of the pool, Hayato had his hands over his head, and was walking around uncertainly, like he wasn’t sure what was happening.

 

Haru sighed, “It’s water. It’s fine. Relax.”

 

Hayato didn’t relax.

 

“Haru, he looks disgusted.” Makoto informed him, trying not to laugh at Hayato’s expression.

 

Haru frowned, “What’s wrong with him? Is he ill?”

 

“No, I think he’s just confused.” Makoto patted Haru’s shoulder consolingly, “I don’t think his parents took him swimming much…”

 

Haru practically scowled, “I can’t believe we’re giving him back to them.” He tapped Hayato’s shoulder, “It’s water. It’s fine. It’s _water.”_

 

Hayato frowned at him, and smacked Haru on the chest.

 

Haru dumped a cupped-handful on Hayato’s head, _“Water.”_ He turned to Makoto hopelessly, “Do something.”

 

“Haru, not everyone loves-” Makoto broke off, eyes going wide in disbelief. _No way. He’s not… No way._ “Haru! look!”

 

Haru held out his hands in the direction Makoto was pointing.

 

Hayato’s eyes were open wide as he signed water back.

 

Haru’s jaw dropped when he found Hayato’s hands. He nodded, “Water.” He turned to Makoto, “He did it. He signed it.”

 

Makoto agreed, staring at Hayato’s face with a strange mixture of excitement and frustration. _Why now? On our last day you have to go and take such a huge step?_ However, “That’s so amazing! Yeah, Hayato, _water.”_

 

Hayato’s face lit up as he signed it again and again. He grabbed Haru and Makoto’s hands to make sure that both of them could feel it.

 

Makoto and Haru patted him on the shoulders, making sure he knew that, yes, he was right and, yes, they were proud.

 

At the same time, Haru turned to Makoto, “That’s not fair. We have to keep him longer.”

 

“We can’t. There’s nowhere for him to go.” Makoto shook his head sadly, watching the ecstatic child splash in the water he could now name.

 

_He looks like…_ Makoto felt terrible admitting it to himself, but watching Hayato understand… He looked normal. He wasn’t a baby, and he wasn’t a shell. He was an eight-year-old boy just playing in the water.

 

Hayato froze, and smacked himself on the chest, mouth open as he waved to Makoto and Haru desperately.

 

Makoto nudged Haru forward, “He’s… Asking his name.”

 

Haru’s eyebrows drew together in frustration, “Okay.” He took Hayato’s hands, “Ha-ya-to.” He spelled.

 

Hayato slapped himself on the chest a few more times to confirm.

 

Haru spelled the name again.

 

Hayato _repeated it._ He even made sure Haru’s hands were on his, so he knew someone was listening.

 

“He understands.” Haru pulled Makoto over.

 

Hayato’s hands followed Haru’s when he spoke, his mouth still hanging open as he realized what it was for the first time.

 

“This is…” Makoto wasn’t sure if it was amazing or terrible. The sign was the same either way, and Haru seemed to get it. “He’s going to forget, and he’s going to be so frustrated.”

 

“This doesn’t change anything. He still has to go back.”

 

“I know.” Makoto sighed.

 

“Hayato!” Hayato interjected, wanting to be part of the conversation.

 

“Yeah.” Haru patted his head.

 

Hayato snatched Haru’s hand out of his hair and shook it.

 

“Haru.” Haru introduced himself.

 

“Haru.” Hayato grinned, then punched Makoto in the ribs.

 

“Ow…” Makoto took Hayato’s hands, “Makoto.”

 

“Makoto.” Hayato repeated, saying their names over and over, “Haru, Makoto, Hayato, Haru, Makoto, Hayato. Water!”

 

Haru almost smiled, “Water.”

 

Makoto cried out in frustration, since nobody there could hear him, “No! This isn’t fair! It’s not fair! He’s got it! He just needs more time!”

 

Makoto had to step back as Haru talked to Hayato. This was overwhelming. He didn’t want to give Hayato back in the first place, and now… To do so would not only mean putting him back with potentially dangerous people, it meant crushing his brand new understanding of language. It meant destroying him.

 

“Swim!” Hayato exclaimed happily, splashing as Haru demonstrated.

 

Makoto felt like a monster.

 

They swam for another thirty minutes before Hayato got tired. Haru picked him up, and they walked back home together. They only would have a few hours at home before they had to catch a train to take Hayato to his mother. Makoto had her contact information from Meisei, and every second he didn’t call her was painful, but he knew that once he had done it, there was no turning back.

 

“Call her.” Haru insisted, donning his apron to cook some snacks. “There’s no point in waiting.”

 

Makoto sighed, biting his lip, “Yeah. You’re right.” He dialed the number.

 

Three rings. A few minutes of being shouted at. Finally, there were plans to meet her at her place of work.

 

“We’re going.” Makoto told Haru, who was teaching Hayato to sign ‘fish.’

 

“Now?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Okay. Home, Hayato.” Haru told him, “You’re going home.”

 

“Home. Home home home…” Hayato repeated over and over, probably not understanding.

 

Walking to the bus station, Hayato wrapped up in a scarf, clinging to Makoto piggy-back style, it was hard not to mourn for what could have been. Haru held tight to Makoto’s hand, and they looked like the picture of a perfect family.

 

Makoto felt a pang in his heart, because this was truly the end. He got one weekend of having a family with Haru, and then suddenly it was over. Selfishly, he wanted Hayato to stay, to be the child he and Haru would never get to raise. Now they were sending the child they deserved back to the parents that didn’t want him.

 

It wasn’t fair.

 

An old woman on the bus smiled as the little not-family found their seats. “What a cute child you have.”

 

“Thank you.” Makoto tried to smile back.

 

Why not live in the fantasy for a few moments longer? Haru wouldn’t hear him, so who could it hurt?

  
“His name is Hayato.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They deserve a kid more than anyone I know.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, note: the sign for 'amazing' is kind of like a sarcastic version of 'terrible.' It depends on your facial expression which it means. You can think of it as meaning, 'terribly good.'
> 
> It feels kind of like in English saying "great." We've used it so much sarcastically that it's almost got two meanings.


	18. Chapter 18

Mrs. Shigino was sitting at a table in Kissaten Yume, a little local coffee shop. Apparently, she was the owner.

 

Her face broke into a giant smile when she saw Hayato in Haru’s arms, “Hayato! Thank you boys so much for watching him. He can be a real handful, I know.”

 

Makoto interpreted as Hayato’s weight was lifted from Haru’s arms.

 

“Where is he going?” Haru asked.

 

“Hmm? What does he mean?” Mrs. Shigino looked to Makoto.

 

“He’s asking who’s care Hayato will be under since he’s not going back to Meisei.” Makoto signed awkwardly while speaking.

 

Mrs. Shigino laughed, “Well, _mine,_ of course! I’m going to homeschool him! Don’t worry, it’s already been worked out.”

 

Makoto nodded, not quite getting it, “You’re… Wait…”

 

Haru jumped in, “How? You work here all day and his dad’s always out of town. He still needs someone to teach him language. Who’s going to teach him? You?”

 

“Yes, of course! I’ll teach him everything he needs to know. I even learned the sign language alphabet.” She smiled, “Again, thank you for taking care of him, would you like anything to drink? On me, of course.”

 

_Back off. We’re backing off,_ Makoto reminded himself. _It’s bad, but we’re done._

 

Haru tapped him, “What do we do?”

 

“Nothing.” Makoto shook his head, “We’re done, remember?”

 

Haru nodded, and turned to Mrs. Shigino, speaking oddly calmly. “You should probably be arrested for gross neglect. I’d say be careful Hayato doesn’t kill himself someday, but you probably won’t teach him enough for him to even understand the concept. Prepare for behavioral problems and learning disabilities in the future. Hide him from the cops, because they’ll probably take him away from you.” He waved and tugged on Makoto’s shirt for them to leave.

 

“What did he say?” Mrs. Shigino asked.

 

“Umm…” Makoto searched, “He said… goodbye.”

 

“Ah-Ohh…” Mrs. Shigino said airily. “Here, let me get you some coffee for the road, it’s the least I can do.” She set Hayato on a chair and trotted off behind the counter.

 

Hayato squealed, slapping the table.

 

Makoto sat down with him, and spelled his name into Hayato’s hands, “Makoto.

 

“Ma-ko-to!” Hayato repeated. He pointed at himself, “Hayato!”

 

“Yes.” Makoto nodded, patting him. “Ha-ya-to.”

 

He gestured around the room, “Haru?”

 

Makoto pulled Haru over, “He’s asking for you.”

 

Haru nodded, “Haru.” He spelled.

 

“Haru!” Hayato exclaimed, “Hayato!” He pointed to himself.

 

“Yes.” Haru confirmed. “Hayato.”

 

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes.” Hayato repeated in Haru’s hand.

 

“Here you go, boys!” Mrs. Shigino handed Haru and Makoto each a to-go cup of coffee.

 

“Thanks.” Makoto nodded.

 

Mrs. Shigino ruffled Hayato’s hair, and he grabbed her hand, slapping it.

 

Makoto signed, “Mom.”

 

“Mom.” Hayato repeated. He spelled his name into Mrs. Shigino’s hand, “Hayato.”

 

“Oh, that’s his name!” She smiled, “I recognize that!”

 

“He’s introducing himself.” Makoto explained.

 

Mrs. Shigino clasped his hands in hers, “Oh, you know me, baby. I’m Mommy.” She signed it.

 

Hayato pulled his hands free, “Yes. Mom.”

 

“He can talk!” She beamed.

 

“No. He can’t. He just knows names and water.” Haru frowned, “That’s it.”

 

“Ohh…” She hummed, “Okay, he’ll pick up the rest quickly.”

 

“No he won’t.” Haru responded.

 

Makoto chose not to interpret that. “Haru, it’s time to go.”

 

“Okay.” Haru stood up, grabbing onto Makoto’s arm.

 

“Um.. Bye, then.” Makoto waved awkwardly. “Bye, Hayato.” Makoto patted his shoulder.

 

He walked back outside in a daze. It was over so quickly. Makoto swallowed against the lump in his throat as he tried not to think about the fact that Hayato would never know where they had gone.

 

“He doesn’t know we left.” Haru pointed out unnecessarily.

 

“I know.”

 

“He doesn’t know why his mom left him for so long.” Haru continued.

 

“I _know.”_

 

“He’s going to forget everything we taught him. This breakthrough was for nothing.” Haru pointed out even more facts Makoto wanted desperately to avoid thinking of.

 

“I _know, Haru! I know that! Stop!”_ Makoto cried, stopping at the bus station.

 

“Okay. Fine. We’re done, right?” Haru looked at the ground.

 

“Yeah.” Makoto nodded, “We’re done.”

 

Haru sighed, “I’m tired. I’m going to go to bed early.”

 

_Again? He’s been doing nothing but sleep lately._ Makoto’s stomach dropped, “Okay.” _Should I have stopped him? It’s probably fine. It’s better than missing sleep at least. He’s got work tomorrow anyway, so he won’t be able to sleep until noon. This is exhausting. Maybe I’ll just go to bed too… I have work again tomorrow…_

 

For the first time, Makoto found himself dreading going back to Meisei. It would mean facing his failure with Hayato. It would mean looking at all those other children who _did_ get to have an education. It would mean focussing on work when all he wanted to do was fix Haru, and fix Hayato, and fix Mrs. Shigino and Kisumi and the grandmother and the father…

 

Maybe it _would_ be nice just to go to bed early tonight. If only to shut off all the nagging concerns and the _guilt._

 

Maybe Haru had the right idea.

 

They got back home and went through their nightly rituals robotically. Haru’s eyes were always closed nowadays, but Makoto could tell he wasn’t asleep. There was something in the way his chest hitched every time he inhaled that was just unsettled enough not to be sleep. Makoto’s eyes were open, staring at the ceiling blankly. The fact that he was actively repressing his thoughts kept him from falling asleep, which was frustrating, but it was better than thinking.

 

If he thought, he would think of Hayato

 

And the language he would never have.

 

He would think of Haru

 

And the depression that had overcome him since he lost his vision.

 

Haru

 

and Hayato

 

Shigino

 

Meisei

 

Kisumi

 

and parents

 

His _own_ parents who he hadn’t spoken with in ages.

 

His siblings

 

Ren

 

Ran

 

_Kisumi_

 

and Meadowgrove

 

compulsive liars

 

and sociopaths.

 

Makoto shut his eyes tight as if to block out those thoughts that roared against his skull like heavy rain, non-productive- only making him tired and sad.

 

To drive out that noise, he played a song in his head: that song from his childhood, his and Haru’s song.

 

_Over the water, there’s one distant shore_

_Someday we’ll go there, someday I’m sure_

_And I hope hand-in-hand_

_We can touch the fresh sand_

_Of that wise foreign land_

_Because my hands were made for yours._

 

He took Haru’s hand under the blankets. It almost felt wrong not to hold his hand anymore. Without it, Haru was unreachable. So holding his hand felt like safety and comfort.

 

He sang to himself quietly.

 

“Over the water… “

 

_Once we’ve figured all this out,_

 

“There’s one distant shore…”

 

_We’ll have a nice, stable home._

 

“Someday we’ll go there…”

 

_I know I can have that with him._

 

“Someday, I’m sure…”

 

_I know it._

 

“And I hope hand-in-hand…”

 

_We’ll be okay together._

 

“We can touch the fresh sand…”

 

_We’ll figure everything out._

 

“Of that wise foreign land…”

 

_We can be a normal family._

 

“Because my hands were made for yours…”

  
_We deserve that much._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They really do. :'(
> 
> Fun fact: I wrote that song to be easily interpretable into ASL. The concepts are all very ASL inspired. I've been using it for two books now, so I thought I should tell you. :P
> 
>  
> 
> Also, before anyone yells at me: *I* was homeschooled. I know it can be good for many people. Just not these people.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you guys haven't seen my Tumblr post, I'm working on another project, and need some help from an artist. More info 
> 
> http://cassadyflies.tumblr.com/post/109444701951/looking-for-an-artist
> 
> ^^Here^^
> 
> Thanks! <3

Haru’s work days weren’t nearly as long as he stayed at the aquarium. Although he could usually be found in one of the many fishtanks until about seven at night, his actual work day was over at five.

 

Today, however, Haru was counting the minutes. He kept checking his phone, waiting for the little Braille bumps to change and spell 5:00 exactly. He had somewhere he wanted to be.

 

It had been about a week since Hayato had been left with his mother, and the quiet was somewhat unsettling. Haru had almost grown accustomed to the constant familial drama, so it seemed odd that an entire week could go by without a single word. He figured he should check in with Hayato, to see what was going on.

 

Since the start of this whole issue, Makoto had been abnormally anxious and stressed. It made Haru uncomfortable, so rather than cause him even more unnecessary anxiety, Haru had opted to call Rin.

 

While packing his towels and water bottle, someone tapped Haru’s shoulder, then took his hands.

 

“Hey, ready to go?”

 

Rin was here. Good, right on time.

 

Haru nodded, “Yeah. You have your car?”

 

“‘Course. I’m driving. Come on.” He grabbed Haru’s arm and lead him away.

 

It was a fairly short drive to Kissaten Yume, but Haru still tapped his foot impatiently the whole time. At one point, the car stopped (presumably at a stoplight) and Rin smacked him.

 

“Stop it. Stop that. That makes sound, and it’s annoying as hell.”

 

Haru looked away, “Drive faster, then.”

 

Rin didn’t respond.

 

A few minutes later, they pulled around a sharp little turn, and the car rocked to a halt. That meant they were parked. Haru unbuckled his seatbelt.

 

“Mrs. Shigino- Oh! Haru and… Rin, okay, nice to meet you. Where’s Makoto? At his house probably. Oh, I see. So, have you come to see Hayato? Yeah, where is he? Just over here.” Rin signed a slightly confusing string of sentences. It was better when there was more than one signer, but… Haru was used to figuring out who said what at this point. Growing up with Rin, he had gotten good at reading context clues.

 

They walked around behind a table? The counter. They were in the kitchen/coffee making area because the floor was squishy. Rin knelt down, and Haru followed.

 

“He’s sort of… in a pen? With toys and things, it looks like one of those round fences you store babies in at daycares.” Rin explained.

 

Yeah, there was a light, plastic fence that stood about two and a half feet tall. Rin opened it, and brought Haru inside.

 

Tiny hands grabbed Haru’s. “Hayato!” They said.

 

Haru smiled. _He remembers._ “Haru.”

 

“Haru!” Hayato exclaimed, “Hi!”

 

“Hi.”

 

Rin stuck his hands in, “Rin.”

 

“Rin.” Hayato repeated, “Hayato.” He patted his own chest, “That’s me.”

 

“Nice to meet you.” Rin signed slowly.

 

Hayato clapped, trying to copy. Rin put the signs on his hands for him.

 

“Nice to meet you! Nice to meet you!” Hayato figured it out.

 

“He’s pretty smart.” Rin tapped Haru, “He understands how my hands do the same as his. That’s good.”

 

“Swimming?” Hayato asked.

 

“No.” Haru shook his head.

 

“No…” Hayato repeated, not understanding.

 

“Not today. I wanted to see how you’re doing.” Haru continued, “I guess you’re okay.”

 

“Okay.” Hayato repeated. It was strange to see him parrot things, it felt like he understood, but he didn’t.

 

They spent a good hour with Hayato, just talking about nothing at all. Everyone’s hands were all together, and Haru and Rin had conversations, hoping Hayato could sit back and listen. Maybe the concept of words would stick with him, even if he never was able to learn a full language.

 

Eventually, they had to leave. Rin had places to be, and Mrs. Shigino was starting to get a little worried about what was going on. Haru had no idea what she suspected would happen, because it wasn’t like they were just going to walk off with her son. People would see. She would notice.

 

Haru went home that night and didn’t tell Makoto where he had been. He felt guilty, and after all the stress Makoto had been under, it didn’t seem right to drag him back into this. Really, it would only cause damage to say anything.

 

Makoto’s own mental health was more important than honesty.

 

Still, he went back the next day. And the next. And the next.

 

Eventually, Hayato started to expect it, and whenever the gate to his little pen was opened, he would scramble forward with his hands out.

 

In turn, Haru grew to expect this. As soon as he opened the gate, he held his hands out for Hayato, and waited.

 

So, it was strange when it didn’t happen one day.

 

Actually, the whole situation was a little off…

 

Rin hadn’t knelt down with him, and where was Hayato? He was here, right? Haru reached inside, searching for the child. He shook the gate again, in case Hayato had missed it.

 

 

What was wrong?

 

*******

 

Rin just stood there with an open mouth, forgetting about Haru completely, even as he knelt down to greet Hayato like he always did.

 

Hayato was in the back, curled in on himself, looking almost asleep except for the faint wheezing sound of rapid breath.

 

“What’s wrong with him?” Rin called back to Mrs. Shigino, who was overseeing coffee productions.

 

“Hmm? Oh, one moment, please….” Mrs. Shigino hummed, watching as yet another latte was prepared.

 

“What’s _wrong_ with him?!” Rin said louder, drawing the attention of several customers, who peered over the counter curiously.

 

Mrs. Shigino sighed, turning around, “I’m sorry?”

 

Rin wanted to punch her, “I _said,_ what’s fucking _wrong_ with your _son?!”_

 

Mrs. Shigino gazed glazedly at Hayato, putting Rin’s question together with the situation. She then looked back to the customers, whose curiosity was slowly turning to concern. “Oh, it’s nothing!” She assured them, “He has a disability, but he’s fine.” She smiled.

 

This seemed to satisfy everyone but Rin, because they all went back to their business with a sympathetic smirk on their _stupid_ faces.

 

Rin’s eyes widened, “Tell me.” His voice was quiet, but he was dead serious. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Mrs. Shigino laughed musically, “Oh, don’t worry! He just had a little accident, it’s really nothing.”

 

Rin’s heart dropped, he tapped the forgotten Haru urgently, “Hey. Hayato’s hurt. I don’t know why.”

 

Haru stood up, “Why?”

 

“I don’t fucking _know,_ Haru! Hold on a minute.” He turned back to Mrs. Shigino, trying to keep his voice from shaking, “So, does he need to see a doctor?”

 

Mrs. Shigino shrugged, “I’m going to take him tonight after work, I think. Better safe than sorry, right?”

 

Rin shook his head in disbelief, “Now. You take him right when it happens, you don’t _wait._ He’s a child! What happened?”

 

Mrs. Shigino grabbed a cup and filled it with coffee from a pot, “Ah, he fell off a chair! I _told_ him not to climb on it. I told him _several_ times.” She shook her head, “Kids just don’t listen.”

 

Rin forgot how to speak. He wasn’t sure where to even begin. _He doesn’t listen because he doesn’t understand, you should have gotten him off of the chair, you should have taken him to the doctor right away, you should have never had children._

 

He didn’t say any of that, though. What he _did_ say was, “Oh. Oh. I-I…”

 

Mrs. Shigino nodded as if he had said something profound, “Right. You’re sweet to worry, but he’ll be fine. I’ll take him in for an appointment tonight or maybe tomorrow.”

 

_You should have never had children._

 

“I-I… I d-don’t…”

 

“I’m sure he’s just being over-dramatic. You know how kids are.” She smiled as she marked some note on a clipboard posted on the wall.

 

_You are a terrible mother._

 

“H-he’s… B-but…”

 

It was like Rin’s brain had forgotten how to properly form spoken words. He was suddenly reminded of his mother, who had had a stutter all her life. This must be what it felt like.

 

_I wish you cared less about your children. Maybe then you’d let someone better raise them._

 

“P-please-”

 

“You can stay if you want, Rin, I don’t mind. I’m sure Hayato will perk right up when he realizes who it is.”

 

_You should be tried for abuse._

 

“You should be tried for abuse.”

 

_Oh, shit._

 

“Excuse me?” She whirled around, hands on her hips, “I think I know what’s best for my own child. That’s some real ignorant shit you’re spouting there, son. A mother understands her own child. Don’t you have a mother?”

 

Rin shut his eyes, thinking it through quickly, “Yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry. Please let me take you child to the doctor for you?”

 

“No way!” Mrs. Shigino glared, “I don’t trust you with Hayato for another second. Please leave, and don’t come back.” She turned back around, planting her feet squarely away from Rin.

 

_No, no, no… What do I do now?_

 

Haru pulled on Rin’s shirt frantically, unsure what was going on. Hayato breathed painfully in the background. The murmur of customers was _too loud_ because everything they said was stupid and pointless, and why even talk, _why even live_ if all you did was spout stupid pointless shit about the _weather,_ and _your sports team,_ when there was actual problems happening _right in front of your face,_ and nobody seemed to notice or want to help.

 

They were satisfied because there was _always something wrong with Hayato._ This is just his life to them, isn’t it? It’s no big shock if the Deafblind kid is in pain. That’s his _life._ What a tragedy, but there’s nothing you can do, _right??_

 

There’s never anything anyone can do.

 

Because we go through our lives as witnesses.

 

Because helping one out of a billion in pain is pointless.

 

Because someone else will always handle it.

 

Nobody else ever handles it.

 

_Because someone else will always handle it, nobody else ever handles it._

 

And isn’t there a rule that you can’t help a kid because they’re not yours? Why? Why is that a rule? Why does mother always know best? Who told us that, wasn’t it our mothers?

 

What would happen if…

 

Rin picked up Hayato.

 

Mrs. Shigino yelled something. Some rule. Some other stupid rule.

 

Rin took Haru’s hand.

 

Mrs. Shigino tugged on Rin’s shirt.

 

Rin, Haru, and Hayato walked out the door.

 

Mrs. Shigino yelled some more, but…

 

_Huh. What a bitter consequence._

  
They drove away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can always challenge the rules.
> 
> I was allowed to homeschool because we challenged the rules.
> 
> My grandfather avoided the draft because he challenged the rules.
> 
> If something doesn't make sense to you, keep asking questions until it does, or you can reject it.
> 
> You can _always_ challenge the rules.


	20. Chapter 20

“His mother said he fell off a chair.”

 

The doctor inspecting Hayato looked at Rin curiously, “His mother? Are you not his brother?”

 

“No, I know his brother, though. Just fix him, okay?” Rin tapped his foot impatiently.

 

The doctor just stared blankly, her long black hair falling over her eyes, “Isn’t that his brother?” She pointed at Haru.

 

“No, he’s not. Neither of us are his brother.” Rin seriously wanted to punch something. Weren’t doctors supposed to be smart?

 

“Oh… Is he his father?” Her frown deepened.

 

“No! Look, it’s not important, is it?” Rin snapped.

 

“Yes, it is important, actually,” she huffed, “for insurance and legal reasons, I need to know how, ah- Nanase-san is related to Shigino-kun.”

 

Rin shut his eyes, counting to ten slowly before he opened them again. Attempting a calm voice, he said, “He’s not. He’s not in any way related to Shigino.”

 

The doctor just looked confused.

 

Rin sighed, “Yup. Super crazy coincidence, right? _Two entire people_ who are Deaf and Blind, and they’re in the _same room together!”_ He was seriously pissed off and stressed, but he tried to calm himself, “Please, Sensei. Could we deal with this part later? I’m concerned about Hayato.”

 

She shook her head, “Not really. I can’t do anything without a parent or legal guardian here. He appears to have a concussion, and I wouldn’t be surprised if his right wrist and hand were broken. I’d like to scan him, but until I have consent from a guardian, I can’t do that.” She made a check on her clipboard and stood, “If you are seriously concerned, get me in contact with one of his parents.”

 

_Damn it. Damn it, damn it!_

 

“I don’t think I can.” Rin resigned himself to explaining, “The reason I took him here in the first place is that his mother wasn’t lucid enough or whatever to do so. She’s a bit crazy, and I was afraid for Hayato. His dad’s unavailable and worse, so I can’t contact him either.”

 

She nodded calmly, “Okay. In a case like this, I would suggest calling Child Protective Services. I can put you in contact, or have a staff member here bring someone in.”

 

Rin wanted to yell at someone. “No, I can’t do that! If we call them, and Hayato is taken away, his situation gets worse! There’s nobody in his family willing to or capable of taking him, so what if he gets put in foster care? Who’s gonna teach him a language? Nobody will adopt him, because nobody wants him. He’s eight, and he’s deaf, and he’s blind. Nobody wants him.”

 

The doctor nodded maddeningly again, “I see. Well, there are programs out there for disabled and orphaned children that would be happy to accept him. Every child is wanted by someone, I believe that full heartedly.”

 

“No. I don’t want him in a program like that. They don’t do anything for the kids, he’ll just sit there his whole life, not knowing anything. That’s inhumane. That’s cruel.” Rin had to break eye contact before he snapped. “But there is someone who wants him. Nanase does. But he wouldn’t be allowed to adopt him, so it’s moot. I just want Hayato to get this basic care, then Nanase can keep watch on him from the sidelines when we give him back to his mother.” Rin bowed deeply, “Please do this for me!”

 

The doctor crossed her arms, “So there’s nobody who can take custody of Shigino-kun? Even on paper?” She glanced down at her chart, “How about you, are you married?”

 

“No. Nobody is married. Why is that so important, anyway? There’s a perfect family for him, but it can’t happen because his would-be parents aren’t married! I know Haru’s young, and he’s unmarried, and he’s disabled, but I promise he would be Hayato’s best option. Why won’t you guys let this happen?” Rin felt like pulling out his hair, but he controlled himself.

 

“It’s not up to me.” The doctor explained gently, “Sometimes the rules just don’t seem to make sense, do they? But there’s nothing you can do.”

 

_No! There’s always a way around the rules! There’s always a way around! How could anybody ever think otherwise?!_

 

Rin made eye contact again, suddenly determined, “Help me. Help me outside the hospital. As a citizen.”

 

The doctor stared. “I- I don’t…”

 

“There’s _always_ something you can do.” Rin encouraged.

 

“I don’t think that’s allowed.” The doctor shook her head.

 

“Why not??” Rin asked, “Who said so? What’s anybody going to say? ‘Oh, she shouldn’t have helped that injured child because she knows too much about how to help an injured child.’ How is it any different from any other citizen helping another? Please, Sensei!”

 

She looked uncertain, “Well… I suppose that might be alright. I won’t have my machines, though.”

 

“It’s better than nothing, isn’t it? You can fix his arm without an x-ray, and unless things get too severe, you can treat a concussion without a cat-scan.”

 

_Please, please let this work._ Rin begged anyone.

 

She nodded, “Okay. I can see him outside the hospital in a few hours. Get him some acetaminophen from a drug store. Not ibuprofen or aspirin. Let him rest, and don’t make him think too much. I can fix his arm, I suppose. I wish I could test for more severe injuries.”

 

“Thank you so much!” Rin bowed again, “You’re doing the right thing.”

 

He tapped Haru and briefly explained before they walked out the door.

 

“Please call child services, Matsuoka-san!” The doctor called as Rin walked out, “You will only be putting Shigino-kun at risk for future injury. If I find things are too bad, I may be forced to call someone myself.”

 

Rin went cold, but he kept walking.

 

_Well, one problem down. What do I do now? There has to be something… Someone left to call… Nobody’s married. Nobody’s_ straight. _So who’s available?_

 

 

Oh, right.

 

What if…

 

Standing in the parking lot of the hospital, Rin dialed his phone.

 

“H-hello?”

 

“Mom. Hi. I need to ask you something really big…”

 

*******

 

Three hours later, they were at a small restaurant, and Hayato’s arm was in a cast. The pain medication seemed to be helping, because he had the presence of mind to be horrified with the thing on his arm. He was chewing on it like it might eventually wear down.

 

Rin’s mom was at the restaurant too, along with Gou, who was doting over Hayato with wide eyes.

 

“I don’t know if his mom will say yes, but… I have an idea. I just need to know that you’re up for it.” Rin stared at the table as he explained his plan.

 

They never used Japanese as a family. Rin’s mom signed back, “I think you’re likely to fail, Rin,” she admitted, “and this is a pretty strange solution.”

 

Rin nodded, “But could you do it?”

 

She sighed, “Well… if you can get her to agree, I’ll sign the papers. But that’s it. I will not be responsible for him.”

 

“That’s all I need! Thanks, Mom!” Rin felt ten pounds lighter.

 

_Maybe I can make this all work out… One more phone call…_

 

Rin dialed.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Makoto. It’s Rin. I’m with Haru.”

 

*******

 

Rin almost wanted to laugh at the dumbstruck look on Makoto’s face. Almost.

 

“You… kidnapped him? Weren’t you against interfering further?” Makoto signed as Haru clung to him, probably pretty happy to be home and with Makoto after the events of the day.

 

Hayato was laying down on the couch behind them.

 

“Yeah, but then I got pissed off. Fight me.” Rin scowled.

 

“No thanks. I just… Wait, so is Hayato going back to Meisei?” Makoto squinted, still pretty confused.

 

Rin grinned, “Yeah. He might. I just need you to call Kisumi for me, and use your sex appeal to convince him to manipulate his mother.”

 

Makoto’s eyes shot open wide as he blushed, “I’m not- I don’t!”

 

Rin rolled his eyes, “Oh, come on. He’s clearly so in love with you. Since you know him better, I think we have a better chance if you talk to him instead of me. Come on. What happened to never giving up? Use your sexy orca charm.”

 

Haru punched Rin in the shoulder, annoyed.

 

“Calm down, Haru. Makoto’s obsessive, love-struck gazes will not ever turn from you.” Rin rubbed his shoulder. “Also, that hurt.”

 

“I hate Kisumi.” Haru complained.

 

“I know. We all know. The whole world knows. But you like his brother, don’t you?”

 

Haru shrugged.

 

“It’s settled, then. Makoto, if you would, just tell him exactly what I told you.” Rin was trying to keep himself from grinning like an idiot. It really wasn’t the appropriate moment, what with Hayato being concussed, and everything depending on the chance that Makoto could convince a sociopath to convince a compulsive liar to do something she certainly wouldn’t do without the proper manipulation and indoctrination.

 

Makoto’s phone rang three times on speaker mode.

 

“Makoto! Long time no chat. What’s the horrible new development this time?” Kisumi laughed.

 

Makoto took a deep breath, “Actually, I think it’s good news.”

 

“Oh?” Kisumi sounded intrigued, “Go right ahead.”

 

Rin nodded when Makoto looked back at him, nervous.

 

“I think we’ve found a good place for Hayato. He’d be able to go back to school, and you’d be able to visit as much as you want. You could even take him out for weekends if you wanted to.”

 

The last part was a lie, but for the best.

 

“Really? That sounds perfect. Why call me, though? I don’t have anything to do with Hayato anymore, and I thought you were mad at me.”

 

Makoto laughed, a little forcibly, but it was fine. “No, I’m not. I actually wanted to apologize for that. I-”

 

He looked at Rin pleadingly.

 

Rin nodded encouragingly.

 

“Th-Things have been kind of rough at home, and-” Makoto swallowed roughly, “I g-guess I took that out on you.” His expression dripped with guilt, but at least he made it through the sentence. That was vital.

 

The line was silent for a while. “That’s too bad. I totally understand. You know, maybe it’s best if we got together in person to discuss this.” His voice was edged with suggestion.

 

Rin wanted to puke.

 

Makoto nodded shakily, “That might work. Where would you want to meet?”

 

“Hmm…” Kisumi thought about it. “My place? You said things were rough at home, so it might be nice to get out of there for a night, you know?” He _giggled._

 

 

Rin had to cover Haru’s mouth when he growled with jealousy after Rin interpreted Kisumi’s suggestion.

 

“That might be dangerous, Makoto.” Rin signed, warning.

 

Makoto nodded, “What if… Maybe it might be better to meet somewhere else? Like… um…”

 

“Bar.”

 

“Hell.”

 

Rin and Haru offered their suggestions simultaneously.

 

“Like a bar?” Makoto chose Rin’s suggestion.

 

“Because it’d be nice to go out after being cooped up with Haru for so long.” Rin prompted.

 

Haru punched him. Hard. Tears sprung to Rin’s eyes.

 

“B-because I think it’d be nice to go out. I d-don’t really get to do that often.” Makoto modified slightly.

 

“Hmm…” Kisumi sounded a little disappointed. “Yeah, I guess that’s okay. Remember that one bar we all three went to a while back? There sound good? It’s pretty close to my place, so… I mean, it’s convenient for me.”

 

“Yeah. Tonight?” Makoto asked, face to the ground.

 

“Right away. They close at two, so we’ll have plenty of time. See you soon, Makoto!” Kisumi hung up.

 

The clock read 9:30. Damn. How long was he planning to stay?

 

Makoto looked broken. “Haru, I’m so sorry… I feel like a horrible person.”

 

Haru hugged him. Whether protectively or possessively, it was hard to tell.

 

Rin, on the other hand, felt victorious. _That’s another one down. Just one more to go._ He repressed a self-satisfied smile. First the doctor, then his mother, then Makoto, and now Kisumi… He was on a roll tonight. He probably shouldn’t feel so good about it, but… Hey, the little victories, right?

 

_Ah, shit…_

 

Like ten texts from Sousuke he’d forgotten to check.

 

_I forgot I have a life._

 

Whatever. It was fine, now. It was Makoto’s lap in this relay, and if everything went well, Rin could relax for a moment. His turn was over.

  
Now to watch with anticipation.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Makoto...
> 
> Rin is a fan of schemes, I guess.
> 
> I am also a fan of schemes. Schemes are great. Luv it.


	21. Chapter 21

Makoto’s hands shook as he nervously approached the bar. Before he was even fully in the door, there was a pink blur, and a set of arms was wrapped around him.

 

“Makoto! You’re here!” Makoto stiffened, and Kisumi let go.

 

“Y-yeah… So, anyway, I wanted to ask you-”

 

“Hold on, drinks first.” Kisumi grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the bar, and ordering two of something Makoto wasn’t familiar with. The drinks were bright pink, with blue cherries inside, slowly turning it purple.

 

They were sweet, which almost made up for the intense burning sensation. Almost. “Agh, what is this?” Makoto choked.

 

Kisumi laughed, “Yeah, they look harmless, don’t they? Come on, let’s find a table.”

 

The place was fairly crowded, so they settled for one of the long couches that lined the edges of the whole place.

 

Kisumi sat a little closer than necessary.

 

“God, it’s been so long! How are you?” He grinned.

 

“Ah… Yeah. I’m good. How are you?” Makoto asked awkwardly, his head spinning a little from the alcohol.

 

“I’m great. Soooo great! Seriously, I’ve never felt more like an adult. I think I’m finally getting my life together, you know? It’s been so crazy… But I’m out of there! My mom’s place… I feel like I’ve finally escaped. Both emotionally, and, you know, financially…” He sighed, leaning over on Makoto’s shoulder. “You’ve met her. She’s _crazy._ But now I’m out. I’m free.”

 

Makoto nodded, feeling uncomfortable, but also wanting to stay on Kisumi’s good side. “Well, I’m happy for you.”

 

He smiled, “Thanks. She was pretty bad to grow up with. She used to just kind of… forget to feed me. She wouldn’t buy groceries for _weeks._ But she’d never fail to go out partying with her friends.” He laughed dismissively, “But whatever, you know? I survived. I’m out now, so it’s all good. I’d rather have her than, like… Some stuck-up tradition-loving mom. That would be so boring. At least I got some interesting stories to tell.”

 

Makoto just nodded. _Wow… I feel pretty bad for him._ Maybe it was unfair to just call him crazy. Maybe, in another life, Kisumi could have grown up to be a normal, rational person.

 

“Speaking of stories, one time I went to work with her at the coffee shop… Eh, I think I was about ten? And this guy in the music business or something came in. Apparently he was a regular, and my mom had kind of taken to him. So since she had pulled me out of school for the day, but didn’t really have anything to do with me, she sent me off with him. He and some guys worked in a storage garage by the bay, and I spent the whole day with them. I got drunk for the first time, and this one dude with a missing pinky taught me how to play the drums.” He took Makoto’s hand, “So, it wasn’t all bad. I got to do some pretty cool stuff.”

 

_That just sounds really irresponsible._ Makoto frowned, but tried to sound positive, “Yeah… That sounds pretty fun, Kisumi.”

 

He nodded, “It was. Still, I don’t regret cutting contact with her. She was insane, and caused me a lot of harm before I left. My dad too. I blame them both for Hayato’s illness progressing as far as it did. I remember it really well.”

 

Saddened, but curious, Makoto couldn’t prevent himself from asking, “Yeah? What happened?”

 

Kisumi sighed, “It was when we were in our third year at university. I got a call from my mom saying to come home to take care of my brother. He was sick, but she didn’t know why. I went home to visit as much a I could during that time. It got pretty bad. I had to take him to the doctor eventually, because he would just cry all night. Apparently, he had chronic meningitis. We had let it go on for months before taking him in, and there was already a lot of damage. I wanted him to get treatment, but we didn’t have insurance and my mom was afraid of doctors at the time or something… I don’t know.” Kisumi took Makoto’s other hand in his, “One day he just stopped walking. I came home one weekend to find him just lying on the floor screaming. He had a really bad fever, so I iced his forehead and gave him some medicine, but…” He shrugged, “He didn’t stop screaming. For days. I ended up missing school for a week because I had to take care of him. Eventually, he exhausted himself, and he fell asleep for the first time in like, three days. I took him to the emergency room when my mom was out, and they kept him for a couple nights to treat him before I had to go back to school. I don’t know how long he was in the hospital, but I don’t think my mom even once asked where he was.

 

“It was another year before we figured out he was deaf and blind. I think my mom just thought he was stupid.”

 

Makoto’s chest clenched, _That’s… so horrible._ “Kisumi, I-”

 

“Yeah. It’s fine. The way I see it, Hayato died of that illness years ago. I was pretty dumb to think I could save him now.” He looked away.

Makoto felt like he’d been slapped in the face. It almost seemed wrong to hate Kisumi now, after learning all this. “What if-”

 

“Dance with me.” Kisumi interrupted, pulling Makoto up, “Come on.”

 

“Wait, I-” Makoto began, but was quickly silenced by the shock of Kisumi’s arms around him.

 

The music roared to life in Makoto’s ears where he’d been ignoring it before. Kisumi pulled him over to some dark corner of the bar, where nobody would really pay attention to them. Before Makoto could really say what was happening, Kisumi’s cheek was pressed against his, and they swayed together, both hearts beating rapidly against each other.

 

Makoto tried to protest, “Hey, I can’t, I’m-”

 

“With Haru. I know. So what?” Kisumi pulled back a little to look at him, “Haru can’t give you everything. No one person can. So let me help.” He pulled Makoto closer, running his fingers through his hair.

 

“Please, Kisumi…”

 

“Sure.” Smirking, Kisumi kissed Makoto lightly, then pulled away with his eyes closed.

 

Makoto just stood there, frozen, the music and dancing completely forgotten.

 

_Oh my god, did I just cheat on Haru?_

 

Sudden guilt weighed in his chest.

 

Kisumi must have noted the look on his face, “Sorry.” He sort of chuckled, “I didn’t think I’d get another opportunity.”

 

_What do I do?_

 

“Makoto, don’t freak out. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He put a hand on Makoto’s cheek, “Seriously. Sometimes you’re way too good a guy. I guess that’s why I like you, though.”

 

_He what._

 

“You’re really nice. That’s so unusual, so I guess… I don’t know, I just don’t see people like you every day.” He wrapped his arms back around Makoto’s waist, resting his forehead against Makoto’s shoulder. “And you even like guys, so that’s some sort of miracle. I’ve had kind of a hard time getting you out of my system ever since we met. You know, for years I prayed Haru would turn out asexual, because you always clearly liked him more. Even after you guys started dating, I kind of thought… well, there was always the chance you’d need someone else for the, ah, not-romance side of your relationship. I guess I never completely gave up on that hope.” He laughed, “Ah well.”

 

“I-I… Uh…” Makoto wasn’t sure what should be done. He really just wanted to run away and hide, but there was still something he had to do. For Hayato’s sake.

 

As if reading his mind, Kisumi took a step back and answered, “This isn’t why you’re here, though, is it? Why don’t you tell me why you came?”

 

Makoto swallowed his guilt and anxiety, nodding, “I think there’s a way to get Hayato back in Meisei.”

 

Kisumi sighed, “I really don’t think it’s any use. My mom will always pull him out again. That’s just how she is. Do you have any idea how many schools I was in and out of?”

 

“No, that’s just it,” Makoto continued, “He won’t be with your mom. We have a place for him to go. With someone who knows how to treat a deaf and blind child. She practically raised Haru.”

 

Kisumi looked interested, “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Makoto nodded, gaining confidence, “And she’ll have him back in Meisei full time as well. All you have to do is convince your mother to give up custody.”

 

Kisumi rolled his eyes, “No way. That won’t happen. She won’t let him have any other parent.”

 

Makoto nodded, still pretty confident, “But what if you told her it wasn’t a parent, but an organization? A school that takes deafblind children and gives them an education. Do you think she’d sign the papers then?”

 

Something sparkled in Kisumi’s eyes, “Actually… She might. If you say it’s official, she might actually believe it.”

 

Makoto smiled, “It would be, too. Official means nothing, when you really think about it. And it is an organization. It’s run by two interpreters, and an educator of the deaf. The only thing you’d have to avoid saying is the amount of students actually enrolled. Because it’d only be one. Just Hayato.”

 

Kisumi’s smile grew slowly, “Yeah. Haru’s an alum too, isn’t he?”

 

“Yeah. He is.” Makoto grinned, “The best part is, it’s totally free. Consider it a charity organization.”

 

“This… Might actually work.” Kisumi frowned in thought, “That’s really not a bad idea. I’ll talk to her.”

 

“Great!” Makoto beamed, “Thanks, Kisumi!”

 

“Thank _you,_ Makoto. Let’s give Hayato one more try.” He grabbed Makoto’s hands, and Makoto suddenly remembered his guilt.

 

“Y-yeah. One more.” His smile faltered a bit.

 

_So now I can go back to Rin and tell him I was successful… And I also have to go back to Haru and tell him… Everything. I have to tell him everything._ Makoto’s heart sunk as he decided. _That’s only fair. He didn’t want me coming out here in the first place._

  
_Ugh. I don’t want to be here anymore, but… I really don’t want to go home either._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Kisumi's parents made him this way, someone must have made _them_ that way too. I wonder what happened?


	22. Chapter 22

 

“Hey, Mom.” Kisumi answered perkily when his mom picked up the phone.

 

“Kisumi. How are you?” His mother answered with a smile in her voice.

 

“I’m good. I’m really good. You?” He stalled, unsure how to approach the topic.

 

“Fantastic. I started this new yoga class. Hayato gets kind of bored, but what can you do? He needs his mommy to be healthy, doesn’t he?” She laughed airily.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, hey Mom, I was thinking…” _Ugh, how do I say this?_ “Um… So you know Hayato?”

 

“...Yes.”

 

“Yeah. Well… See I know you’re into all those cool sorts of alternative schools, and… You know a lot about them, and education and stuff. So I was thinking…” _Stressful. She’s so stressful._ “I was wondering your opinion on this little school I found. I’m sure you’ve heard of it? It’s called… Ah… Suijin Gakuen?”

 

She paused, “I may have heard of it.”

 

“Yeah. Well, apparently, they accept a small number of deaf and blind students in their program. You know Nanase Haruka?” _She is painful to talk to._

 

“Yes. I know him.” She sounded bitter.

 

 _Eh… Maybe be more careful with Haru’s name._ “Yeah… Well, I guess this is what he did. It worked out great for him. He’s kind of an irritating guy, but… I mean, he has his life together. That’s pretty amazing in itself.”

 

“Hmm.” She hummed, disinterested.

 

 _She’s so transparent… Obnoxious._ “Yeah. Well, it’s a really good program, and they take the kids and give them the best education they can, all for free since it’s a charity thing I guess. So anyway, point is, there’s this kid in Tachibana Makoto’s class who’s a candidate. Her mom’s asking my advice since I’m Hayato’s brother, and before I let her know, I was wondering what you thought of the program?”

 

_Bullshit. She’s so easy._

 

“Oh. Another student. I see.” She paused for a moment, “Well… Actually, I’ve been looking into enrolling Hayato in that program, so I recommend it. What are her thoughts? You know, on the enrolling process.”

 

_So easy._

 

“Yeah, sure. Well, there’s an easy way to enroll through Meisei, or if you know someone who goes there or something, they can help you get in.”

 

“Hmm… Okay.”

 _Perfect._ “Yeah. It’s an interesting approach, because they take full responsibility for every aspect of the kid’s life. It’s supposed to be super wholesome and natural? I don’t know, you tend to be a good judge of that, so since you’re thinking of enrolling Hayato, I guess you think it’s good to do that.”

 

_Goddamn. I’m transparent too. It’s almost frustrating how she doesn’t see it._

 

“Yes. Absolutely. I support all of that. I think it’s the way humans were meant to live.” She insisted quickly.

 

“Yeah! That’s exactly what I said. I’m glad to see we agree on this. Well, cool, thanks Mom. I’ll call Tachibana Makoto and tell him to enroll that other girl in the program.” _Pause for a second._ “Oh, if you want, I could put a good word in for Hayato. I don’t know if you’ve done your interview yet, but someone should be able to come out to your house…”

 

“I haven’t done the interview yet. Actually, I was just about to call Meisei and ask to set one up.”

 

 _No, wait…_ “Oh, no need. I’ll do that when I call Makoto. Tomorrow sound okay?”

 

“Sure. Thank you, that’s so sweet.”

 

 _Alright, good._ “Sure, no problem, Mom. See you later, okay?”

 

They hung up.

 

_Wow. I kind of want to scream now. She makes me so angry… How could a single person be so incredibly stupid??? Stupid and boring and bad at making decisions and raising children… But most of all stupid and boring. The ultimate combination of suckiness. I wish she’d get back on drugs so she could at least be interesting again. Maybe that would make up for her complete lack of intelligence or sense of self._

 

_I should call Makoto… I wonder if he told Haru I kissed him. Probably. He’s such a good guy it’s sickening sometimes. I bet Haru’s pissed at me now. Even more so than usual. It’s so unfair that Haru gets a guy like that, despite his flat affect and weird water fetish. At least Hayato smiles. Hayato’s interesting… Maybe I shouldn’t let him go off with the Matsuokas. I’d never get to see him again, probably. That would suck. I wonder if he’s intelligent too? I’m so glad I got my dad’s brain… He’s boring, but at least he’s not so goddamn impressionable. Just a very small bundle of anger and intelligence, resulting in violent outbursts…_

 

Kisumi ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. “I guess I’ll call Makoto.”

 

Makoto picked up on the fourth ring. So predictable.

 

“Hello? Kisumi?”

 

“Yeah. Hey. I talked to my mom.” He sat down on the couch with another long sigh.

 

“O-oh… Okay. How did it go?”

 

“Hmm, you know. How’s Haru?” That was the interesting part. His mom was boring. Haru and Makoto had drama at least.

 

“Haru? Ah… He’s standing right here. He’s kind of mad at me right now…”

 

Kisumi laughed, “Damn, that sucks. Sorry about that. Guess his true colors are showing, huh?”

 

“Huh? Oh, I don’t know… I think he’s justified to be mad right now.”

 

 _Good guy. Urgh._ “Yeah, maybe… So, you told him everything?”

 

There was a pause, “Yeah. But what did your mom say about Hayato?”

 

 _This again… Whatever._ “She agreed. Do you think someone who looks official could make it over to her place sometime tomorrow? Oh, I named the school Suijin Gakuen, just so you know.”

 

“Okay… I could come over in the evening, or I could maybe see if Rin’s mom wanted to-”

 

“No, you’ll be best. I’ll be there too. I gotta make sure you keep my lies straight.” _He’s not the best liar… poor guy. Comes with being so nice._

 

“You… How much did you lie about? You shouldn’t have really needed to lie that much.”

 

“You forget my mother’s crazy.” Kisumi laughed, “She requires very specific manipulation.”

 

“Oh… Okay- Ouch, stop it- Okay, I have to go. Stop it! I’m hanging up! I have to go. Haru’s- Enough! Okay, I have to go. Bye, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hung up.

 

“Bye…” Kisumi responded as the disconnected phone buzzed.

 

Well, tomorrow would be interesting at least...Interaction between his mother and Makoto… That would be pretty fun to watch. Plus, Haru wouldn’t be there, which was always good… But Hayato would, which would be nice… Yeah. Tomorrow would be a good day.

 

… What if his dad showed up… Wouldn’t that be terrible? Everyone would be yelling and fighting over Hayato. Makoto might cry. His mom might throw something. Everyone was just crazy, and anything could happen.

 

Exciting, right?

 

 _I should prepare for anything. I’m gonna wear my blue shirt with the purple hem. I think it will make Makoto subconsciously think about Haru, but he’ll be looking at me, so… Eh, even if I can’t make that association happen, I’ll still look cool. I like that shirt. Maybe I shouldn’t sleep tonight. Makoto’s definitely the kind of guy who likes to ‘help’ people. Plus, it’s not so weird that I’m missing sleep. I_ am _worried about my brother, after all. So it makes me look both sympathetic and stressed out. My hair’s always messy, and that works too. I can’t even sleep because I’m so busy dealing with all these crises, and my family’s crazy, but I’m the sane one who has to deal with them and a disabled brother as well._

 

 _I almost wish Haru could be there to see Makoto get invested in me. Well, he can’t see at all, so I guess there wouldn’t be a point. He’s so obnoxious… He doesn’t even_ do _anything. He just has this normal life with nothing going on. Why does Makoto like him so much? He’s boring. Plus, he’s all depressed now. He’s not even subtle about it. Just radiating depressed energy. I want to hit him._

 

_I’m way more interesting than him. He’s acting all dragged down by losing his vision. Seems so weak. I had to deal with my messed up life too, and I came out sane and successful._

 

_I think it’s better to overcome the odds and look victorious than to get pity by looking broken._

  
_How boring._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, Kisumi's the _sane_ one. We should all give him tons of praise and love.
> 
> This chapter was a brain dump of my Kisumi personality. I though it would be fun to do this part from his POV.
> 
> I ended up just getting pissed at him.
> 
> I still like him, though.
> 
> He's interesting.


	23. Chapter 23

 

She signed the papers. Makoto didn’t want to believe it until it happened, but it did. She signed the papers passing legal guardianship and custody to Rin’s mom.

 

It didn’t take five minutes. Makoto didn’t have to say a word. She smiled, and Makoto walked out of the house with a pat on the back from Kisumi, and a frowning Hayato in his arms.

 

“Thanks, Makoto. Let me know how he’s adjusting, going back to Meisei.” Kisumi smiled as Makoto walked off in a daze.

 

“Y-yeah… Okay.” _No way. No way. I don’t get out this easy. Something bad’s going to happen now._

 

“Oh, hey, Makoto-” Kisumi called.

 

_Here we go._ “Yeah?”

 

“I just wanted to say sorry. You know, for what I did before. I shouldn’t have done something so inconsiderate.”

 

_Oh. That’s… nice._ “Um… It’s fi- ah… Thanks. Thanks.”

 

Kisumi nodded, leaning against the doorframe. His blue shirt complementing his pink hair. He looked like cotton candy. “I know Haru probably wants nothing to do with me, but… I feel really bad, so…” He sighed, “I don’t know what to say, sorry. I’d like to make it up to you, but I’m not sure I can.” He ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more.

 

Makoto shifted Hayato up on his hip higher, “Um… Yeah… Don’t wor-... Ah… Well…” _No, it’s not fine. Don’t tell him it’s fine._ “Let’s just leave it here, Kisumi. You don’t have to do anything to fix it.”

 

Kisumi nodded, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept. Maybe for a long time. _Does he really feel that guilty? Maybe he’s just been worried about Hayato… This feels wrong… He’s showing this too much. It looks… wrong._

 

“If...If you ever need a babysitter or something…” He laughed, “I promise I won’t steal him again.” He yawned, rubbing his eyes again.

 

_Wrong. Why is that wrong? It’s wrong._

 

“O...Okay… I’ll let you know.” Makoto nodded awkwardly, shifting Hayato again as he kept slipping.

 

Kisumi nodded, blinking several times- like he was sad? He didn’t really look sad. His eyes were flat.

 

_Wrong. Why is it wrong?!?_

 

“Goodbye, Makoto.” No. The word was clunky. It didn’t fit like regular speech. Almost like wishing ‘farewell.’ It wasn’t right.

 

“Bye.” That’s a better word. More natural. _Isn’t it? Am I looking too much into things? Maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see. I really want a reason to hate him like Haru does. I wish I could hate someone like Haru can._

 

Makoto walked away, feeling Kisumi watching him the whole time. Hayato balled his fists in Makoto’s shirt, biting down on his arm.

 

_Ouch. Back to biting again? We have work to do._

 

_He didn’t even want to stand back there… And he’s biting again. And Kisumi is fake for some reason… And…_

 

Why had Mrs. Shigino been so gladly consenting? _Why??_

 

It was too easy. It wasn’t supposed to end this way. Makoto wished he had Rin and Haru’s reasoning abilities. They probably would have figured out exactly _why_ right away.

 

All Makoto could say is that it _felt_ wrong. Mrs. Shigino was too smiley, Kisumi was acting, and Hayato was biting like he had before.

 

And it just felt wrong. Something had happened. Something had happened to the Shiginos that had made them behave this way.

 

Or… Maybe Makoto was just seeing what he thought should be true. After all, he had no actual evidence, only a strange nagging sensation deep in his gut.

 

_Wrong._

 

_Wrong._

 

_Wrong._

 

What happened to Mr. Shigino? He had been so insistent, and now he was gone. Why had Kisumi given up Hayato so easily to his grandmother? Why had he really taken Hayato in the first place??

 

Were these really just loose ends? Was it really over? Was Makoto just remembering wrong?

 

Could he really be making all of the insanity up?

 

It was so easy to believe that it had been him all along. He did that sometimes, put too much thought into the emotional motives of other people. Actually, he did that all the time. It was a constant flow of weird feelings followed by self doubt, frequently ending in regret that he hadn’t trusted his gut to begin with.

 

But asking directly was out of the question. It would be inappropriate and most likely fruitless to simply walk back in and ask why all this had happened the way it did.

 

Why was it like this instead of some other way?

 

There had to be a reason. There was always a reason.

 

Could people really make such bad decisions for no reason at all?

 

It didn’t make sense.

 

Makoto stood at the bus stop, having somehow walked all the way back there without noticing.

 

His phone rang.

 

“Kou?” He answered after four rings, kind of surprised.

 

“Ah, actually, it’s Chigusa.”

 

_Who? Do I know a Chigusa?_ “Um… Sorry, do you have the wrong number? This is Tachibana Makoto.”

 

“I know.” Chigusa answered firmly. “I met you at the bus stop a while ago. I watched Hayato while you yelled at people on the phone.”

 

_What?... Oh. Right._ “Oh! Chigusa! I remember you!... Wait… You know Kou?”

 

“Yeah, she’s an old friend.” She laughed, “Sorry if this is weird, I got a little curious when I heard you say Rin’s name on the phone. I started asking Kou about Hayato, and then I realized, my dad works with Mr. Shigino, Hayato’s dad. I must sound like a total creep for calling you, but… I don’t know, I talked to Kou, and she talked to Rin, and then she gave me her phone and told me to call you. Mr. Shigino hasn’t been to work in six months. My dad thought he was fired or quit at first, but he’s still on the employee list. Rin thought this was weird, I guess, and Kou said Rin said he was worried about you, since you’re going to the Shigino house later? So she told me to call you. Sorry if this is weird. Gou- sorry, Kou’s with me, and she’s glaring at me right now, I don’t know what I said… Shut up, I said what you told me. Anyway, I hope this makes sense?”

 

_It just means he’s been off work, right? It doesn’t mean anything to me. Why would Rin want me to know this?_

 

“Actually, I already left the Shigino house. I got Hayato. It’s all fine now.” The bus pulled up, and Makoto swiped his bus pass as he got on.

 

“Really?” Chigusa hummed curiously, “Kou, he says he already left. Stop it, I don’t know sign language. What are you saying?”

 

“It’s literally just phone. You know that word. It’s obvious.” Kou’s muffled voice was distinctly annoyed. “Gimme.” There was a shuffle over the line. “Makoto, it’s Kou.” Her much clearer, louder voice rang out.

 

“I already talked to the Shiginos, I have Hayato. He’s… I guess he’s your brother now.” Makoto re-explained.

 

“Hm. Okay. Well, Rin said something like, ‘If his dad hasn’t been working, and the mom works in a coffee shop…’ ah, something about private school. I don’t know, there were a lot more ‘fucks’ and ‘shits’ thrown in, ‘cause he doesn’t know how to be sparing with his curse words.” She sighed, “So maybe call him? Or not. Just drop Hayato off with me, I made pancakes. Chigusa and I are going to look after him this evening.”

 

_Maybe I will get to find out why._

 

“Okay. I’m on my way to your house now, so that’s fine, I’ll talk to him later…” A young girl about Hayato’s age was staring at the boy curiously from over the back of the seat in front of them.

 

“Okay. See you soon, Makoto.”

 

“Bye.”

 

She hung up.

 

“Is he asleep?” The little girl asked.

 

Makoto smiled, “No, he just keeps his eyes closed because he’s blind. I think he forgot how to open them.”

 

Her eyes widened, “He forgot? That happens? What does blind mean?”

 

“His eyes don’t work. Don’t worry, so long as your eyes work, you won’t forget.” Makoto patted Hayato’s head, and he frowned.

 

“Ohh…” The little girl breathed, “My big sister wears glasses. My eyes are good, but I’m seven. Is he your son?”

 

“No. He’s the brother of a friend of mine. I’m taking him home right now.” Makoto answered.

 

“Oh. My mom has two daughters, and no sons. Also my dad. Are you married?” She puffed up her cheeks and drummed on the back of the plastic seat.

 

“No, I’m not. Are you?” Makoto smiled at her.

 

“No. One time a boy from my school gave me a plastic dinosaur and told me he was gonna marry me, but I said ‘gross.’” She stuck out her tongue.

 

“Good call,” Makoto nodded, “You should probably wait until you’re a little older. At least ten.”

 

She nodded seriously, “Yeah. My best friend got married once, but she didn’t like it, so she gave him back his bracelet. Do you have a girlfriend?”

 

“No, I have a boyfriend. He’s blind too.” Makoto explained.

 

She opened her mouth wide, “Really? Boys have boyfriends? Can girls have girlfriends?”

 

Makoto nodded, “Sure. There’s not actually a rule.”

 

“Wow.” She gazed off into the distance with the new revelation, “I thought there _was_ a rule. That sounds better,” She nodded decidedly, “Boys are gross.”

 

Makoto nodded, “Yeah, they can be, huh?”

 

She squinted, “Maybe you’re not gross. But you’re a grown up. Grown ups aren’t gross.”

 

“Grown ups can be gross too. Anyone can be gross. There’s not a rule on that either.” Makoto thought about the Shiginos.

 

“Oh.” She frowned, “Then how come grown ups get to make all the decisions?”

 

Makoto shrugged, “I don’t know.”

 

She huffed, “That’s not fair.”

  
Makoto agreed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone can be gross.


	24. Chapter 24

 

Two days later, and nothing terrible had happened.

 

Hayato was back at Haru and Makoto’s place, where he spent every night. He was making cubes out of clay and stacking them. So far, he had almost twenty little cubes in two tall towers on the kitchen table. Makoto was watching absentmindedly as Haru cooked dinner.

 

The TV was on in the background, since there wasn’t anyone to talk to, but the sounds bounced right off Makoto’s ears and went back into oblivion. He was thinking about the situation they were in. It seemed alright, so far. Hayato was picked up at Meisei in the morning by Rin’s mom, and was dropped off at the same place with Makoto in the evenings, when he came home. They still had to work out the rest of the situation with Meisei and Mrs. Shigino before Hayato could be officially re-enrolled.

 

The only strange thing was what Rin had said. Mr. Shigino hadn’t been working for six months. It didn’t quite make sense how they could be affording a private school like Meisei. Maybe that’s the real reason Hayato had been pulled in the end.

 

_But Kisumi was the one to originally take him, so… Did he know? Was he doing it on purpose? I can’t even keep his lies straight anymore. His parents certainly didn’t tell him to do it. So why…?_

_And where did Mr. Shigino go? I haven’t heard from him since that one time… he used my phone. It’s all so fuzzy now. It seems like forever ago. I thought he would be more of a problem than he turned out to be… Kisumi seemed so scared…_

_He was kind of a stalker, though. He figured out so much about me and Haru. Well… he missed his gender… Pretty weird._

_Maybe… Ah, it’s useless. I’ll never be able to guess the real reason behind all of this. I guess sometimes it really is just delusional people doing delusional things._

 

“But you’re going to be okay, right Hayato?” He cooed at the boy who, of course, didn’t hear him. “Since you won’t be raised in that family, you’ll turn out sane and rational.”

 

_He has to. Definitely._

 

“We’ll get you talking, and teach you to do things for yourself… I bet someday you’ll be a completely functional, independent adult. You can have an apartment, or even a house, and you can have a job, and maybe you’ll fall in love and get married and have children.”

 

_Maybe I’m looking too far ahead._

 

“We’ll teach you to talk. That’s the important thing. If you can sign, and maybe if you can read, you’ll be okay. Don’t worry about having your own place. You can stay with us as long as you want.”

 

_You have a way bigger family, now. You have a mom, and two dads, and a sister, and a brother… and maybe Kisumi will come see you again. Then you’ll have two brothers. Maybe when Haru and I are a little older, you’ll have even more siblings. But for now-_

There was a knock on the door.

 

“Haru, they’re here.” Makoto informed him, then Hayato, before opening the door.

 

“ONII-CHAN!!!” The (now fifteen year old) twin’s cried.

 

“Hey, guys!” Makoto stumbled, trying not to topple under their combined force.

 

Ren and Ran dashed into the apartment, looking around.

 

“Haru-chan’s here, and NO WAY, IT’S HAYATO, HE’S SO CUTE!” Ran trotted over to him, patting his elbow like Makoto had told her over the phone.

 

Hayato looked up from his clay block tower, and stuck out his hands- a behavior they had practiced extensively over the past couple days.

 

“He looks like Haru, doing that.” Ren commented, standing close behind his sister.

 

“Yeah, well, Haru taught him that.” Makoto explained, smiling proudly as Ran introduced herself.

 

“I’m taking Sign Language in high school as an elective. I’m the best one in my class,” Ran boasted, watching closely as Hayato spelled his name back.

 

“You do have a bit more experience,” Makoto nodded.

 

“Mhm,” she nodded, “I told the whole class that my brother-in-law is deaf and blind, and then all during lunch after that people asked me tons of questions about him.” She looked pleased.

 

“English is hard enough,” Ren huffed, “I think that I should be able to drop English since I can do Sign Language. That seems fair.”

 

“You _could_ speak _three_ languages,” Ran stuck out her hip at him, “Then all the girls would fall in love with you because they’d think you’re smart.”

 

Ren looked conflicted.

 

“Done.” Haru smacked the counter and pointed at several lined up plates.

 

“Everyone come get your food.” Makoto thanked Haru and took his plate for him.

 

“I got Hayato’s!” Ran bounced over, taking both her’s and Hayato’s meal. She sat down on the seat next to him, ruffling his hair. “He’s so cute… Woah, hey- am I his aunt?”

 

Makoto frowned, “Um… I don’t think so… Maybe? He’s not really my son, so…”

 

“Yes he is,” Ran insisted, “You deserve him most.”

 

Makoto smiled sadly, “It’s not really about _deserve…_ If that were true, the Shigino’s wouldn’t have gotten him in the first place.”

 

“Whatever,” she shrugged, “I want him, so you need to take him. I want to be his aunt. He’s so cute!” she squealed, handing him a piece of carrot.

 

Hayato just stared at the ground like he always did, but it seemed a fitting reaction.

 

“This is a weird family,” Ren spoke up, “I mean, it’s good, but… It can’t really use the same titles as a normal family, can it? There’s not mother, father, or son. It’s just… You guys.”

 

_Huh. Yeah._ Makoto nodded, “Right… Well, we came about this family in a less-than-normal way.”

 

“It worked though.” Haru shrugged.

 

“Yeah,” Makoto smiled, “It did.”

 

“I’m hungry.” Hayato griped, slamming his fist on the table.

 

Ran put a fork in his hand. They could work on chopsticks later… it was hard enough getting him to awkwardly stab his food with an actual utensil. The act of gripping something he couldn’t see from either side with two thin sticks was a bit much to ask at this point.

 

Hayato threw the fork on the ground anyway.

 

“No, I want to eat.” He insisted, folding his arms.

 

“This _is_ eating.” Ran tried to explain, picking the fork up with a sigh, “You can eat like this-” She tried to help him.

 

“No! I don’t like that!” He stuck his fingers in his mouth, blocking her from feeding him.

 

Makoto sighed, “Don’t worry… He never got to go through the terrible twos… He’ll eat it eventually. When he gets hungry.”

 

Ran nodded with concern, “Okay… You’re the boss, dad-ish.”

 

“Ish…” Ren echoed bemusedly.

 

“This is a very -ish family.” Ran explained, “They’re married-ish, they’re dad-ish,”

 

“Makoto’s Deaf-ish.” Haru added.

 

“What?” Makoto raised an eyebrow at him.

 

Haru shrugged, “You are.”

 

Ran giggled, “That’s sweet.”

  
Makoto laughed, “Haru’s sweet… ish…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! I did a happy fluffy chapter. :D :D :D :D ImI/
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> See you next chapter.


	25. Chapter 25

A couple weeks passed without incident. More papers were signed, and more signs were taught. Hayato was communicating far more effectively, and his biting habit had been reduced to almost nothing. And also- he was finally going back to Meisei.

 

Makoto was proud of him.

 

All day, he bustled about, slamming his cane against various surfaces as he sought out new playmates to introduce himself to. The other children were happy to meet him, and even though Hayato was a little behind the rest in terms of language acquisition, they still made sure to include him wherever possible. The girls in particular liked him. Maybe because he was new, or maybe because he was blind, but for whatever reason, a flock of girls was constantly surrounding him, treating him like a babydoll.

 

Hayato was happy for the companionship.

 

It was good that he was getting so much diverse language input from his classmates. That more than anything would speed up his language skills. Still, though, at the end of the day, Makoto took him home. Every evening, Haru made sure to spend some time with him, teaching him stuff like the Braille alphabet, walking with the cane, chopsticks, and some things Makoto would have never thought needed to be so specifically taught. For example, remembering the way to the bathroom. Makoto just knew the way. He would look, and there it was. Always. Haru taught Hayato how to count his steps. The whole apartment needed to be mapped out mathematically. The living room was fifteen Hayato-steps across (five Haru-steps). The sofa was about seven Hayato-steps from the north side of the living room, and the kitchen was on the south side, eight Hayato-steps from the sofa.

 

Five Hayato-steps was about one Haru-step, and about two thirds of a Makoto-step. Makoto learned his relative distances too, not just for interest, but also it helped him better understand how Hayato (and Haru) experienced things. Also, it would be easier to explain things to Hayato if Makoto knew how the whole counting thing really worked.

 

Eventually, Hayato shouldn’t have to count the apartment. It would just be rote memory. However, learning this skill was something that would help him forever. Some day, he would learn how many teenage-Hayato-steps it took to get from the building to the bus station, or the convenience store next door.

 

He would memorize how many times the bus jolted to a stop before it was time to get off. He would learn that grocery stores tend to be laid out in a similar pattern, and he would memorize his way around.

 

Of course, going out into the world on his own… It would always be difficult. Even something so seemingly simple as going to the store for groceries. He would learn how to call in interpreters, and social service providers.

 

There was so much to teach, and so much to learn… So many little things that Makoto had never had to know about, let alone learn how.

 

He was actually pretty excited. The idea of getting Hayato to adulthood in a home like this… Raised at a Deaf school with a parent who was Deaf and Blind just like him. The idea that he could have someone like Haru who understood, and someone like Makoto who could support him in the Hearing/Sighted world…

 

Growing up proud in a culture denied to so many children like him.

 

What a privilege.

 

That night, Hayato fell asleep on the couch, several cubes of clay rising slowly up and down on his stomach as he breathed. Makoto moved him to his futon with a smile, tucking Hayato in and feeling like an adult. Things felt calm… almost surreal. He really hadn’t expected things to wrap up so nicely.

 

Haru took Hayato’s spot on the couch, curling in on himself under a blanket with his hands sticking out, held palm up, like a little doorway into his self-made cocoon.

 

Makoto swallowed roughly at the sight. This had been happening a lot more over the past few weeks. Haru would retreat in on himself, remaining silent for hours at a time.

 

Makoto figured he should count it lucky that Haru still left his hands held out.

 

“Are you okay?” Makoto sat down on the couch next to him.

 

“Yeah. Always.” Haru’s hands said, though he didn’t come out from the blanket.

 

_Should I ask more? He doesn’t seem like he wants to talk, but… This had only gotten worse since…_ Well, he didn’t really want to think of it that way, but… _Since Hayato showed up._

 

“You sure?” Makoto put a hand on Haru’s back through his blanket barrier.

 

Haru shrugged.

 

“Are you worried about something?” _Might as well guess until I hit it._

 

Haru shook his head.

 

“Hmm… Are you upset about Hayato?” Makoto actually thought that could be it, no matter how much he hoped it wasn’t true.

 

Haru shook his head.

 

Makoto sighed, “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, then?”

 

Haru shrugged.

 

“Point, Haru.” Makoto frowned, “What’s the point? You’re acting like Hearing people.”

 

Haru pulled back the blanket at that, “I’m offended. My boyfriend’s Hearing. They’re normal people too.”

 

_Okay, so he is upset about something. He doesn’t usually change the subject like this._

 

“Enough. Tell me the point of all this.” _Fine, if he wants to Hearing-talk, I’ll do Deaf-talk._

 

“I’m busy right now, leave a message.”

 

“Why are you so sad? Tell me.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Liar. Why are you lying?”

 

“I’m not. I’m fine.”

 

“Want to swim?”

 

“No, stop it.”

 

_What does he mean, ‘no?’ That’s not what he’s supposed to say._ “Yes you do. You always want to swim.”

 

“Why do you care?” Haru tried to pull the blanket back over his head, but Makoto caught his wrists and took it away.

 

“Because I love you! Go swimming with me.” Makoto tossed the blanket out of Haru’s reach.

 

“I’m tired.”

 

“Why?!” Makoto cried, “Just tell me what’s wrong!”

 

Haru stiffened, pulling his hands away. Makoto waited expectantly, hands on Haru’s knees so he’d know he was listening.

 

Haru sighed, letting his hair fall over his eyes. He did that more often now. Since he couldn’t see anyway, such a small obstruction wasn’t an issue.

 

Sometimes, Makoto missed seeing the blue of his eyes. He never said anything, since that was the least of the issues, but… It was just one more thing since Haru lost the last of his vision, one real clear signal that things were different now. Haru’s eyes were closed. It felt like a lot more of him had closed off as well. Maybe it had. Maybe it would never open back up.

 

Even if it did, it might never be the same. Haru’s eyes would glaze over, and maybe that small part of himself that had closed with his eyes would be glazed over as well.

 

He knew he shouldn’t be… he felt guilty for feeling this way, but…

 

It made Makoto sad.

 

Not sad for Haru, sad for himself. In a truly selfish way, he was sad just because he’d never see Haru’s eyes again- or, at least- not in the same way. It was frustrating. Makoto so desperately wanted to be sympathetic to Haru, and to be fully concerned with Haru’s well being, yet… He couldn’t shake that last bit of selfish desire. There was no reason he should be feeling sorry for himself, and it was probably detrimental somehow as well.

 

The bumps of Hayato’s spine jutted out prominently on the back of his neck. His bones had developed with his head tilted down. It was a perfect physical representation for the weight he’d carried just by being born into the family he had. Like his mother, father, brother, whoever, had constantly held their thumb to the back of his head, forcing him to stare at the ground, away from the insanity, keeping him submerged in his naivete...

 

But that’s not really what it meant. All it meant was there was no reason people looked up except to see, and angle their hearing. It was pointless for Hayato to face forward.

 

It was pointless for Haru to open his eyes.

 

“I don’t know what the point is.” Haru finally spoke. “I don’t think it’s right to say when I’m not sure.” He shrugged, “Just, I think… it’s hard. My whole life… I’ve been waiting for this to happen. Everything my parents taught me… It was all preparation for when I lost my sight. Now it’s happened. I don’t know what to wait for anymore. I don’t know what I’m preparing for.” He leaned his head against Makoto’s shoulders, hands stretched out in front.

 

Makoto wasn’t sure what to say. He stared at Haru’s hands, wary to touch them. He wished he had some sage advice to offer, but he didn’t. How could he? He’d never experienced anything remotely like this, so he really couldn’t relate. Still, he felt Haru’s pain, and wished there was something he could do to lessen it. Something...

 

“Say something.” Haru demanded, shaking his hands like Makoto had forgotten him.

 

Makoto shook his head, “I… don’t know what I should say.”

 

Haru looked as disappointed as Makoto felt. “Okay.”

 

“But I…” No, there was no way to end that sentence.

 

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Haru patted Makoto’s leg.

 

Makoto’s throat felt tight. _He_ should be the one to tell _Haru_ it was okay, not to worry. It wasn’t fair that Haru was saying it to him.

 

“Hey, wanna go to bed?” Haru made to stand up.

 

“Wait-” Makoto grabbed his elbow. “Wait…”

 

Haru did.

 

_You don’t have to wait. You don’t have to wait for anything. Life should bow to you, and you should make it do what you please. Preparing for the future can’t be best if it means you can’t be happy now. Why would you weight time like that? Is the future really so much more significant that it’s worth giving up your joy for? It can’t be. I wouldn’t want a future like that. Who knows if I’d ever even reach it._

 

He didn’t say any of that. Maybe he should have. Maybe it would have helped. Except… while he was thinking it, Haru said something else, and all thoughts of waiting or not waiting were driven from Makoto’s mind.

 

Because Haru didn’t wait for Makoto to speak.

 

“It’s all pointless. I think… I don’t know the point because there is none, and there never was. I don’t want to wait for tomorrow. I don’t want it.” He sighed, “But… I want to go to bed, and I want you to come with me.” He walked off, counting his steps and signing over his head, “I don’t want to wait.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I would deal with Haru.
> 
> So I'm dealing with Haru.
> 
> *258*


	26. Chapter 26

It had been months. Hayato’s language skills were so dramatically improved that it was hard to believe they were seeing the same meek child from before. Now he was talkative, funny, and sociable.

 

He overwhelmed Haru sometimes.

 

“Then, the other girl said, ‘people can’t fly,’ and I told her she has no imagination, and then she cried.” Hayato was explaining his day in detail to Makoto, who had in fact been there for the whole thing.

 

“It’s not nice to make your friends cry,” Makoto chastised, looking over his shoulder at Haru, who was reading something on his computer.

 

“I didn’t! She cried all on her own.” He puffed out his cheeks in annoyance.

 

Makoto sighed, giving up. The other kids seemed to like Hayato well enough, so it didn’t matter too much that he was occasionally… less than sensitive.

 

Haru tapped Makoto, “Look.” He pointed at his computer screen.

 

“Your screen’s black.” Makoto told him, searching the keyboard for the screen light button.

 

“WFDB is having a conference this January,” Haru pointed at the blank screen again pointlessly.

 

“WFDB?”

 

Hayato reached over to listen.

 

“World Federation for the Deafblind. It’s in America this time.” Haru explained as Hayato climbed over Makoto to reach better.

 

“I’m Deafblind!” Hayato exclaimed, thumping himself on the chest.

 

“Yeah.” Haru scrolled down on the computer, the bumps on his Braille reader shifting rapidly.

 

“What’s federation?” Hayato tapped Makoto, who lifted him awkwardly from his perch on Makoto’s shoulders.

 

“A bunch of people who come together for a certain reason.” Makoto explained.

 

“Oh. What’s America?”

 

“It’s a country like Japan, but far away.” Makoto shifted to prevent Hayato from knocking over Haru’s computer.

 

“Hm… What’s a country?” Hayato stuck his tongue out.

 

“It’s like a city, but bigger. There are lots of cities inside a country.” Makoto answered a lot of questions like this. Haru sometimes got annoyed by it, but it was important to make sure Hayato never stopped asking, no matter how frequently. Most kids had the opportunity to listen to random conversations going on around them, and would thus pick up little words all the time. Hayato specifically needed to ask if he was ever going to learn. Makoto had been constantly encouraging these questions, and Hayato seemed to enjoy learning, which was good.

 

“We live in Japan?” Hayato asked.

 

“Yeah, that’s right.”

 

“We live in this apartment. And then sometimes I live with Kou and Mama in their house. But you and Haru don’t go there. I go to Meisei everyday but weekends...” he frowned like he was solving a puzzle. “Sometimes I go to the other apartment with Rin and Sou. And I go to the pool a lot.”

 

“That’s a lot of places,” Makoto nodded.

 

“What happened to that other place?” He frowned.

 

_Uh oh._ “What do you mean?”

 

He shrugged, reminding Makoto strongly of Haru. “You know… Smells like here in the morning, but all the time. Lots of people pat my head. There was a fence.”

 

“Ah… The coffee shop.” Makoto nodded.

 

“Coffee shop.” Hayato repeated.

 

“Back when you lived with your mom, you used to go there everyday. Remember?” It was a bit of an odd topic… Hayato didn’t have words back then, so Makoto wasn’t sure how much he actually could recall about specific things. Certainly, he was able to recall his own memories, but whether or not he had any clue what was going on was a mystery.

 

“Mom…” Hayato put his hand over his face, like he used to do with Mrs. Shigino. “Yeah. Coffee shop.” He patted his head, questioning.

 

“Kisumi? He’s your brother.” Makoto remembered the way Kisumi used to pat Hayato’s head that way.

 

“Ki...su...mi…” Hayato spelled slowly. “Brother like Rin to Kou.”

 

“Yeah, exactly. Do you remember him talking to you?” Kisumi knew how to spell his name, it was possible Hayato remembered.

 

“That was the same person… who patted my head and who said ‘Ki-su-mi.’” Hayato nodded, “Yeah. I remember. We went in the car a lot.”

 

“You did, didn’t you?” Makoto nodded, glad Hayato at least remembered his brother, no matter what kind of a person Kisumi was.

 

Hayato frowned, “Brother… At school, all the kids have a mom and a dad, and some of them have sisters or brothers.” Hayato thought about it, “Kisumi is my brother. Who’s my family?”

 

_Huh. That’s a big question in this situation…_ Makoto wasn’t sure how to answer. “Haru-” He tapped the still reading Haru, “He just asked who his family is.”

 

“My family is the water.” Haru responded, unhelpfully.

 

“What do I tell him?” Makoto fretted.

 

Haru shrugged, “The truth.”

 

_Right. Ugh. The truth._ Makoto supposed it was important to instill the idea that the truth was valuable… especially given the family Hayato had come from.

 

“Well…” He began, “When you were born, you got your first family. That’s your mom, and your dad, and Kisumi, your brother. Most kids stay with the family they were born into forever. But not always. Sometimes, kids get adopted by new moms and dads. Then they have a new family. Just like you.”

 

Hayato nodded slowly, “So… Who’s my mom and dad?”

 

_Umm…_ “You know Mama?”

 

“Matsuoka!” Hayato agreed.

 

“Yeah, that’s right. She took you, so now she’s your mom. But you don’t live with her very much, do you?” _Who actually are his parents?_

 

“No, I live with you and Haru.”

 

“Right. So Haru and I take care of you.” _But we’re not really his dads, are we? This is weird._

 

Hayato nodded impatiently, “Yeah.”

 

Makoto turned to Haru for help, “He keeps asking who his parents are. I have no idea. What do I say?”

 

Haru sighed, closing his computer and setting it on the coffee table. He tapped Hayato and took his hands.

 

“Most kids have two parents, a mom and a dad. Some kids have two moms, or two dads. Some kids only have one mom, or one dad. Some kids don’t have either. You’re different. You have a whole bunch of people who take care of you and love you. You have a mom who took care of you for a long time, and a dad too. You also have Mama and Makoto and me. In your birth family, you have Kisumi as a brother. Now, you also have Kou and Sou and Rin and Ran and Ren. You’re lucky. You get to have a very big family with lots of parents and brothers and sisters. Isn’t that great?”

 

He shot a look at Makoto that clearly said, “There. Simple.”

 

Hayato nodded, “Yeah! I have the biggest family!”

 

Makoto was relieved.

 

“I win.” Hayato grinned, a little darkly.

 

_Ah… Hm. Well, at least he’s confident._

 

“Do you understand, Hayato?” Makoto asked.

 

“Mhm.” Hayato nodded, “I have a special family.”

 

“Right.”

 

It was good that Hayato’s confidence was being built. These past few months had been really good for both Hayato _and_ Haru, actually. It seemed Haru was becoming more adjusted to this new way of life, and was accepting it more. There had been rough patches, of course. Times when Haru didn’t get out of bed all day, times where going to work had been a chore.

 

Makoto remembered just a few weeks ago, in the pool on the weekend when Hayato went to Rin’s mom’s place. They had agreed that Haru and Makoto would have their weekends to themselves- Mrs. Matsuoka having strongly emphasized how important it was that they both got to be young and take a break from responsibility.

 

It was one of those times where Haru would stay underwater as long as he could, sometimes curling up at the bottom of the pool, cheeks puffed out in a way that made him look like a pouting five-year-old.

 

Makoto had to swim down to meet him. Haru was able to stay underwater for disturbing amounts of time, and especially when he was sitting still, waiting wasn’t much of an option.

 

It felt odd to talk underwater. It made his hands slow, and the water swirled around them, whipped up by the movement.

 

Haru didn’t seem to mind.

 

“What’s wrong?” Makoto asked, pushing his hair away from his eyes.

 

“Nothing.” Haru stared at the floor.

 

“Come out for a second,” Makoto tugged on his wrist.

 

Haru pulled away, “No, I’m swimming.”

 

“You’re not. You’re moping. I can’t breathe.” Makoto tugged harder and Haru complied, kicking to the surface.

 

Haru stared down as the water dripped off of him, not talking.

 

Makoto sighed, “I wish I could help you with this.”

 

Haru shrugged, “There’s nothing much to help.”

 

_But you’re sad… And that makes me sad._ “I think…” He paused, “I think you shouldn’t worry so much about what’s going to happen next. It can be any more important than what’s happening now, can it?”

 

Haru shrugged, “Yeah… guess not.” He sighed, “Don’t worry about me, Makoto. It’s fine. It’s just… If you lose something, you need to feel sad for a while. I don’t know how long a while is yet, but I don’t think it’s forever.”

 

Those words really stuck with Makoto. After hearing them, he was able to look at the problem from a different angle.

 

Haru wasn’t depressed. He was mourning.

 

That was a big difference. Depression was unhealthy. It was a problem to work on and overcome. Mourning was natural and important. It was just a mental process to adjust to loss.

 

Plus, Haru seemed to be handling it pretty well. He accepted how he felt, and understood that it wouldn’t be forever, but it was okay for now.

 

Makoto almost felt annoyed at Haru’s emotional intelligence. Well, maybe not annoyed so much as… envious.

 

Makoto tended to jump in and intervene with things. He tried to fix problems constantly, even when they would be resolved on their own. He wasn’t sure where that instinct came from, but it was uncontrollable. Not that he would change anything. The instinct to care was the only reason his life was shaped the way it was.

 

He may never have had the motivation to learn to talk to Haru.

 

He definitely wouldn’t be working at Meisei.

 

He wouldn’t have put nearly so much effort into saving Hayato.

 

Haru’s natural tendency to just sort of let things happen played out his life in it’s own way. He hadn’t worried about leaving school, which had gotten him his job at the aquarium that he still had and loved. He adjusted well to change- whether that be a new child in the house, or losing his remaining vision.

 

Makoto wondered how much of their respective ways of reacting to the world came from themselves, and how much came from their environments.

 

After all, Makoto had been the designated caregiver of his siblings since they were born. He had been expected pretty much his whole life to take care of others.

 

Haru, on the other hand, had been tossed around through various schools, learning what he could from a large variety of people. He had been taught so many different and conflicting things about life and himself, and he had had to pretend to agree as he pieced his worldview together.

 

Still, if it was nature… they were the perfect people for their respective situations. Things would have turned out very differently if they had grown up in each other’s shoes.

 

It was pointless but interesting to think about- what could have happened had they grown up together. Where they might be right now.

 

But it didn’t happen that way. It happened this way. So there was no way of knowing who they would have been, and it really didn’t matter anyhow.

 

They were here now, and no other time should have a stronger weight. Not the past, and not the future.

  
They were who they were, and that’s all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the last one.
> 
> I'm going to have a new story started not long after this one ends, though. I have one idea for another Makoharu, and also I've been working on an original story. If you're interested in either, be sure to subscribe to my author page, and thanks SO much for reading with me thus far!! ImI/


	27. Chapter 27

 

A tall, blank building towered intimidatingly over Makoto and the rest of the family- Haru, Hayato, Rin, and even Sousuke had tagged along. After an overnight flight to America for the ‘World Federation for the Deafblind’ conference, Hayato was crashed out on Makoto’s shoulder, and Haru was swaying slightly as he leaned a little too heavily on his cane, given what it was made for. They needed to check into the conference before checking into their hotel, and the group was taking a moment to breathe before walking into what would surely be a very long, very confusing chain of translations.

 

A woman sat at a plastic fold-up table just inside, stacks of flyers in various contrasting colors- and a few printed in Braille- surrounded her. She waved, signing something that…

 

Makoto felt like he had all those years ago, watching Haru and Rin talk without understanding a word. It was surreal. It was Sign Language, certainly, but… not Japanese Sign Language at all.

 

Rin stepped forward awkwardly with a pad of paper, something in English written on it.

 

The woman nodded, waving over a short, blond lady from a corner.

 

They checked in, the blond woman interpreting for the first Deaf woman, Rin then turning the English into Japanese, which Makoto relayed to Haru in JSL.

 

Everyone was desperately hoping nothing too big was being lost.

 

After a few minutes of broken communication, the Japanese group wound up with several maps, an information packet on the conference, and yellow wristbands.

 

“That was an ordeal.” Sousuke grumbled, taking Hayato from Makoto, who was flipping through the information packet, looking at the pictures since everything was written in English.

 

“You’re lucky I speak English,” Rin reminded him, “It could have been way worse.”

 

Sousuke nodded acquiescently. “So that was American Sign Language, huh? It looked weird.”

 

Makoto nodded fervently, “Yeah, they don’t move their mouths much, and it looks more jumbled.”

 

Rin shrugged, “I think they just don’t spell things as much. It looked like a lot of classifiers.”

 

“Hmm, yeah.” Makoto agreed.

 

Sousuke shot them both an annoyed look, “You gonna explain that, or…?”

 

Rin sighed, “Like… Classifiers… Uh… Makoto?”

 

“Like charades but structured.” Makoto supplied.

 

“Yeah,” Rin nodded thankfully, “Although… I mean, when we talk to Haru, we don’t mouth stuff so much. We just have to spell things a bunch. I wonder if TASL is more convenient than TJSL…”

 

Sousuke huffed again, “So, just gonna be totally esoteric conversations all weekend, or are you gonna explain things to me?”

 

Rin frowned, “Wha…? Oh, TJSL… Tactile. The T stands for tactile. Come on, you should have guessed that.”

 

Sousuke scowled, “I’m tired.”

 

“Learn sign,” Rin shrugged, compassionless.

 

Checking in to the hotel was much easier. They had two separate rooms, one with an extra twin bed for Hayato, who was a fan of sleep kicking, and thus required his own space.

 

It had been night when they left Japan, and after a fourteen hour flight, it was the same time in Washington DC as it was when they had left. Now they were expected to sleep again, when they had only just woken up. The position of the sun compared to their body clocks was making everyone a little woozy, but they had chosen to travel overnight and get extra sleep, rather than the opposite, for a good reason. It was unrealistic to expect Hayato to miss a night of sleep for the sake of adjusting, but the child could sleep endless extra hours, so at least the most temper-tantrum prone of the group would be satisfied.

 

Of course, the second most temper-tantrum prone was not pleased. Rin shouldered his bag with a deep scowl as they rode the elevator up to their floor. “There’s no way I’m falling asleep again. This is why I never take overnight flights going to foreign countries. Plus, it’s useless to force ourselves to adjust since we’re not staying long enough for it to matter.”

 

Sousuke shifted Hayato on his hip, “You don’t actually _have_ to sleep, Rin. You could just be tired tomorrow when we go to the conference.”

 

Rin sighed, “You’d better make me so much coffee… And stay up with me. It’s boring alone.”

 

Sousuke smirked, “I intend to.” He wrapped his free arm around Rin’s waist, pulling him close.

 

Makoto took Hayato from him, shaking his head in dismay, “You guys…”

 

Hayato woke with a start at the sudden movement, “What happened?”

 

“Shh, it’s fine. Go to sleep.”

 

*******

 

They showed up just as the conference was opening it’s doors. The convention center fluttered with speech of all sorts, and since nobody was bothering to keep quiet, the whole place was ear-shattering.

 

Makoto kept Hayato on a leash clipped to the kid’s backpack. It was the only way not to lose him as he strained at the literal end of his rope, tiny little cane swinging out wildly in front of him, occasionally slamming into people’s knees. Nobody seemed to mind. A few even smiled down at him, nodding knowingly towards their own child.

 

It was amazing, the sheer amount of people in attendance. Makoto glanced sideways at Haru, who was smiling in his barely noticeable Haru way.

 

There were booths full of different technologies, and informationals, and there were several areas where people were giving talks in English, Visual ASL, and even some small groups that were talking to each other telephone-style, in TASL.

 

After a while, Haru, Makoto, and Hayato found a table near a wall to have lunch. Sleep last night had been patchy, so they both got large cups of coffee to go with their food.

 

“I like it here,” Haru said after a while.

 

“I’m glad.” Makoto smiled at Hayato, who was listening intently. He was pretty riled up from all the people he’d sort-of talked to. Lots of people had been very interested to learn how to spell Hayato’s name with the Hirigana-based spelling.

 

A woman neither of them knew sat down next to them.

 

To Makoto’s surprise, she spoke in Japanese, “Hi! I’ve seen you guys walking around. Sorry if this is weird… I grew up in Japan, and now I’ve got this Deafblind kid that I’ve raised in America…” She paused as Makoto told Haru what she was saying. “Oh wow, so he uses Tactile too, huh? Runs in the family, I guess. Ah, here, this is my daughter Aleina with my husband.” A tall man showed up, guiding a girl of about twelve.

 

Makoto smiled, noting the way the bumps of Aleina’s spine showed through her neck as she walked facing the floor, just like Hayato.

 

“Spinal Meningitis when she was one.” The woman explained, “I know, so old-fashioned. I’m Raienne, by the way. Or… I went by Naomi in Japan, but… I prefer Raienne.”

 

“Makoto. This is Haru, and Hayato.” He gestured to each of them.

 

He and Raienne talked for a while after that, watching casually as Hayato and Aleina introduced themselves to each other.

 

It was quite amazing to watch, actually. Even without a language in common, they managed to communicate decently. They tugged each other around, introducing family members, and showing off their favorite toys. Aleina apparently was rather fond of a stuffed white poodle whose curls were now matted and flat from age. Hayato fished through his backpack, finding a plastic baggie of clay, which the two then sat down on the floor with, proceeding to mold into cubes (Hayato) or much smaller versions of the poodle (Aleina).

 

Rin and Sousuke joined them after a while, both eyeing Raienne and her husband curiously.

 

“There’s more of you!” Raienne exclaimed, “Wow, so many men. Glad Aleina’s a girl just to balance things out a little more… Although, I guess it’s a bit harder to tell right away if you’re deaf and blind, huh?” She chuckled.

 

They all finished lunch together, before setting back off to the conference.

 

*******

 

At the end of the day, everyone was exhausted. Well, except Hayato. For whatever reason, he was practically bouncing as the rest trudged their way back to the hotel.

 

Back in their room, Makoto collapsed on the bed, arms spread. Haru collapsed on top of him.

 

They stayed still that way for so long, Makoto thought Haru had fallen asleep. Then, he moved, pushing himself up to talk to Makoto.

 

“I’m glad we’re here.”

 

“Me too.” Makoto nodded, “Seems like a really good place, for Hayato too-”

 

“No, I mean…” Haru frowned, “I’m glad we’re here, like… Everything.”

 

“Hm?” Makoto frowned.

 

Haru shrugged, “Just… Things could have gone so differently, so many times. I guess… I’m glad it happened this way, and not some other way.”

 

Oh. _Oh._ Makoto smiled, tears springing to his eyes as his heart fluttered rapidly. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad it did too.”

 

Haru looked away, “I… Thanks for… Showing me the way to the pool.” His shoulders scrunched up, embarrassed. “And… coming to the aquarium with me… and… learning to talk for me… You didn’t have to, but you did.”

 

That was… Well, it made Makoto happy to hear, but… “You know, you don’t need to thank me for those things. And...It wasn’t all me doing things for you.”

 

Haru bit his lip, tilting his head noncommittally.

 

Makoto sat up too, “No, it wasn’t. Everything you’re thanking me for, you did just as much.”

 

_All that time, back when we first met… I was thinking the same as him._

 

“You didn’t have to put effort into me either.” Makoto continued, “You let me become a part of a community I never would have even considered. Because of you, I got to learn a whole new language, a whole new way of thinking… And not even just that… We go beyond our hearing and vision status, don’t we? I didn’t love you in spite of it, Haru…”

 

Haru twitched.

 

“I didn’t love you because of it either. There’s more to us than that. Right?”

 

Haru clenched and unclenched his hands, “Hmm…” He looked up, “But it’s been a pretty big part of everything we’ve been through.”

 

_Has it?_ “I guess… It’s just part of our life. We’ve done more than overcome language or cultural barriers, though. Just because some of the more… dramatic… events have had deafblindness at the core, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing else. But… Even if that was the main event, that doesn’t mean we should look down on it, right? My point is… You shouldn’t ever thank me for loving you. At least, not more than I should thank you for loving me.”

 

Haru smiled.

 

Makoto smiled back. “Thanks. Thanks for showing me around the aquarium. And for introducing me to this amazing new world. And for teaching me to talk to you. You didn’t have to, but you did. So, most of all… Thank you for loving me.”

 

Haru shrugged, but Makoto saw the joy behind the gesture. “S-sure…”

 

It was nice. Everything. Being here, with Haru, with Hayato. Maybe someday Hayato would have to find a new home. Maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe someday everything would be different. Maybe that would be better. Maybe not. Regardless, they were here now, and it was good. The future didn’t matter any more than now, and the past was done. However they had gotten here, however slim the chances had been, it had happened. And that was good too.

 

From koi ponds to stormy seas, from crabs and snails to eight-year-old boys, from ignorant mothers to sociopathic brothers, everything was good now.

  
And that’s all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys SO MUCH for reading all this way, and for all the wonderful support and encouragement you've given me. I've been working on this AU for FIVE MONTHS, so I'm pretty sad to see it go.
> 
> I wanted this story to end complete, but still open. Happy, but not happily ever after. The idea of happily ever after makes me sad, because that means the story's over. I like to think that no matter what grand adventure has been completed, another grand adventure might soon follow.
> 
> So with that thought in mind, I'll turn to new ideas, new stories, and new adventures. I hope to see you guys again soon, but if this is goodbye, then let me say it's been an honor!
> 
> Thanks for being a part of this with me. You didn't have to, but you did. ImI/


End file.
